borderneverletmego

NARRATIVEOFTHELIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS,ANAMERICANSLAVEBYFREDERICKDOUGLASS77^^WWYYSS``ff77TTaaaa]]eeNARRATIVEOFTHELIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS,ANAMERICANSLAVE.
WRITTENBYHIMSELF.
BOSTONPUBLISHEDATTHEANTI-SLAVERYOFFICE,NO.
25CORNHILL1845Entered,accordingtoActofCongress,intheyear1845,BYFREDERICKDOUGLASS,intheClerk'sOfficeoftheDistrictCourtofMassachusetts.
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PREFACE.
INthemonthofAugust,1841,Iattendedananti-slaveryconventioninNantucket,atwhichitwasmyhappinesstobecomeacquaintedwithFREDERICKDOUGLASS,thewriterofthefollowingNarrative.
Hewasastrangertonearlyeverymemberofthatbody;but,havingrecentlymadehisescapefromthesouthernprison-houseofbondage,andfeelinghiscuriosityexcitedtoascertaintheprinciplesandmeasuresoftheabolitionists,—ofwhomhehadheardasomewhatvaguedescriptionwhilehewasaslave,—hewasinducedtogivehisattendance,ontheoccasionalludedto,thoughatthattimearesidentinNewBedford.
Fortunate,mostfortunateoccurrence!
—fortunateforthemillionsofhismanacledbrethren,yetpantingfordeliverancefromtheirawfulthraldom!
—fortunateforthecauseofnegroemancipation,andofuniversalliberty!
—fortunateforthelandofhisbirth,whichhehasalreadydonesomuchtosaveandbless!
—fortunateforalargecircleoffriendsandacquaintances,whosesympathyandaffectionhehasstronglysecuredbythemanysufferingshehasendured,byhisvirtuoustraitsofcharacter,byhisever-abidingremembranceofthosewhoareinbonds,asbeingboundwiththem!
—fortunateforthemultitudes,invariouspartsofourrepublic,whosemindshehasenlightenedonthesubjectofslavery,andwhohavebeenmeltedtotearsbyhispathos,orrousedtovirtuousindignationbyhisstirringeloquenceagainsttheenslaversofmen!
—fortunateforhimself,asitatoncebroughthimintothefieldofpublicusefulness,PREFACEvi"gavetheworldassuranceofaMAN,"quickenedtheslumberingenergiesofhissoul,andconsecratedhimtothegreatworkofbreakingtherodoftheoppressor,andlettingtheoppressedgofree!
Ishallneverforgethisfirstspeechattheconvention—theextraordinaryemotionitexcitedinmyownmind—thepowerfulimpressionitcreateduponacrowdedauditory,completelytakenbysurprise—theapplausewhichfollowedfromthebeginningtotheendofhisfelicitousremarks.
IthinkIneverhatedslaverysointenselyasatthatmoment;certainly,myperceptionoftheenormousoutragewhichisinflictedbyit,onthegodlikenatureofitsvictims,wasrenderedfarmoreclearthanever.
Therestoodone,inphysicalproportionandstaturecommandingandexact—inintellectrichlyendowed—innaturaleloquenceaprodigy—insoulmanifestly"createdbutalittlelowerthantheangels"—yetaslave,ay,afugitiveslave,—tremblingforhissafety,hardlydaringtobelievethatontheAmericansoil,asinglewhitepersoncouldbefoundwhowouldbefriendhimatallhazards,fortheloveofGodandhumanity!
Capableofhighattainmentsasanintellectualandmoralbeing—needingnothingbutacomparativelysmallamountofcultivationtomakehimanornamenttosocietyandablessingtohisrace—bythelawoftheland,bythevoiceofthepeople,bythetermsoftheslavecode,hewasonlyapieceofproperty,abeastofburden,achattelpersonal,nevertheless!
AbelovedfriendfromNewBedfordprevailedonMr.
DOUGLASStoaddresstheconvention.
Hecameforwardtotheplatformwithahesitancyandembarrassment,necessarilytheattendantsofasensitivemindinsuchanovelposition.
Afterapologizingforhisignorance,andremindingtheaudiencethatslaverywasapoorschoolforthehumanintellectandheart,heproceededtonarratesomeofthefactsinhisownhistoryasaslave,andinthecourseofhisspeechgaveutterancetomanyPREFACEviinoblethoughtsandthrillingreflections.
Assoonashehadtakenhisseat,filledwithhopeandadmiration,Irose,anddeclaredthatPATRICKHENRY,ofrevolutionaryfame,nevermadeaspeechmoreeloquentinthecauseofliberty,thantheonewehadjustlistenedtofromthelipsofthathuntedfugitive.
SoIbelievedatthattime—suchismybeliefnow.
Iremindedtheaudienceoftheperilwhichsurroundedthisself-emancipatedyoungmanattheNorth,—eveninMassachusetts,onthesoilofthePilgrimFathers,amongthedescendantsofrevolutionarysires;andIappealedtothem,whethertheywouldeverallowhimtobecarriedbackintoslavery,—lawornolaw,constitutionornoconstitution.
Theresponsewasunanimousandinthunder-tones—"NO!
""Willyousuccorandprotecthimasabrother-man—aresidentoftheoldBayState""YES!
"shoutedthewholemass,withanenergysostartling,thattheruthlesstyrantssouthofMasonandDixon'slinemightalmosthaveheardthemightyburstoffeeling,andrecognizeditasthepledgeofaninvincibledetermination,onthepartofthosewhogaveit,nevertobetrayhimthatwanders,buttohidetheoutcast,andfirmlytoabidetheconsequences.
Itwasatoncedeeplyimpresseduponmymind,that,ifMr.
DOUGLASScouldbepersuadedtoconsecratehistimeandtalentstothepromotionoftheanti-slaveryenterprise,apowerfulimpetuswouldbegiventoit,andastunningblowatthesametimeinflictedonnorthernprejudiceagainstacoloredcomplexion.
Ithereforeendeavoredtoinstilhopeandcourageintohismind,inorderthathemightdaretoengageinavocationsoanomalousandresponsibleforapersoninhissituation;andIwassecondedinthiseffortbywarm-heartedfriends,especiallybythelateGeneralAgentoftheMassachusettsAnti-SlaverySociety,Mr.
JOHNA.
COLLINS,whosejudgmentinthisinstanceentirelycoincidedwithmyown.
Atfirst,hecouldgivenoencouragement;withunfeignedPREFACEviiidiffidence,heexpressedhisconvictionthathewasnotadequatetotheperformanceofsogreatatask;thepathmarkedoutwaswhollyanuntroddenone;hewassincerelyapprehensivethatheshoulddomoreharmthangood.
Aftermuchdeliberation,however,heconsentedtomakeatrial;andeversincethatperiod,hehasactedasalecturingagent,undertheauspiceseitheroftheAmericanortheMassachusettsAnti-SlaverySociety.
Inlaborshehasbeenmostabundant;andhissuccessincombatingprejudice,ingainingproselytes,inagitatingthepublicmind,hasfarsurpassedthemostsanguineexpectationsthatwereraisedatthecommencementofhisbrilliantcareer.
Hehasbornehimselfwithgentlenessandmeekness,yetwithtruemanlinessofcharacter.
Asapublicspeaker,heexcelsinpathos,wit,comparison,imitation,strengthofreasoning,andfluencyoflanguage.
Thereisinhimthatunionofheadandheart,whichisindispensabletoanenlightenmentoftheheadsandawinningoftheheartsofothers.
Mayhisstrengthcontinuetobeequaltohisday!
Mayhecontinueto"growingrace,andintheknowledgeofGod,"thathemaybeincreasinglyserviceableinthecauseofbleedinghumanity,whetherathomeorabroad!
Itiscertainlyaveryremarkablefact,thatoneofthemostefficientadvocatesoftheslavepopulation,nowbeforethepublic,isafugitiveslave,inthepersonofFREDERICKDOUGLASS;andthatthefreecoloredpopulationoftheUnitedStatesareasablyrepresentedbyoneoftheirownnumber,inthepersonofCHARLESLENOXREMOND,whoseeloquentappealshaveextortedthehighestapplauseofmultitudesonbothsidesoftheAtlantic.
Letthecalumniatorsofthecoloredracedespisethemselvesfortheirbasenessandilliberalityofspirit,andhenceforthceasetotalkofthenaturalinferiorityofthosewhorequirenothingbuttimeandopportunitytoattaintothehighestpointofhumanexcellence.
PREFACEixItmay,perhaps,befairlyquestioned,whetheranyotherportionofthepopulationoftheearthcouldhaveenduredtheprivations,sufferingsandhorrorsofslavery,withouthavingbecomemoredegradedinthescaleofhumanitythantheslavesofAfricandescent.
Nothinghasbeenleftundonetocrippletheirintellects,darkentheirminds,debasetheirmoralnature,obliteratealltracesoftheirrelationshiptomankind;andyethowwonderfullytheyhavesustainedthemightyloadofamostfrightfulbondage,underwhichtheyhavebeengroaningforcenturies!
Toillustratetheeffectofslaveryonthewhiteman,—toshowthathehasnopowersofendurance,insuchacondition,superiortothoseofhisblackbrother,—DANIELO'CONNELL,thedistinguishedadvocateofuniversalemancipation,andthemightiestchampionofprostratebutnotconqueredIreland,relatesthefollowinganecdoteinaspeechdeliveredbyhimintheConciliationHall,Dublin,beforetheLoyalNationalRepealAssociation,March31,1845.
"Nomatter,"saidMr.
O'CONNELL,"underwhatspecioustermitmaydisguiseitself,slaveryisstillhideous.
Ithasanatural,aninevitabletendencytobrutalizeeverynoblefacultyofman.
AnAmericansailor,whowascastawayontheshoreofAfrica,wherehewaskeptinslaveryforthreeyears,was,attheexpirationofthatperiod,foundtobeimbrutedandstultified—hehadlostallreasoningpower;andhavingforgottenhisnativelanguage,couldonlyuttersomesavagegibberishbetweenArabicandEnglish,whichnobodycouldunderstand,andwhichevenhehimselffounddifficultyinpronouncing.
SomuchforthehumanizinginfluenceofTHEDOMESTICINSTITUTION!
"Admittingthistohavebeenanextraordinarycaseofmentaldeterioration,itprovesatleastthatthewhiteslavecansinkaslowinthescaleofhumanityastheblackone.
Mr.
DOUGLASShasveryproperlychosentowritehisownNarrative,inhisownstyle,andaccordingtothebestofhisPREFACExability,ratherthantoemploysomeoneelse.
Itis,therefore,entirelyhisownproduction;and,consideringhowlonganddarkwasthecareerhehadtorunasaslave,—howfewhavebeenhisopportunitiestoimprovehismindsincehebrokehisironfetters,—itis,inmyjudgment,highlycreditabletohisheadandheart.
Hewhocanperuseitwithoutatearfuleye,aheavingbreast,anafflictedspirit,—withoutbeingfilledwithanunutterableabhorrenceofslaveryandallitsabettors,andanimatedwithadeterminationtoseektheimmediateoverthrowofthatexecrablesystem,—withouttremblingforthefateofthiscountryinthehandsofarighteousGod,whoiseveronthesideoftheoppressed,andwhosearmisnotshortenedthatitcannotsave,—musthaveaflintyheart,andbequalifiedtoactthepartofatrafficker"inslavesandthesoulsofmen.
"Iamconfidentthatitisessentiallytrueinallitsstatements;thatnothinghasbeensetdowninmalice,nothingexaggerated,nothingdrawnfromtheimagination;thatitcomesshortofthereality,ratherthanoverstatesasinglefactinregardtoSLAVERYASITIS.
TheexperienceofFREDERICKDOUGLASS,asaslave,wasnotapeculiarone;hislotwasnotespeciallyahardone;hiscasemayberegardedasaveryfairspecimenofthetreatmentofslavesinMaryland,inwhichStateitisconcededthattheyarebetterfedandlesscruellytreatedthaninGeorgia,Alabama,orLouisiana.
Manyhavesufferedincomparablymore,whileveryfewontheplantationshavesufferedless,thanhimself.
Yethowdeplorablewashissituation!
whatterriblechastisementswereinflicteduponhisperson!
whatstillmoreshockingoutrageswereperpetrateduponhismind!
withallhisnoblepowersandsublimeaspirations,howlikeabrutewashetreated,evenbythoseprofessingtohavethesamemindinthemthatwasinChristJesus!
towhatdreadfulliabilitieswashecontinuallysubjected!
howdestituteoffriendlycounselandaid,eveninhisgreatestextremities!
howheavywasthemidnightofwoewhichPREFACExishroudedinblacknessthelastrayofhope,andfilledthefuturewithterrorandgloom!
whatlongingsafterfreedomtookpossessionofhisbreast,andhowhismiseryaugmented,inproportionashegrewreflectiveandintelligent,—thusdemonstratingthatahappyslaveisanextinctman!
howhethought,reasoned,felt,underthelashofthedriver,withthechainsuponhislimbs!
whatperilsheencounteredinhisendeavorstoescapefromhishorribledoom!
andhowsignalhavebeenhisdeliveranceandpreservationinthemidstofanationofpitilessenemies!
ThisNarrativecontainsmanyaffectingincidents,manypassagesofgreateloquenceandpower;butIthinkthemostthrillingoneofthemallisthedescriptionDOUGLASSgivesofhisfeelings,ashestoodsoliloquizingrespectinghisfate,andthechancesofhisonedaybeingafreeman,onthebanksoftheChesapeakeBay—viewingtherecedingvesselsastheyflewwiththeirwhitewingsbeforethebreeze,andapostrophizingthemasanimatedbythelivingspiritoffreedom.
Whocanreadthatpassage,andbeinsensibletoitspathosandsublimityCompressedintoitisawholeAlexandrianlibraryofthought,feeling,andsentiment—allthatcan,allthatneedbeurged,intheformofexpostulation,entreaty,rebuke,againstthatcrimeofcrimes,—makingmanthepropertyofhisfellow-man!
O,howaccursedisthatsystem,whichentombsthegodlikemindofman,defacesthedivineimage,reducesthosewhobycreationwerecrownedwithgloryandhonortoalevelwithfour-footedbeasts,andexaltsthedealerinhumanfleshaboveallthatiscalledGod!
WhyshoulditsexistencebeprolongedonehourIsitnotevil,onlyevil,andthatcontinuallyWhatdoesitspresenceimplybuttheabsenceofallfearofGod,allregardforman,onthepartofthepeopleoftheUnitedStatesHeavenspeeditseternaloverthrow!
PREFACExiiSoprofoundlyignorantofthenatureofslaveryaremanypersons,thattheyarestubbornlyincredulouswhenevertheyreadorlistentoanyrecitalofthecrueltieswhicharedailyinflictedonitsvictims.
Theydonotdenythattheslavesareheldasproperty;butthatterriblefactseemstoconveytotheirmindsnoideaofinjustice,exposuretooutrage,orsavagebarbarity.
Tellthemofcruelscourgings,ofmutilationsandbrandings,ofscenesofpollutionandblood,ofthebanishmentofalllightandknowledge,andtheyaffecttobegreatlyindignantatsuchenormousexaggerations,suchwholesalemisstatements,suchabominablelibelsonthecharacterofthesouthernplanters!
Asifallthesedirefuloutrageswerenotthenaturalresultsofslavery!
Asifitwerelesscrueltoreduceahumanbeingtotheconditionofathing,thantogivehimasevereflagellation,ortodeprivehimofnecessaryfoodandclothing!
Asifwhips,chains,thumb-screws,paddles,bloodhounds,overseers,drivers,patrols,werenotallindispensabletokeeptheslavesdown,andtogiveprotectiontotheirruthlessoppressors!
Asif,whenthemarriageinstitutionisabolished,concubinage,adultery,andincest,mustnotnecessarilyabound;whenalltherightsofhumanityareannihilated,anybarrierremainstoprotectthevictimfromthefuryofthespoiler;whenabsolutepowerisassumedoverlifeandliberty,itwillnotbewieldedwithdestructivesway!
Skepticsofthischaracteraboundinsociety.
Insomefewinstances,theirincredulityarisesfromawantofreflection;but,generally,itindicatesahatredofthelight,adesiretoshieldslaveryfromtheassaultsofitsfoes,acontemptofthecoloredrace,whetherbondorfree.
SuchwilltrytodiscredittheshockingtalesofslaveholdingcrueltywhicharerecordedinthistruthfulNarrative;buttheywilllaborinvain.
Mr.
DOUGLASShasfranklydisclosedtheplaceofhisbirth,thenamesofthosewhoclaimedownershipinhisbodyandsoul,andthenamesPREFACExiiialsoofthosewhocommittedthecrimeswhichhehasallegedagainstthem.
Hisstatements,therefore,mayeasilybedisproved,iftheyareuntrue.
InthecourseofhisNarrative,herelatestwoinstancesofmurderouscruelty,—inoneofwhichaplanterdeliberatelyshotaslavebelongingtoaneighboringplantation,whohadunintentionallygottenwithinhislordlydomaininquestoffish;andintheother,anoverseerblewoutthebrainsofaslavewhohadfledtoastreamofwatertoescapeabloodyscourging.
Mr.
DOUGLASSstatesthatinneitheroftheseinstanceswasanythingdonebywayoflegalarrestorjudicialinvestigation.
TheBaltimoreAmerican,ofMarch17,1845,relatesasimilarcaseofatrocity,perpetratedwithsimilarimpunity—asfollows:—"Shootingaslave.
—Welearn,upontheauthorityofaletterfromCharlescounty,Maryland,receivedbyagentlemanofthiscity,thatayoungman,namedMatthews,anephewofGeneralMatthews,andwhosefather,itisbelieved,holdsanofficeatWashington,killedoneoftheslavesuponhisfather'sfarmbyshootinghim.
TheletterstatesthatyoungMatthewshadbeenleftinchargeofthefarm;thathegaveanordertotheservant,whichwasdisobeyed,whenheproceededtothehouse,obtainedagun,and,returning,shottheservant.
Heimmediately,thelettercontinues,fledtohisfather'sresidence,wherehestillremainsunmolested.
"—Letitneverbeforgotten,thatnoslaveholderoroverseercanbeconvictedofanyoutrageperpetratedonthepersonofaslave,howeverdiabolicalitmaybe,onthetestimonyofcoloredwitnesses,whetherbondorfree.
Bytheslavecode,theyareadjudgedtobeasincompetenttotestifyagainstawhiteman,asthoughtheywereindeedapartofthebrutecreation.
Hence,thereisnolegalprotectioninfact,whatevertheremaybeinform,fortheslavepopulation;andanyamountofcrueltymaybeinflictedonthemwithimpunity.
PREFACExivIsitpossibleforthehumanmindtoconceiveofamorehorriblestateofsocietyTheeffectofareligiousprofessionontheconductofsouthernmastersisvividlydescribedinthefollowingNarrative,andshowntobeanythingbutsalutary.
Inthenatureofthecase,itmustbeinthehighestdegreepernicious.
ThetestimonyofMr.
DOUGLASS,onthispoint,issustainedbyacloudofwitnesses,whoseveracityisunimpeachable.
"Aslaveholder'sprofessionofChristianityisapalpableimposture.
Heisafelonofthehighestgrade.
Heisaman-stealer.
Itisofnoimportancewhatyouputintheotherscale.
"Reader!
areyouwiththeman-stealersinsympathyandpurpose,oronthesideoftheirdown-troddenvictimsIfwiththeformer,thenareyouthefoeofGodandman.
Ifwiththelatter,whatareyoupreparedtodoanddareintheirbehalfBefaithful,bevigilant,beuntiringinyoureffortstobreakeveryyoke,andlettheoppressedgofree.
Comewhatmay—costwhatitmay—inscribeonthebannerwhichyouunfurltothebreeze,asyourreligiousandpoliticalmotto—"NOCOMPROMISEWITHSLAVERY!
NOUNIONWITHSLAVEHOLDERS!
"WM.
LLOYDGARRISON.
BOSTON,May1,1845.
LETTERFROMWENDELLPHILLIPS,ESQ.
BOSTON,April22,1845.
MyDearFriend:Youremembertheoldfableof"TheManandtheLion,"wherethelioncomplainedthatheshouldnotbesomisrepresented"whenthelionswrotehistory.
"Iamgladthetimehascomewhenthe"lionswritehistory.
"Wehavebeenleftlongenoughtogatherthecharacterofslaveryfromtheinvoluntaryevidenceofthemasters.
Onemight,indeed,restsufficientlysatisfiedwithwhat,itisevident,mustbe,ingeneral,theresultsofsucharelation,withoutseekingfarthertofindwhethertheyhavefollowedineveryinstance.
Indeed,thosewhostareatthehalf-peckofcornaweek,andlovetocountthelashesontheslave'sback,areseldomthe"stuff"outofwhichreformersandabolitionistsaretobemade.
Irememberthat,in1838,manywerewaitingfortheresultsoftheWestIndiaexperiment,beforetheycouldcomeintoourranks.
Those"results"havecomelongago;but,alas!
fewofthatnumberhavecomewiththem,asconverts.
Amanmustbedisposedtojudgeofemancipationbyotherteststhanwhetherithasincreasedtheproduceofsugar,—andtohateslaveryforotherreasonsthanbecauseitstarvesmenandwhipswomen,—beforeheisreadytolaythefirststoneofhisanti-slaverylife.
LETTERFROMWENDELLPHILLIPS,ESQ.
xviIwasgladtolearn,inyourstory,howearlythemostneglectedofGod'schildrenwakentoasenseoftheirrights,andoftheinjusticedonethem.
Experienceisakeenteacher;andlongbeforeyouhadmasteredyourABC,orknewwherethe"whitesails"oftheChesapeakewerebound,youbegan,Isee,togaugethewretchednessoftheslave,notbyhishungerandwant,notbyhislashesandtoil,butbythecruelandblightingdeathwhichgathersoverhissoul.
Inconnectionwiththis,thereisonecircumstancewhichmakesyourrecollectionspeculiarlyvaluable,andrendersyourearlyinsightthemoreremarkable.
Youcomefromthatpartofthecountrywherewearetoldslaveryappearswithitsfairestfeatures.
Letushear,then,whatitisatitsbestestate—gazeonitsbrightside,ifithasone;andthenimaginationmaytaskherpowerstoadddarklinestothepicture,asshetravelssouthwardtothat(forthecoloredman)ValleyoftheShadowofDeath,wheretheMississippisweepsalong.
Again,wehaveknownyoulong,andcanputthemostentireconfidenceinyourtruth,candor,andsincerity.
Everyonewhohasheardyouspeakhasfelt,and,Iamconfident,everyonewhoreadsyourbookwillfeel,persuadedthatyougivethemafairspecimenofthewholetruth.
Noone-sidedportrait,—nowholesalecomplaints,—butstrictjusticedone,wheneverindividualkindlinesshasneutralized,foramoment,thedeadlysystemwithwhichitwasstrangelyallied.
Youhavebeenwithus,too,someyears,andcanfairlycomparethetwilightofrights,whichyourraceenjoyattheNorth,withthat"noonofnight"underwhichtheylaborsouthofMasonandDixon'sline.
Telluswhether,afterall,thehalf-freecoloredmanofMassachusettsisworseoffthanthepamperedslaveofthericeswamps!
Inreadingyourlife,noonecansaythatwehaveunfairlypickedoutsomerarespecimensofcruelty.
WeknowthattheLETTERFROMWENDELLPHILLIPS,ESQ.
xviibitterdrops,whichevenyouhavedrainedfromthecup,arenoincidentalaggravations,noindividualills,butsuchasmustminglealwaysandnecessarilyinthelotofeveryslave.
Theyaretheessentialingredients,nottheoccasionalresults,ofthesystem.
Afterall,Ishallreadyourbookwithtremblingforyou.
Someyearsago,whenyouwerebeginningtotellmeyourrealnameandbirthplace,youmayrememberIstoppedyou,andpreferredtoremainignorantofall.
Withtheexceptionofavaguedescription,soIcontinued,tilltheotherday,whenyoureadmeyourmemoirs.
Ihardlyknew,atthetime,whethertothankyouornotforthesightofthem,whenIreflectedthatitwasstilldangerous,inMassachusetts,forhonestmentotelltheirnames!
Theysaythefathers,in1776,signedtheDeclarationofIndependencewiththehalterabouttheirnecks.
You,too,publishyourdeclarationoffreedomwithdangercompassingyouaround.
InallthebroadlandswhichtheConstitutionoftheUnitedStatesovershadows,thereisnosinglespot,—howevernarrowordesolate,—whereafugitiveslavecanplanthimselfandsay,"Iamsafe.
"ThewholearmoryofNorthernLawhasnoshieldforyou.
Iamfreetosaythat,inyourplace,IshouldthrowtheMS.
intothefire.
You,perhaps,maytellyourstoryinsafety,endearedasyouaretosomanywarmheartsbyraregifts,andastillrarerdevotionofthemtotheserviceofothers.
Butitwillbeowingonlytoyourlabors,andthefearlesseffortsofthosewho,tramplingthelawsandConstitutionofthecountryundertheirfeet,aredeterminedthattheywill"hidetheoutcast,"andthattheirhearthsshallbe,spiteofthelaw,anasylumfortheoppressed,if,sometimeorother,thehumblestmaystandinourstreets,andbearwitnessinsafetyagainstthecrueltiesofwhichhehasbeenthevictim.
LETTERFROMWENDELLPHILLIPS,ESQ.
xviiiYetitissadtothink,thattheseverythrobbingheartswhichwelcomeyourstory,andformyourbestsafeguardintellingit,areallbeatingcontrarytothe"statuteinsuchcasemadeandprovided.
"Goon,mydearfriend,tillyou,andthosewho,likeyou,havebeensaved,soasbyfire,fromthedarkprison-house,shallstereotypethesefree,illegalpulsesintostatutes;andNewEngland,cuttingloosefromablood-stainedUnion,shallgloryinbeingthehouseofrefugefortheoppressed;—tillwenolongermerely"hidetheoutcast,"ormakeameritofstandingidlybywhileheishuntedinourmidst;but,consecratinganewthesoilofthePilgrimsasanasylumfortheoppressed,proclaimourwelcometotheslavesoloudly,thatthetonesshallreacheveryhutintheCarolinas,andmakethebroken-heartedbondmanleapupatthethoughtofoldMassachusetts.
Godspeedtheday!
Tillthen,andever,Yourstruly,WENDELLPHILLIPS.
FREDERICKDOUGLASS.
NARRATIVEOFTHELIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS.
CHAPTERI.
IWASborninTuckahoe,nearHillsborough,andabouttwelvemilesfromEaston,inTalbotcounty,Maryland.
Ihavenoaccurateknowledgeofmyage,neverhavingseenanyauthenticrecordcontainingit.
Byfarthelargerpartoftheslavesknowaslittleoftheiragesashorsesknowoftheirs,anditisthewishofmostmasterswithinmyknowledgetokeeptheirslavesthusignorant.
Idonotremembertohaveevermetaslavewhocouldtellofhisbirthday.
Theyseldomcomenearertoitthanplanting-time,harvest-time,cherry-time,spring-time,orfall-time.
Awantofinformationconcerningmyownwasasourceofunhappinesstomeevenduringchildhood.
Thewhitechildrencouldtelltheirages.
IcouldnottellwhyIoughttobedeprivedofthesameprivilege.
Iwasnotallowedtomakeanyinquiriesofmymasterconcerningit.
Hedeemedallsuchinquiriesonthepartofaslaveimproperandimpertinent,andevidenceofarestlessspirit.
ThenearestestimateIcangivemakesmenowbetweentwenty-sevenandtwenty-eightyearsofage.
Icometothis,fromhearingmymastersay,sometimeduring1835,Iwasaboutseventeenyearsold.
MymotherwasnamedHarrietBailey.
ShewasthedaughterofIsaacandBetseyBailey,bothcolored,andquiteNARRATIVEOFTHE2dark.
Mymotherwasofadarkercomplexionthaneithermygrandmotherorgrandfather.
Myfatherwasawhiteman.
HewasadmittedtobesuchbyallIeverheardspeakofmyparentage.
Theopinionwasalsowhisperedthatmymasterwasmyfather;butofthecorrectnessofthisopinion,Iknownothing;themeansofknowingwaswithheldfromme.
MymotherandIwereseparatedwhenIwasbutaninfant—beforeIknewherasmymother.
Itisacommoncustom,inthepartofMarylandfromwhichIranaway,topartchildrenfromtheirmothersataveryearlyage.
Frequently,beforethechildhasreacheditstwelfthmonth,itsmotheristakenfromit,andhiredoutonsomefarmaconsiderabledistanceoff,andthechildisplacedunderthecareofanoldwoman,toooldforfieldlabor.
Forwhatthisseparationisdone,Idonotknow,unlessitbetohinderthedevelopmentofthechild'saffectiontowarditsmother,andtobluntanddestroythenaturalaffectionofthemotherforthechild.
Thisistheinevitableresult.
Ineversawmymother,toknowherassuch,morethanfourorfivetimesinmylife;andeachofthesetimeswasveryshortinduration,andatnight.
ShewashiredbyaMr.
Stewart,wholivedabouttwelvemilesfrommyhome.
Shemadeherjourneystoseemeinthenight,travellingthewholedistanceonfoot,aftertheperformanceofherday'swork.
Shewasafieldhand,andawhippingisthepenaltyofnotbeinginthefieldatsunrise,unlessaslavehasspecialpermissionfromhisorhermastertothecontrary—apermissionwhichtheyseldomget,andonethatgivestohimthatgivesittheproudnameofbeingakindmaster.
Idonotrecollectofeverseeingmymotherbythelightofday.
Shewaswithmeinthenight.
Shewouldliedownwithme,andgetmetosleep,butlongbeforeIwakedshewasgone.
Verylittlecommunicationevertookplacebetweenus.
Deathsoonendedwhatlittlewecouldhavewhileshelived,andLIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS3withitherhardshipsandsuffering.
ShediedwhenIwasaboutsevenyearsold,ononeofmymaster'sfarms,nearLee'sMill.
Iwasnotallowedtobepresentduringherillness,atherdeath,orburial.
ShewasgonelongbeforeIknewanythingaboutit.
Neverhavingenjoyed,toanyconsiderableextent,hersoothingpresence,hertenderandwatchfulcare,IreceivedthetidingsofherdeathwithmuchthesameemotionsIshouldhaveprobablyfeltatthedeathofastranger.
Calledthussuddenlyaway,sheleftmewithouttheslightestintimationofwhomyfatherwas.
Thewhisperthatmymasterwasmyfather,mayormaynotbetrue;and,trueorfalse,itisofbutlittleconsequencetomypurposewhilstthefactremains,inallitsglaringodiousness,thatslaveholdershaveordained,andbylawestablished,thatthechildrenofslavewomenshallinallcasesfollowtheconditionoftheirmothers;andthisisdonetooobviouslytoadministertotheirownlusts,andmakeagratificationoftheirwickeddesiresprofitableaswellaspleasurable;forbythiscunningarrangement,theslaveholder,incasesnotafew,sustainstohisslavesthedoublerelationofmasterandfather.
Iknowofsuchcases;anditisworthyofremarkthatsuchslavesinvariablysuffergreaterhardships,andhavemoretocontendwith,thanothers.
Theyare,inthefirstplace,aconstantoffencetotheirmistress.
Sheiseverdisposedtofindfaultwiththem;theycanseldomdoanythingtopleaseher;sheisneverbetterpleasedthanwhensheseesthemunderthelash,especiallywhenshesuspectsherhusbandofshowingtohismulattochildrenfavorswhichhewithholdsfromhisblackslaves.
Themasterisfrequentlycompelledtosellthisclassofhisslaves,outofdeferencetothefeelingsofhiswhitewife;and,cruelasthedeedmaystrikeanyonetobe,foramantosellhisownchildrentohumanflesh-mongers,itisoftenthedictateofhumanityforhimtodoso;for,unlesshedoesthis,hemustNARRATIVEOFTHE4notonlywhipthemhimself,butmuststandbyandseeonewhitesontieuphisbrother,ofbutfewshadesdarkercomplexionthanhimself,andplythegorylashtohisnakedback;andifhelisponewordofdisapproval,itissetdowntohisparentalpartiality,andonlymakesabadmatterworse,bothforhimselfandtheslavewhomhewouldprotectanddefend.
Everyyearbringswithitmultitudesofthisclassofslaves.
Itwasdoubtlessinconsequenceofaknowledgeofthisfact,thatonegreatstatesmanofthesouthpredictedthedownfallofslaverybytheinevitablelawsofpopulation.
Whetherthisprophecyiseverfulfilledornot,itisneverthelessplainthataverydifferent-lookingclassofpeoplearespringingupatthesouth,andarenowheldinslavery,fromthoseoriginallybroughttothiscountryfromAfrica;andiftheirincreasedonoothergood,itwilldoawaytheforceoftheargument,thatGodcursedHam,andthereforeAmericanslaveryisright.
IfthelinealdescendantsofHamarealonetobescripturallyenslaved,itiscertainthatslaveryatthesouthmustsoonbecomeunscriptural;forthousandsareusheredintotheworld,annually,who,likemyself,owetheirexistencetowhitefathers,andthosefathersmostfrequentlytheirownmasters.
Ihavehadtwomasters.
Myfirstmaster'snamewasAnthony.
Idonotrememberhisfirstname.
HewasgenerallycalledCaptainAnthony—atitlewhich,Ipresume,heacquiredbysailingacraftontheChesapeakeBay.
Hewasnotconsideredarichslaveholder.
Heownedtwoorthreefarms,andaboutthirtyslaves.
Hisfarmsandslaveswereunderthecareofanoverseer.
Theoverseer'snamewasPlummer.
Mr.
Plummerwasamiserabledrunkard,aprofaneswearer,andasavagemonster.
Healwayswentarmedwithacowskinandaheavycudgel.
Ihaveknownhimtocutandslashthewomen'sheadssohorribly,thatevenmasterwouldbeenragedathiscruelty,andwouldthreatentowhiphimifhedidnotmindLIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS5himself.
Master,however,wasnotahumaneslaveholder.
Itrequiredextraordinarybarbarityonthepartofanoverseertoaffecthim.
Hewasacruelman,hardenedbyalonglifeofslaveholding.
Hewouldattimesseemtotakegreatpleasureinwhippingaslave.
Ihaveoftenbeenawakenedatthedawnofdaybythemostheart-rendingshrieksofanownauntofmine,whomheusedtotieuptoajoist,andwhipuponhernakedbacktillshewasliterallycoveredwithblood.
Nowords,notears,noprayers,fromhisgoryvictim,seemedtomovehisironheartfromitsbloodypurpose.
Theloudershescreamed,theharderhewhipped;andwherethebloodranfastest,therehewhippedlongest.
Hewouldwhiphertomakeherscream,andwhiphertomakeherhush;andnotuntilovercomebyfatigue,wouldheceasetoswingtheblood-clottedcowskin.
IrememberthefirsttimeIeverwitnessedthishorribleexhibition.
Iwasquiteachild,butIwellrememberit.
InevershallforgetitwhilstIrememberanything.
Itwasthefirstofalongseriesofsuchoutrages,ofwhichIwasdoomedtobeawitnessandaparticipant.
Itstruckmewithawfulforce.
Itwastheblood-stainedgate,theentrancetothehellofslavery,throughwhichIwasabouttopass.
Itwasamostterriblespectacle.
IwishIcouldcommittopaperthefeelingswithwhichIbeheldit.
ThisoccurrencetookplaceverysoonafterIwenttolivewithmyoldmaster,andunderthefollowingcircumstances.
AuntHesterwentoutonenight,—whereorforwhatIdonotknow,—andhappenedtobeabsentwhenmymasterdesiredherpresence.
Hehadorderedhernottogooutevenings,andwarnedherthatshemustneverlethimcatchherincompanywithayoungman,whowaspayingattentiontoherbelongingtoColonelLloyd.
Theyoungman'snamewasNedRoberts,generallycalledLloyd'sNed.
Whymasterwassocarefulofher,maybesafelylefttoconjecture.
Shewasawomanofnobleform,andofgracefulproportions,havingveryfewequals,andNARRATIVEOFTHE6fewersuperiors,inpersonalappearance,amongthecoloredorwhitewomenofourneighborhood.
AuntHesterhadnotonlydisobeyedhisordersingoingout,buthadbeenfoundincompanywithLloyd'sNed;whichcircumstance,Ifound,fromwhathesaidwhilewhippingher,wasthechiefoffence.
Hadhebeenamanofpuremoralshimself,hemighthavebeenthoughtinterestedinprotectingtheinnocenceofmyaunt;butthosewhoknewhimwillnotsuspecthimofanysuchvirtue.
BeforehecommencedwhippingAuntHester,hetookherintothekitchen,andstrippedherfromnecktowaist,leavingherneck,shoulders,andback,entirelynaked.
Hethentoldhertocrossherhands,callingheratthesametimead——db——h.
Aftercrossingherhands,hetiedthemwithastrongrope,andledhertoastoolunderalargehookinthejoist,putinforthepurpose.
Hemadehergetuponthestool,andtiedherhandstothehook.
Shenowstoodfairforhisinfernalpurpose.
Herarmswerestretchedupattheirfulllength,sothatshestoodupontheendsofhertoes.
Hethensaidtoher,"Now,youd——db——h,I'lllearnyouhowtodisobeymyorders!
"andafterrollinguphissleeves,hecommencedtolayontheheavycowskin,andsoonthewarm,redblood(amidheart-rendingshrieksfromher,andhorridoathsfromhim)camedrippingtothefloor.
Iwassoterrifiedandhorror-strickenatthesight,thatIhidmyselfinacloset,anddarednotventureouttilllongafterthebloodytransactionwasover.
Iexpecteditwouldbemyturnnext.
Itwasallnewtome.
Ihadneverseenanythinglikeitbefore.
Ihadalwayslivedwithmygrandmotherontheoutskirtsoftheplantation,whereshewasputtoraisethechildrenoftheyoungerwomen.
Ihadthereforebeen,untilnow,outofthewayofthebloodyscenesthatoftenoccurredontheplantation.
LIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS7CHAPTERII.
MYmaster'sfamilyconsistedoftwosons,AndrewandRichard;onedaughter,Lucretia,andherhusband,CaptainThomasAuld.
Theylivedinonehouse,uponthehomeplantationofColonelEdwardLloyd.
MymasterwasColonelLloyd'sclerkandsuperintendent.
Hewaswhatmightbecalledtheoverseeroftheoverseers.
Ispenttwoyearsofchildhoodonthisplantationinmyoldmaster'sfamily.
ItwasherethatIwitnessedthebloodytransactionrecordedinthefirstchapter;andasIreceivedmyfirstimpressionsofslaveryonthisplantation,Iwillgivesomedescriptionofit,andofslaveryasitthereexisted.
TheplantationisabouttwelvemilesnorthofEaston,inTalbotcounty,andissituatedontheborderofMilesRiver.
Theprincipalproductsraiseduponitweretobacco,corn,andwheat.
Thesewereraisedingreatabundance;sothat,withtheproductsofthisandtheotherfarmsbelongingtohim,hewasabletokeepinalmostconstantemploymentalargesloop,incarryingthemtomarketatBaltimore.
ThissloopwasnamedSallyLloyd,inhonorofoneofthecolonel'sdaughters.
Mymaster'sson-in-law,CaptainAuld,wasmasterofthevessel;shewasotherwisemannedbythecolonel'sownslaves.
TheirnameswerePeter,Isaac,Rich,andJake.
Thesewereesteemedveryhighlybytheotherslaves,andlookeduponastheprivilegedonesoftheplantation;foritwasnosmallaffair,intheeyesoftheslaves,tobeallowedtoseeBaltimore.
ColonelLloydkeptfromthreetofourhundredslavesonhishomeplantation,andownedalargenumbermoreontheneighboringfarmsbelongingtohim.
ThenamesofthefarmsnearesttothehomeplantationwereWyeTownandNewNARRATIVEOFTHE8Design.
"WyeTown"wasundertheoverseershipofamannamedNoahWillis.
NewDesignwasundertheoverseershipofaMr.
Townsend.
Theoverseersofthese,andalltherestofthefarms,numberingovertwenty,receivedadviceanddirectionfromthemanagersofthehomeplantation.
Thiswasthegreatbusinessplace.
Itwastheseatofgovernmentforthewholetwentyfarms.
Alldisputesamongtheoverseersweresettledhere.
Ifaslavewasconvictedofanyhighmisdemeanor,becameunmanageable,orevincedadeterminationtorunaway,hewasbroughtimmediatelyhere,severelywhipped,putonboardthesloop,carriedtoBaltimore,andsoldtoAustinWoolfolk,orsomeotherslave-trader,asawarningtotheslavesremaining.
Here,too,theslavesofalltheotherfarmsreceivedtheirmonthlyallowanceoffood,andtheiryearlyclothing.
Themenandwomenslavesreceived,astheirmonthlyallowanceoffood,eightpoundsofpork,oritsequivalentinfish,andonebushelofcornmeal.
Theiryearlyclothingconsistedoftwocoarselinenshirts,onepairoflinentrousers,liketheshirts,onejacket,onepairoftrousersforwinter,madeofcoarsenegrocloth,onepairofstockings,andonepairofshoes;thewholeofwhichcouldnothavecostmorethansevendollars.
Theallowanceoftheslavechildrenwasgiventotheirmothers,ortheoldwomenhavingthecareofthem.
Thechildrenunabletoworkinthefieldhadneithershoes,stockings,jackets,nortrousers,giventothem;theirclothingconsistedoftwocoarselinenshirtsperyear.
Whenthesefailedthem,theywentnakeduntilthenextallowance-day.
Childrenfromseventotenyearsold,ofbothsexes,almostnaked,mightbeseenatallseasonsoftheyear.
Therewerenobedsgiventheslaves,unlessonecoarseblanketbeconsideredsuch,andnonebutthemenandwomenhadthese.
This,however,isnotconsideredaverygreatprivation.
Theyfindlessdifficultyfromthewantofbeds,thanLIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS9fromthewantoftimetosleep;forwhentheirday'sworkinthefieldisdone,themostofthemhavingtheirwashing,mending,andcookingtodo,andhavingfewornoneoftheordinaryfacilitiesfordoingeitherofthese,verymanyoftheirsleepinghoursareconsumedinpreparingforthefieldthecomingday;andwhenthisisdone,oldandyoung,maleandfemale,marriedandsingle,dropdownsidebyside,ononecommonbed,—thecold,dampfloor,—eachcoveringhimselforherselfwiththeirmiserableblankets;andheretheysleeptilltheyaresummonedtothefieldbythedriver'shorn.
Atthesoundofthis,allmustrise,andbeofftothefield.
Theremustbenohalting;everyonemustbeathisorherpost;andwoebetidesthemwhohearnotthismorningsummonstothefield;foriftheyarenotawakenedbythesenseofhearing,theyarebythesenseoffeeling:noagenorsexfindsanyfavor.
Mr.
Severe,theoverseer,usedtostandbythedoorofthequarter,armedwithalargehickorystickandheavycowskin,readytowhipanyonewhowassounfortunateasnottohear,or,fromanyothercause,waspreventedfrombeingreadytostartforthefieldatthesoundofthehorn.
Mr.
Severewasrightlynamed:hewasacruelman.
Ihaveseenhimwhipawoman,causingthebloodtorunhalfanhouratthetime;andthis,too,inthemidstofhercryingchildren,pleadingfortheirmother'srelease.
Heseemedtotakepleasureinmanifestinghisfiendishbarbarity.
Addedtohiscruelty,hewasaprofaneswearer.
Itwasenoughtochillthebloodandstiffenthehairofanordinarymantohearhimtalk.
Scarceasentenceescapedhimbutthatwascommencedorconcludedbysomehorridoath.
Thefieldwastheplacetowitnesshiscrueltyandprofanity.
Hispresencemadeitboththefieldofbloodandofblasphemy.
Fromtherisingtillthegoingdownofthesun,hewascursing,raving,cutting,andslashingamongtheslavesofthefield,inthemostfrightfulmanner.
Hiscareerwasshort.
HediedverysoonafterIwenttoColonelLloyd's;andhediedasNARRATIVEOFTHE10helived,uttering,withhisdyinggroans,bittercursesandhorridoaths.
Hisdeathwasregardedbytheslavesastheresultofamercifulprovidence.
Mr.
Severe'splacewasfilledbyaMr.
Hopkins.
Hewasaverydifferentman.
Hewaslesscruel,lessprofane,andmadelessnoise,thanMr.
Severe.
Hiscoursewascharacterizedbynoextraordinarydemonstrationsofcruelty.
Hewhipped,butseemedtotakenopleasureinit.
Hewascalledbytheslavesagoodoverseer.
ThehomeplantationofColonelLloydworetheappearanceofacountryvillage.
Allthemechanicaloperationsforallthefarmswereperformedhere.
Theshoemakingandmending,theblacksmithing,cartwrighting,coopering,weaving,andgrain-grinding,wereallperformedbytheslavesonthehomeplantation.
Thewholeplaceworeabusiness-likeaspectveryunliketheneighboringfarms.
Thenumberofhouses,too,conspiredtogiveitadvantageovertheneighboringfarms.
ItwascalledbytheslavestheGreatHouseFarm.
Fewprivilegeswereesteemedhigher,bytheslavesoftheout-farms,thanthatofbeingselectedtodoerrandsattheGreatHouseFarm.
Itwasassociatedintheirmindswithgreatness.
ArepresentativecouldnotbeprouderofhiselectiontoaseatintheAmericanCongress,thanaslaveononeoftheout-farmswouldbeofhiselectiontodoerrandsattheGreatHouseFarm.
Theyregardeditasevidenceofgreatconfidencereposedinthembytheiroverseers;anditwasonthisaccount,aswellasaconstantdesiretobeoutofthefieldfromunderthedriver'slash,thattheyesteemeditahighprivilege,oneworthcarefullivingfor.
Hewascalledthesmartestandmosttrustyfellow,whohadthishonorconferreduponhimthemostfrequently.
Thecompetitorsforthisofficesoughtasdiligentlytopleasetheiroverseers,astheoffice-seekersinthepoliticalpartiesseektopleaseanddeceivethepeople.
ThesametraitsofcharactermightbeseenLIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS11inColonelLloyd'sslaves,asareseenintheslavesofthepoliticalparties.
TheslavesselectedtogototheGreatHouseFarm,forthemonthlyallowanceforthemselvesandtheirfellow-slaves,werepeculiarlyenthusiastic.
Whileontheirway,theywouldmakethedenseoldwoods,formilesaround,reverberatewiththeirwildsongs,revealingatoncethehighestjoyandthedeepestsadness.
Theywouldcomposeandsingastheywentalong,consultingneithertimenortune.
Thethoughtthatcameup,cameout—ifnotintheword,inthesound;—andasfrequentlyintheoneasintheother.
Theywouldsometimessingthemostpatheticsentimentinthemostrapturoustone,andthemostrapturoussentimentinthemostpathetictone.
IntoalloftheirsongstheywouldmanagetoweavesomethingoftheGreatHouseFarm.
Especiallywouldtheydothis,whenleavinghome.
Theywouldthensingmostexultinglythefollowingwords:—"IamgoingawaytotheGreatHouseFarm!
O,yea!
O,yea!
O!
"Thistheywouldsing,asachorus,towordswhichtomanywouldseemunmeaningjargon,butwhich,nevertheless,werefullofmeaningtothemselves.
Ihavesometimesthoughtthatthemerehearingofthosesongswoulddomoretoimpresssomemindswiththehorriblecharacterofslavery,thanthereadingofwholevolumesofphilosophyonthesubjectcoulddo.
Ididnot,whenaslave,understandthedeepmeaningofthoserudeandapparentlyincoherentsongs.
Iwasmyselfwithinthecircle;sothatIneithersawnorheardasthosewithoutmightseeandhear.
Theytoldataleofwoewhichwasthenaltogetherbeyondmyfeeblecomprehension;theyweretonesloud,long,anddeep;theybreathedtheprayerandcomplaintofsoulsNARRATIVEOFTHE12boilingoverwiththebitterestanguish.
Everytonewasatestimonyagainstslavery,andaprayertoGodfordeliverancefromchains.
Thehearingofthosewildnotesalwaysdepressedmyspirit,andfilledmewithineffablesadness.
Ihavefrequentlyfoundmyselfintearswhilehearingthem.
Themererecurrencetothosesongs,evennow,afflictsme;andwhileIamwritingtheselines,anexpressionoffeelinghasalreadyfounditswaydownmycheek.
TothosesongsItracemyfirstglimmeringconceptionofthedehumanizingcharacterofslavery.
Icannevergetridofthatconception.
Thosesongsstillfollowme,todeepenmyhatredofslavery,andquickenmysympathiesformybrethreninbonds.
Ifanyonewishestobeimpressedwiththesoul-killingeffectsofslavery,lethimgotoColonelLloyd'splantation,and,onallowance-day,placehimselfinthedeeppinewoods,andtherelethim,insilence,analyzethesoundsthatshallpassthroughthechambersofhissoul,—andifheisnotthusimpressed,itwillonlybebecause"thereisnofleshinhisobdurateheart.
"Ihaveoftenbeenutterlyastonished,sinceIcametothenorth,tofindpersonswhocouldspeakofthesinging,amongslaves,asevidenceoftheircontentmentandhappiness.
Itisimpossibletoconceiveofagreatermistake.
Slavessingmostwhentheyaremostunhappy.
Thesongsoftheslaverepresentthesorrowsofhisheart;andheisrelievedbythem,onlyasanachingheartisrelievedbyitstears.
Atleast,suchismyexperience.
Ihaveoftensungtodrownmysorrow,butseldomtoexpressmyhappiness.
Cryingforjoy,andsingingforjoy,werealikeuncommontomewhileinthejawsofslavery.
Thesingingofamancastawayuponadesolateislandmightbeasappropriatelyconsideredasevidenceofcontentmentandhappiness,asthesingingofaslave;thesongsoftheoneandoftheotherarepromptedbythesameemotion.
LIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS13CHAPTERIII.
COLONELLLOYDkeptalargeandfinelycultivatedgarden,whichaffordedalmostconstantemploymentforfourmen,besidesthechiefgardener,(Mr.
M'Durmond.
)Thisgardenwasprobablythegreatestattractionoftheplace.
Duringthesummermonths,peoplecamefromfarandnear—fromBaltimore,Easton,andAnnapolis—toseeit.
Itaboundedinfruitsofalmosteverydescription,fromthehardyappleofthenorthtothedelicateorangeofthesouth.
Thisgardenwasnottheleastsourceoftroubleontheplantation.
Itsexcellentfruitwasquiteatemptationtothehungryswarmsofboys,aswellastheolderslaves,belongingtothecolonel,fewofwhomhadthevirtueorthevicetoresistit.
Scarcelyadaypassed,duringthesummer,butthatsomeslavehadtotakethelashforstealingfruit.
Thecolonelhadtoresorttoallkindsofstratagemstokeephisslavesoutofthegarden.
Thelastandmostsuccessfulonewasthatoftarringhisfenceallaround;afterwhich,ifaslavewascaughtwithanytaruponhisperson,itwasdeemedsufficientproofthathehadeitherbeenintothegarden,orhadtriedtogetin.
Ineithercase,hewasseverelywhippedbythechiefgardener.
Thisplanworkedwell;theslavesbecameasfearfuloftarasofthelash.
Theyseemedtorealizetheimpossibilityoftouchingtarwithoutbeingdefiled.
Thecolonelalsokeptasplendidridingequipage.
Hisstableandcarriage-housepresentedtheappearanceofsomeofourlargecityliveryestablishments.
Hishorseswereofthefinestformandnoblestblood.
Hiscarriage-housecontainedthreesplendidcoaches,threeorfourgigs,besidesdearbornsandbarouchesofthemostfashionablestyle.
NARRATIVEOFTHE14Thisestablishmentwasunderthecareoftwoslaves—oldBarneyandyoungBarney—fatherandson.
Toattendtothisestablishmentwastheirsolework.
Butitwasbynomeansaneasyemployment;forinnothingwasColonelLloydmoreparticularthaninthemanagementofhishorses.
Theslightestinattentiontothesewasunpardonable,andwasvisiteduponthose,underwhosecaretheywereplaced,withtheseverestpunishment;noexcusecouldshieldthem,ifthecolonelonlysuspectedanywantofattentiontohishorses—asuppositionwhichhefrequentlyindulged,andonewhich,ofcourse,madetheofficeofoldandyoungBarneyaverytryingone.
Theyneverknewwhentheyweresafefrompunishment.
Theywerefrequentlywhippedwhenleastdeserving,andescapedwhippingwhenmostdeservingit.
Everythingdependeduponthelooksofthehorses,andthestateofColonelLloyd'sownmindwhenhishorseswerebroughttohimforuse.
Ifahorsedidnotmovefastenough,orholdhisheadhighenough,itwasowingtosomefaultofhiskeepers.
Itwaspainfultostandnearthestable-door,andhearthevariouscomplaintsagainstthekeeperswhenahorsewastakenoutforuse.
"Thishorsehasnothadproperattention.
Hehasnotbeensufficientlyrubbedandcurried,orhehasnotbeenproperlyfed;hisfoodwastoowetortoodry;hegotittoosoonortoolate;hewastoohotortoocold;hehadtoomuchhay,andnotenoughofgrain;orhehadtoomuchgrain,andnotenoughofhay;insteadofoldBarney'sattendingtothehorse,hehadveryimproperlyleftittohisson.
"Toallthesecomplaints,nomatterhowunjust,theslavemustanswerneveraword.
ColonelLloydcouldnotbrookanycontradictionfromaslave.
Whenhespoke,aslavemuststand,listen,andtremble;andsuchwasliterallythecase.
IhaveseenColonelLloydmakeoldBarney,amanbetweenfiftyandsixtyyearsofage,uncoverhisbaldhead,kneeldownuponthecold,dampground,andreceiveuponhisnakedandtoil-wornLIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS15shouldersmorethanthirtylashesatthetime.
ColonelLloydhadthreesons—Edward,Murray,andDaniel,—andthreesons-in-law,Mr.
Winder,Mr.
Nicholson,andMr.
Lowndes.
AlloftheselivedattheGreatHouseFarm,andenjoyedtheluxuryofwhippingtheservantswhentheypleased,fromoldBarneydowntoWilliamWilkes,thecoach-driver.
IhaveseenWindermakeoneofthehouse-servantsstandofffromhimasuitabledistancetobetouchedwiththeendofhiswhip,andateverystrokeraisegreatridgesuponhisback.
TodescribethewealthofColonelLloydwouldbealmostequaltodescribingtherichesofJob.
Hekeptfromtentofifteenhouse-servants.
Hewassaidtoownathousandslaves,andIthinkthisestimatequitewithinthetruth.
ColonelLloydownedsomanythathedidnotknowthemwhenhesawthem;nordidalltheslavesoftheout-farmsknowhim.
Itisreportedofhim,that,whileridingalongtheroadoneday,hemetacoloredman,andaddressedhimintheusualmannerofspeakingtocoloredpeopleonthepublichighwaysofthesouth:"Well,boy,whomdoyoubelongto""ToColonelLloyd,"repliedtheslave.
"Well,doesthecoloneltreatyouwell""No,sir,"wasthereadyreply.
"What,doesheworkyoutoohard""Yes,sir.
""Well,don'thegiveyouenoughtoeat""Yes,sir,hegivesmeenough,suchasitis.
"Thecolonel,afterascertainingwheretheslavebelonged,rodeon;themanalsowentonabouthisbusiness,notdreamingthathehadbeenconversingwithhismaster.
Hethought,said,andheardnothingmoreofthematter,untiltwoorthreeweeksafterwards.
Thepoormanwastheninformedbyhisoverseerthat,forhavingfoundfaultwithhismaster,hewasnowtobesoldtoaGeorgiatrader.
Hewasimmediatelychainedandhandcuffed;andthus,withoutamoment'swarning,hewassnatchedaway,andforeversundered,fromhisfamilyandfriends,byahandmoreunrelentingthandeath.
ThisistheNARRATIVEOFTHE16penaltyoftellingthetruth,oftellingthesimpletruth,inanswertoaseriesofplainquestions.
Itispartlyinconsequenceofsuchfacts,thatslaves,wheninquiredofastotheirconditionandthecharacteroftheirmasters,almostuniversallysaytheyarecontented,andthattheirmastersarekind.
Theslaveholdershavebeenknowntosendinspiesamongtheirslaves,toascertaintheirviewsandfeelingsinregardtotheircondition.
Thefrequencyofthishashadtheeffecttoestablishamongtheslavesthemaxim,thatastilltonguemakesawisehead.
Theysuppressthetruthratherthantaketheconsequencesoftellingit,andinsodoingprovethemselvesapartofthehumanfamily.
Iftheyhaveanythingtosayoftheirmasters,itisgenerallyintheirmasters'favor,especiallywhenspeakingtoanuntriedman.
Ihavebeenfrequentlyasked,whenaslave,ifIhadakindmaster,anddonotrememberevertohavegivenanegativeanswer;nordidI,inpursuingthiscourse,considermyselfasutteringwhatwasabsolutelyfalse;forIalwaysmeasuredthekindnessofmymasterbythestandardofkindnesssetupamongslaveholdersaroundus.
Moreover,slavesarelikeotherpeople,andimbibeprejudicesquitecommontoothers.
Theythinktheirownbetterthanthatofothers.
Many,undertheinfluenceofthisprejudice,thinktheirownmastersarebetterthanthemastersofotherslaves;andthis,too,insomecases,whentheveryreverseistrue.
Indeed,itisnotuncommonforslaveseventofalloutandquarrelamongthemselvesabouttherelativegoodnessoftheirmasters,eachcontendingforthesuperiorgoodnessofhisownoverthatoftheothers.
Attheverysametime,theymutuallyexecratetheirmasterswhenviewedseparately.
Itwassoonourplantation.
WhenColonelLloyd'sslavesmettheslavesofJacobJepson,theyseldompartedwithoutaquarrelabouttheirmasters;ColonelLloyd'sslavescontendingthathewastherichest,andMr.
Jepson'sslavesthathewasthesmartest,andLIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS17mostofaman.
ColonelLloyd'sslaveswouldboasthisabilitytobuyandsellJacobJepson.
Mr.
Jepson'sslaveswouldboasthisabilitytowhipColonelLloyd.
Thesequarrelswouldalmostalwaysendinafightbetweentheparties,andthosethatwhippedweresupposedtohavegainedthepointatissue.
Theyseemedtothinkthatthegreatnessoftheirmasterswastransferabletothemselves.
Itwasconsideredasbeingbadenoughtobeaslave;buttobeapoorman'sslavewasdeemedadisgraceindeed!
NARRATIVEOFTHE18CHAPTERIV.
MR.
HOPKINSremainedbutashorttimeintheofficeofoverseer.
Whyhiscareerwassoshort,Idonotknow,butsupposehelackedthenecessaryseveritytosuitColonelLloyd.
Mr.
HopkinswassucceededbyMr.
AustinGore,amanpossessing,inaneminentdegree,allthosetraitsofcharacterindispensabletowhatiscalledafirst-rateoverseer.
Mr.
GorehadservedColonelLloyd,inthecapacityofoverseer,upononeoftheout-farms,andhadshownhimselfworthyofthehighstationofoverseeruponthehomeorGreatHouseFarm.
Mr.
Gorewasproud,ambitious,andpersevering.
Hewasartful,cruel,andobdurate.
Hewasjustthemanforsuchaplace,anditwasjusttheplaceforsuchaman.
Itaffordedscopeforthefullexerciseofallhispowers,andheseemedtobeperfectlyathomeinit.
Hewasoneofthosewhocouldtorturetheslightestlook,word,orgesture,onthepartoftheslave,intoimpudence,andwouldtreatitaccordingly.
Theremustbenoansweringbacktohim;noexplanationwasallowedaslave,showinghimselftohavebeenwrongfullyaccused.
Mr.
Goreactedfullyuptothemaximlaiddownbyslaveholders,—"Itisbetterthatadozenslavesshouldsufferunderthelash,thanthattheoverseershouldbeconvicted,inthepresenceoftheslaves,ofhavingbeenatfault.
"Nomatterhowinnocentaslavemightbe—itavailedhimnothing,whenaccusedbyMr.
Goreofanymisdemeanor.
Tobeaccusedwastobeconvicted,andtobeconvictedwastobepunished;theonealwaysfollowingtheotherwithimmutablecertainty.
Toescapepunishmentwastoescapeaccusation;andfewslaveshadthefortunetodoeither,undertheoverseershipofMr.
Gore.
HewasjustproudenoughLIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS19todemandthemostdebasinghomageoftheslave,andquiteservileenoughtocrouch,himself,atthefeetofthemaster.
Hewasambitiousenoughtobecontentedwithnothingshortofthehighestrankofoverseers,andperseveringenoughtoreachtheheightofhisambition.
Hewascruelenoughtoinflicttheseverestpunishment,artfulenoughtodescendtothelowesttrickery,andobdurateenoughtobeinsensibletothevoiceofareprovingconscience.
Hewas,ofalltheoverseers,themostdreadedbytheslaves.
Hispresencewaspainful;hiseyeflashedconfusion;andseldomwashissharp,shrillvoiceheard,withoutproducinghorrorandtremblingintheirranks.
Mr.
Gorewasagraveman,and,thoughayoungman,heindulgedinnojokes,saidnofunnywords,seldomsmiled.
Hiswordswereinperfectkeepingwithhislooks,andhislookswereinperfectkeepingwithhiswords.
Overseerswillsometimesindulgeinawittyword,evenwiththeslaves;notsowithMr.
Gore.
Hespokebuttocommand,andcommandedbuttobeobeyed;hedealtsparinglywithhiswords,andbountifullywithhiswhip,neverusingtheformerwherethelatterwouldansweraswell.
Whenhewhipped,heseemedtodosofromasenseofduty,andfearednoconsequences.
Hedidnothingreluctantly,nomatterhowdisagreeable;alwaysathispost,neverinconsistent.
Heneverpromisedbuttofulfil.
Hewas,inaword,amanofthemostinflexiblefirmnessandstone-likecoolness.
Hissavagebarbaritywasequalledonlybytheconsummatecoolnesswithwhichhecommittedthegrossestandmostsavagedeedsupontheslavesunderhischarge.
Mr.
GoreonceundertooktowhiponeofColonelLloyd'sslaves,bythenameofDemby.
HehadgivenDembybutfewstripes,when,togetridofthescourging,heranandplungedhimselfintoacreek,andstoodthereatthedepthofhisshoulders,refusingtocomeout.
Mr.
Goretoldhimthathewouldgivehimthreecalls,andNARRATIVEOFTHE20that,ifhedidnotcomeoutatthethirdcall,hewouldshoothim.
Thefirstcallwasgiven.
Dembymadenoresponse,butstoodhisground.
Thesecondandthirdcallsweregivenwiththesameresult.
Mr.
Gorethen,withoutconsultationordeliberationwithanyone,notevengivingDembyanadditionalcall,raisedhismuskettohisface,takingdeadlyaimathisstandingvictim,andinaninstantpoorDembywasnomore.
Hismangledbodysankoutofsight,andbloodandbrainsmarkedthewaterwherehehadstood.
Athrillofhorrorflashedthrougheverysoulupontheplantation,exceptingMr.
Gore.
Healoneseemedcoolandcollected.
HewasaskedbyColonelLloydandmyoldmaster,whyheresortedtothisextraordinaryexpedient.
Hisreplywas,(aswellasIcanremember,)thatDembyhadbecomeunmanageable.
Hewassettingadangerousexampletotheotherslaves,—onewhich,ifsufferedtopasswithoutsomesuchdemonstrationonhispart,wouldfinallyleadtothetotalsubversionofallruleandorderupontheplantation.
Hearguedthatifoneslaverefusedtobecorrected,andescapedwithhislife,theotherslaveswouldsooncopytheexample;theresultofwhichwouldbe,thefreedomoftheslaves,andtheenslavementofthewhites.
Mr.
Gore'sdefencewassatisfactory.
Hewascontinuedinhisstationasoverseeruponthehomeplantation.
Hisfameasanoverseerwentabroad.
Hishorridcrimewasnotevensubmittedtojudicialinvestigation.
Itwascommittedinthepresenceofslaves,andtheyofcoursecouldneitherinstituteasuit,nortestifyagainsthim;andthustheguiltyperpetratorofoneofthebloodiestandmostfoulmurdersgoesunwhippedofjustice,anduncensuredbythecommunityinwhichhelives.
Mr.
GorelivedinSt.
Michael's,Talbotcounty,Maryland,whenIleftthere;andifheisstillalive,heveryprobablylivestherenow;andifso,heisnow,ashewasthen,ashighlyesteemedLIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS21andasmuchrespectedasthoughhisguiltysoulhadnotbeenstainedwithhisbrother'sblood.
IspeakadvisedlywhenIsaythis,—thatkillingaslave,oranycoloredperson,inTalbotcounty,Maryland,isnottreatedasacrime,eitherbythecourtsorthecommunity.
Mr.
ThomasLanman,ofSt.
Michael's,killedtwoslaves,oneofwhomhekilledwithahatchet,byknockinghisbrainsout.
Heusedtoboastofthecommissionoftheawfulandbloodydeed.
Ihaveheardhimdosolaughingly,saying,amongotherthings,thathewastheonlybenefactorofhiscountryinthecompany,andthatwhenotherswoulddoasmuchashehaddone,weshouldberelievedof"thed——dniggers.
"ThewifeofMr.
GilesHicks,livingbutashortdistancefromwhereIusedtolive,murderedmywife'scousin,ayounggirlbetweenfifteenandsixteenyearsofage,manglingherpersoninthemosthorriblemanner,breakinghernoseandbreastbonewithastick,sothatthepoorgirlexpiredinafewhoursafterward.
Shewasimmediatelyburied,buthadnotbeeninheruntimelygravebutafewhoursbeforeshewastakenupandexaminedbythecoroner,whodecidedthatshehadcometoherdeathbyseverebeating.
Theoffenceforwhichthisgirlwasthusmurderedwasthis:—ShehadbeensetthatnighttomindMrs.
Hicks'sbaby,andduringthenightshefellasleep,andthebabycried.
She,havinglostherrestforseveralnightsprevious,didnothearthecrying.
TheywerebothintheroomwithMrs.
Hicks.
Mrs.
Hicks,findingthegirlslowtomove,jumpedfromherbed,seizedanoakstickofwoodbythefireplace,andwithitbrokethegirl'snoseandbreastbone,andthusendedherlife.
Iwillnotsaythatthismosthorridmurderproducednosensationinthecommunity.
Itdidproducesensation,butnotenoughtobringthemurderesstopunishment.
Therewasawarrantissuedforherarrest,butitwasneverserved.
ThussheescapednotNARRATIVEOFTHE22onlypunishment,buteventhepainofbeingarraignedbeforeacourtforherhorridcrime.
WhilstIamdetailingbloodydeedswhichtookplaceduringmystayonColonelLloyd'splantation,Iwillbrieflynarrateanother,whichoccurredaboutthesametimeasthemurderofDembybyMr.
Gore.
ColonelLloyd'sslaveswereinthehabitofspendingapartoftheirnightsandSundaysinfishingforoysters,andinthiswaymadeupthedeficiencyoftheirscantyallowance.
AnoldmanbelongingtoColonelLloyd,whilethusengaged,happenedtogetbeyondthelimitsofColonelLloyd's,andonthepremisesofMr.
BealBondly.
Atthistrespass,Mr.
Bondlytookoffence,andwithhismusketcamedowntotheshore,andblewitsdeadlycontentsintothepooroldman.
Mr.
BondlycameovertoseeColonelLloydthenextday,whethertopayhimforhisproperty,ortojustifyhimselfinwhathehaddone,Iknownot.
Atanyrate,thiswholefiendishtransactionwassoonhushedup.
Therewasverylittlesaidaboutitatall,andnothingdone.
Itwasacommonsaying,evenamonglittlewhiteboys,thatitwasworthahalf-centtokilla"nigger,"andahalf-centtoburyone.
LIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS23CHAPTERV.
AStomyowntreatmentwhileIlivedonColonelLloyd'splantation,itwasverysimilartothatoftheotherslavechildren.
Iwasnotoldenoughtoworkinthefield,andtherebeinglittleelsethanfieldworktodo,Ihadagreatdealofleisuretime.
ThemostIhadtodowastodriveupthecowsatevening,keepthefowlsoutofthegarden,keepthefrontyardclean,andrunoferrandsformyoldmaster'sdaughter,Mrs.
LucretiaAuld.
ThemostofmyleisuretimeIspentinhelpingMasterDanielLloydinfindinghisbirds,afterhehadshotthem.
MyconnectionwithMasterDanielwasofsomeadvantagetome.
Hebecamequiteattachedtome,andwasasortofprotectorofme.
Hewouldnotallowtheolderboystoimposeuponme,andwoulddividehiscakeswithme.
Iwasseldomwhippedbymyoldmaster,andsufferedlittlefromanythingelsethanhungerandcold.
Isufferedmuchfromhunger,butmuchmorefromcold.
Inhottestsummerandcoldestwinter,Iwaskeptalmostnaked—noshoes,nostockings,nojacket,notrousers,nothingonbutacoarsetowlinenshirt,reachingonlytomyknees.
Ihadnobed.
Imusthaveperishedwithcold,butthat,thecoldestnights,Iusedtostealabagwhichwasusedforcarryingcorntothemill.
Iwouldcrawlintothisbag,andtheresleeponthecold,damp,clayfloor,withmyheadinandfeetout.
Myfeethavebeensocrackedwiththefrost,thatthepenwithwhichIamwritingmightbelaidinthegashes.
Wewerenotregularlyallowanced.
Ourfoodwascoarsecornmealboiled.
Thiswascalledmush.
Itwasputintoalargewoodentrayortrough,andsetdownupontheground.
TheNARRATIVEOFTHE24childrenwerethencalled,likesomanypigs,andlikesomanypigstheywouldcomeanddevourthemush;somewithoyster-shells,otherswithpiecesofshingle,somewithnakedhands,andnonewithspoons.
Hethatatefastestgotmost;hethatwasstrongestsecuredthebestplace;andfewleftthetroughsatisfied.
IwasprobablybetweensevenandeightyearsoldwhenIleftColonelLloyd'splantation.
Ileftitwithjoy.
IshallneverforgettheecstasywithwhichIreceivedtheintelligencethatmyoldmaster(Anthony)haddeterminedtoletmegotoBaltimore,tolivewithMr.
HughAuld,brothertomyoldmaster'sson-in-law,CaptainThomasAuld.
Ireceivedthisinformationaboutthreedaysbeforemydeparture.
TheywerethreeofthehappiestdaysIeverenjoyed.
Ispentthemostpartofallthesethreedaysinthecreek,washingofftheplantationscurf,andpreparingmyselfformydeparture.
Theprideofappearancewhichthiswouldindicatewasnotmyown.
Ispentthetimeinwashing,notsomuchbecauseIwishedto,butbecauseMrs.
LucretiahadtoldmeImustgetallthedeadskinoffmyfeetandkneesbeforeIcouldgotoBaltimore;forthepeopleinBaltimorewereverycleanly,andwouldlaughatmeifIlookeddirty.
Besides,shewasgoingtogivemeapairoftrousers,whichIshouldnotputonunlessIgotallthedirtoffme.
Thethoughtofowningapairoftrouserswasgreatindeed!
Itwasalmostasufficientmotive,notonlytomakemetakeoffwhatwouldbecalledbypig-droversthemange,buttheskinitself.
Iwentatitingoodearnest,workingforthefirsttimewiththehopeofreward.
Thetiesthatordinarilybindchildrentotheirhomeswereallsuspendedinmycase.
Ifoundnoseveretrialinmydeparture.
Myhomewascharmless;itwasnothometome;onpartingfromit,IcouldnotfeelthatIwasleavinganythingwhichIcouldhaveenjoyedbystaying.
Mymotherwasdead,LIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS25mygrandmotherlivedfaroff,sothatIseldomsawher.
Ihadtwosistersandonebrother,thatlivedinthesamehousewithme;buttheearlyseparationofusfromourmotherhadwellnighblottedthefactofourrelationshipfromourmemories.
Ilookedforhomeelsewhere,andwasconfidentoffindingnonewhichIshouldrelishlessthantheonewhichIwasleaving.
If,however,Ifoundinmynewhomehardship,hunger,whipping,andnakedness,IhadtheconsolationthatIshouldnothaveescapedanyoneofthembystaying.
Havingalreadyhadmorethanatasteoftheminthehouseofmyoldmaster,andhavingenduredthemthere,Iverynaturallyinferredmyabilitytoendurethemelsewhere,andespeciallyatBaltimore;forIhadsomethingofthefeelingaboutBaltimorethatisexpressedintheproverb,that"beinghangedinEnglandispreferabletodyinganaturaldeathinIreland.
"IhadthestrongestdesiretoseeBaltimore.
CousinTom,thoughnotfluentinspeech,hadinspiredmewiththatdesirebyhiseloquentdescriptionoftheplace.
IcouldneverpointoutanythingattheGreatHouse,nomatterhowbeautifulorpowerful,butthathehadseensomethingatBaltimorefarexceeding,bothinbeautyandstrength,theobjectwhichIpointedouttohim.
EventheGreatHouseitself,withallitspictures,wasfarinferiortomanybuildingsinBaltimore.
Sostrongwasmydesire,thatIthoughtagratificationofitwouldfullycompensateforwhateverlossofcomfortsIshouldsustainbytheexchange.
Ileftwithoutaregret,andwiththehighesthopesoffuturehappiness.
WesailedoutofMilesRiverforBaltimoreonaSaturdaymorning.
Irememberonlythedayoftheweek,foratthattimeIhadnoknowledgeofthedaysofthemonth,northemonthsoftheyear.
Onsettingsail,Iwalkedaft,andgavetoColonelLloyd'splantationwhatIhopedwouldbethelastlook.
Ithenplacedmyselfinthebowsofthesloop,andtherespenttheNARRATIVEOFTHE26remainderofthedayinlookingahead,interestingmyselfinwhatwasinthedistanceratherthaninthingsnearbyorbehind.
Intheafternoonofthatday,wereachedAnnapolis,thecapitaloftheState.
Westoppedbutafewmoments,sothatIhadnotimetogoonshore.
ItwasthefirstlargetownthatIhadeverseen,andthoughitwouldlooksmallcomparedwithsomeofourNewEnglandfactoryvillages,Ithoughtitawonderfulplaceforitssize—moreimposingeventhantheGreatHouseFarm!
WearrivedatBaltimoreearlyonSundaymorning,landingatSmith'sWharf,notfarfromBowley'sWharf.
Wehadonboardthesloopalargeflockofsheep;andafteraidingindrivingthemtotheslaughterhouseofMr.
CurtisonLoudenSlater'sHill,IwasconductedbyRich,oneofthehandsbelongingonboardofthesloop,tomynewhomeinAllicianaStreet,nearMr.
Gardner'sship-yard,onFellsPoint.
Mr.
andMrs.
Auldwerebothathome,andmetmeatthedoorwiththeirlittlesonThomas,totakecareofwhomIhadbeengiven.
AndhereIsawwhatIhadneverseenbefore;itwasawhitefacebeamingwiththemostkindlyemotions;itwasthefaceofmynewmistress,SophiaAuld.
IwishIcoulddescribetherapturethatflashedthroughmysoulasIbeheldit.
Itwasanewandstrangesighttome,brighteningupmypathwaywiththelightofhappiness.
LittleThomaswastold,therewashisFreddy,—andIwastoldtotakecareoflittleThomas;andthusIentereduponthedutiesofmynewhomewiththemostcheeringprospectahead.
IlookuponmydeparturefromColonelLloyd'splantationasoneofthemostinterestingeventsofmylife.
Itispossible,andevenquiteprobable,thatbutforthemerecircumstanceofbeingremovedfromthatplantationtoBaltimore,Ishouldhaveto-day,insteadofbeinghereseatedbymyowntable,intheenjoymentoffreedomandthehappinessofhome,writingthisLIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS27Narrative,beenconfinedinthegallingchainsofslavery.
GoingtoliveatBaltimorelaidthefoundation,andopenedthegateway,toallmysubsequentprosperity.
Ihaveeverregardeditasthefirstplainmanifestationofthatkindprovidencewhichhaseversinceattendedme,andmarkedmylifewithsomanyfavors.
Iregardedtheselectionofmyselfasbeingsomewhatremarkable.
TherewereanumberofslavechildrenthatmighthavebeensentfromtheplantationtoBaltimore.
Therewerethoseyounger,thoseolder,andthoseofthesameage.
Iwaschosenfromamongthemall,andwasthefirst,last,andonlychoice.
Imaybedeemedsuperstitious,andevenegotistical,inregardingthiseventasaspecialinterpositionofdivineProvidenceinmyfavor.
ButIshouldbefalsetotheearliestsentimentsofmysoul,ifIsuppressedtheopinion.
Iprefertobetruetomyself,evenatthehazardofincurringtheridiculeofothers,ratherthantobefalse,andincurmyownabhorrence.
Frommyearliestrecollection,Idatetheentertainmentofadeepconvictionthatslaverywouldnotalwaysbeabletoholdmewithinitsfoulembrace;andinthedarkesthoursofmycareerinslavery,thislivingwordoffaithandspiritofhopedepartednotfromme,butremainedlikeministeringangelstocheermethroughthegloom.
ThisgoodspiritwasfromGod,andtohimIofferthanksgivingandpraise.
NARRATIVEOFTHE28CHAPTERVI.
MYnewmistressprovedtobeallsheappearedwhenIfirstmetheratthedoor,—awomanofthekindestheartandfinestfeelings.
Shehadneverhadaslaveunderhercontrolpreviouslytomyself,andpriortohermarriageshehadbeendependentuponherownindustryforaliving.
Shewasbytradeaweaver;andbyconstantapplicationtoherbusiness,shehadbeeninagooddegreepreservedfromtheblightinganddehumanizingeffectsofslavery.
Iwasutterlyastonishedathergoodness.
Iscarcelyknewhowtobehavetowardsher.
ShewasentirelyunlikeanyotherwhitewomanIhadeverseen.
IcouldnotapproachherasIwasaccustomedtoapproachotherwhiteladies.
Myearlyinstructionwasalloutofplace.
Thecrouchingservility,usuallysoacceptableaqualityinaslave,didnotanswerwhenmanifestedtowardher.
Herfavorwasnotgainedbyit;sheseemedtobedisturbedbyit.
Shedidnotdeemitimpudentorunmannerlyforaslavetolookherintheface.
Themeanestslavewasputfullyateaseinherpresence,andnoneleftwithoutfeelingbetterforhavingseenher.
Herfacewasmadeofheavenlysmiles,andhervoiceoftranquilmusic.
But,alas!
thiskindhearthadbutashorttimetoremainsuch.
Thefatalpoisonofirresponsiblepowerwasalreadyinherhands,andsooncommenceditsinfernalwork.
Thatcheerfuleye,undertheinfluenceofslavery,soonbecameredwithrage;thatvoice,madeallofsweetaccord,changedtooneofharshandhorriddiscord;andthatangelicfacegaveplacetothatofademon.
VerysoonafterIwenttolivewithMr.
andMrs.
Auld,sheverykindlycommencedtoteachmetheA,B,C.
AfterIhadLIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS29learnedthis,sheassistedmeinlearningtospellwordsofthreeorfourletters.
Justatthispointofmyprogress,Mr.
Auldfoundoutwhatwasgoingon,andatonceforbadeMrs.
Auldtoinstructmefurther,tellingher,amongotherthings,thatitwasunlawful,aswellasunsafe,toteachaslavetoread.
Tousehisownwords,further,hesaid,"Ifyougiveaniggeraninch,hewilltakeanell.
Aniggershouldknownothingbuttoobeyhismaster—todoasheistoldtodo.
Learningwouldspoilthebestniggerintheworld.
Now,"saidhe,"ifyouteachthatnigger(speakingofmyself)howtoread,therewouldbenokeepinghim.
Itwouldforeverunfithimtobeaslave.
Hewouldatoncebecomeunmanageable,andofnovaluetohismaster.
Astohimself,itcoulddohimnogood,butagreatdealofharm.
Itwouldmakehimdiscontentedandunhappy.
"Thesewordssankdeepintomyheart,stirredupsentimentswithinthatlayslumbering,andcalledintoexistenceanentirelynewtrainofthought.
Itwasanewandspecialrevelation,explainingdarkandmysteriousthings,withwhichmyyouthfulunderstandinghadstruggled,butstruggledinvain.
Inowunderstoodwhathadbeentomeamostperplexingdifficulty—towit,thewhiteman'spowertoenslavetheblackman.
Itwasagrandachievement,andIprizedithighly.
Fromthatmoment,Iunderstoodthepathwayfromslaverytofreedom.
ItwasjustwhatIwanted,andIgotitatatimewhenItheleastexpectedit.
WhilstIwassaddenedbythethoughtoflosingtheaidofmykindmistress,Iwasgladdenedbytheinvaluableinstructionwhich,bythemerestaccident,Ihadgainedfrommymaster.
Thoughconsciousofthedifficultyoflearningwithoutateacher,Isetoutwithhighhope,andafixedpurpose,atwhatevercostoftrouble,tolearnhowtoread.
Theverydecidedmannerwithwhichhespoke,andstrovetoimpresshiswifewiththeevilconsequencesofgivingmeinstruction,servedtoconvincemethathewasdeeplysensibleofthetruthshewasNARRATIVEOFTHE30uttering.
ItgavemethebestassurancethatImightrelywiththeutmostconfidenceontheresultswhich,hesaid,wouldflowfromteachingmetoread.
Whathemostdreaded,thatImostdesired.
Whathemostloved,thatImosthated.
Thatwhichtohimwasagreatevil,tobecarefullyshunned,wastomeagreatgood,tobediligentlysought;andtheargumentwhichhesowarmlyurged,againstmylearningtoread,onlyservedtoinspiremewithadesireanddeterminationtolearn.
Inlearningtoread,Iowealmostasmuchtothebitteroppositionofmymaster,astothekindlyaidofmymistress.
Iacknowledgethebenefitofboth.
IhadresidedbutashorttimeinBaltimorebeforeIobservedamarkeddifference,inthetreatmentofslaves,fromthatwhichIhadwitnessedinthecountry.
Acityslaveisalmostafreeman,comparedwithaslaveontheplantation.
Heismuchbetterfedandclothed,andenjoysprivilegesaltogetherunknowntotheslaveontheplantation.
Thereisavestigeofdecency,asenseofshame,thatdoesmuchtocurbandcheckthoseoutbreaksofatrociouscrueltysocommonlyenactedupontheplantation.
Heisadesperateslaveholder,whowillshockthehumanityofhisnon-slaveholdingneighborswiththecriesofhislaceratedslave.
Fewarewillingtoincurtheodiumattachingtothereputationofbeingacruelmaster;andaboveallthings,theywouldnotbeknownasnotgivingaslaveenoughtoeat.
Everycityslaveholderisanxioustohaveitknownofhim,thathefeedshisslaveswell;anditisduetothemtosay,thatmostofthemdogivetheirslavesenoughtoeat.
Thereare,however,somepainfulexceptionstothisrule.
Directlyoppositetous,onPhilpotStreet,livedMr.
ThomasHamilton.
Heownedtwoslaves.
TheirnameswereHenriettaandMary.
Henriettawasabouttwenty-twoyearsofage,Marywasaboutfourteen;andofallthemangledandemaciatedcreaturesIeverlookedupon,thesetwowerethemostso.
Hisheartmustbeharderthanstone,LIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS31thatcouldlookupontheseunmoved.
Thehead,neck,andshouldersofMarywereliterallycuttopieces.
Ihavefrequentlyfeltherhead,andfounditnearlycoveredwithfesteringsores,causedbythelashofhercruelmistress.
Idonotknowthathermastereverwhippedher,butIhavebeenaneye-witnesstothecrueltyofMrs.
Hamilton.
IusedtobeinMr.
Hamilton'shousenearlyeveryday.
Mrs.
Hamiltonusedtositinalargechairinthemiddleoftheroom,withaheavycowskinalwaysbyherside,andscarceanhourpassedduringthedaybutwasmarkedbythebloodofoneoftheseslaves.
Thegirlsseldompassedherwithouthersaying,"Movefaster,youblackgip!
"atthesametimegivingthemablowwiththecowskinovertheheadorshoulders,oftendrawingtheblood.
Shewouldthensay,"Takethat,youblackgip!
"—continuing,"Ifyoudon'tmovefaster,I'llmoveyou!
"Addedtothecruellashingstowhichtheseslavesweresubjected,theywerekeptnearlyhalf-starved.
Theyseldomknewwhatitwastoeatafullmeal.
IhaveseenMarycontendingwiththepigsfortheoffalthrownintothestreet.
SomuchwasMarykickedandcuttopieces,thatshewasoftenercalled"pecked"thanbyhername.
NARRATIVEOFTHE32CHAPTERVII.
ILIVEDinMasterHugh'sfamilyaboutsevenyears.
Duringthistime,Isucceededinlearningtoreadandwrite.
Inaccomplishingthis,Iwascompelledtoresorttovariousstratagems.
Ihadnoregularteacher.
Mymistress,whohadkindlycommencedtoinstructme,had,incompliancewiththeadviceanddirectionofherhusband,notonlyceasedtoinstruct,buthadsetherfaceagainstmybeinginstructedbyanyoneelse.
Itisdue,however,tomymistresstosayofher,thatshedidnotadoptthiscourseoftreatmentimmediately.
Sheatfirstlackedthedepravityindispensabletoshuttingmeupinmentaldarkness.
Itwasatleastnecessaryforhertohavesometrainingintheexerciseofirresponsiblepower,tomakeherequaltothetaskoftreatingmeasthoughIwereabrute.
Mymistresswas,asIhavesaid,akindandtender-heartedwoman;andinthesimplicityofhersoulshecommenced,whenIfirstwenttolivewithher,totreatmeasshesupposedonehumanbeingoughttotreatanother.
Inenteringuponthedutiesofaslaveholder,shedidnotseemtoperceivethatIsustainedtohertherelationofamerechattel,andthatforhertotreatmeasahumanbeingwasnotonlywrong,butdangerouslyso.
Slaveryprovedasinjurioustoherasitdidtome.
WhenIwentthere,shewasapious,warm,andtender-heartedwoman.
Therewasnosorroworsufferingforwhichshehadnotatear.
Shehadbreadforthehungry,clothesforthenaked,andcomfortforeverymournerthatcamewithinherreach.
Slaverysoonproveditsabilitytodivestheroftheseheavenlyqualities.
Underitsinfluence,thetenderheartbecamestone,andthelamblikedispositiongavewaytooneoftiger-likefierceness.
ThefirstLIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS33stepinherdownwardcoursewasinherceasingtoinstructme.
Shenowcommencedtopractiseherhusband'sprecepts.
Shefinallybecameevenmoreviolentinheroppositionthanherhusbandhimself.
Shewasnotsatisfiedwithsimplydoingaswellashehadcommanded;sheseemedanxioustodobetter.
Nothingseemedtomakehermoreangrythantoseemewithanewspaper.
Sheseemedtothinkthatherelaythedanger.
Ihavehadherrushatmewithafacemadeallupoffury,andsnatchfrommeanewspaper,inamannerthatfullyrevealedherapprehension.
Shewasanaptwoman;andalittleexperiencesoondemonstrated,tohersatisfaction,thateducationandslaverywereincompatiblewitheachother.
FromthistimeIwasmostnarrowlywatched.
IfIwasinaseparateroomanyconsiderablelengthoftime,Iwassuretobesuspectedofhavingabook,andwasatoncecalledtogiveanaccountofmyself.
Allthis,however,wastoolate.
Thefirststephadbeentaken.
Mistress,inteachingmethealphabet,hadgivenmetheinch,andnoprecautioncouldpreventmefromtakingtheell.
TheplanwhichIadopted,andtheonebywhichIwasmostsuccessful,wasthatofmakingfriendsofallthelittlewhiteboyswhomImetinthestreet.
AsmanyoftheseasIcould,Iconvertedintoteachers.
Withtheirkindlyaid,obtainedatdifferenttimesandindifferentplaces,Ifinallysucceededinlearningtoread.
WhenIwassentoferrands,Ialwaystookmybookwithme,andbygoingonepartofmyerrandquickly,Ifoundtimetogetalessonbeforemyreturn.
Iusedalsotocarrybreadwithme,enoughofwhichwasalwaysinthehouse,andtowhichIwasalwayswelcome;forIwasmuchbetteroffinthisregardthanmanyofthepoorwhitechildreninourneighborhood.
ThisbreadIusedtobestowuponthehungrylittleurchins,who,inreturn,wouldgivemethatmorevaluablebreadofknowledge.
IamstronglytemptedtogivethenamesofNARRATIVEOFTHE34twoorthreeofthoselittleboys,asatestimonialofthegratitudeandaffectionIbearthem;butprudenceforbids;—notthatitwouldinjureme,butitmightembarrassthem;foritisalmostanunpardonableoffencetoteachslavestoreadinthisChristiancountry.
Itisenoughtosayofthedearlittlefellows,thattheylivedonPhilpotStreet,verynearDurginandBailey'sship-yard.
Iusedtotalkthismatterofslaveryoverwiththem.
Iwouldsometimessaytothem,IwishedIcouldbeasfreeastheywouldbewhentheygottobemen.
"Youwillbefreeassoonasyouaretwenty-one,butIamaslaveforlife!
HavenotIasgoodarighttobefreeasyouhave"Thesewordsusedtotroublethem;theywouldexpressformetheliveliestsympathy,andconsolemewiththehopethatsomethingwouldoccurbywhichImightbefree.
Iwasnowabouttwelveyearsold,andthethoughtofbeingaslaveforlifebegantobearheavilyuponmyheart.
Justaboutthistime,Igotholdofabookentitled"TheColumbianOrator.
"EveryopportunityIgot,Iusedtoreadthisbook.
Amongmuchofotherinterestingmatter,Ifoundinitadialoguebetweenamasterandhisslave.
Theslavewasrepresentedashavingrunawayfromhismasterthreetimes.
Thedialoguerepresentedtheconversationwhichtookplacebetweenthem,whentheslavewasretakenthethirdtime.
Inthisdialogue,thewholeargumentinbehalfofslaverywasbroughtforwardbythemaster,allofwhichwasdisposedofbytheslave.
Theslavewasmadetosaysomeverysmartaswellasimpressivethingsinreplytohismaster—thingswhichhadthedesiredthoughunexpectedeffect;fortheconversationresultedinthevoluntaryemancipationoftheslaveonthepartofthemaster.
Inthesamebook,ImetwithoneofSheridan'smightyspeechesonandinbehalfofCatholicemancipation.
Thesewerechoicedocumentstome.
Ireadthemoverandoveragainwithunabatedinterest.
TheygavetonguetointerestingthoughtsofLIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS35myownsoul,whichhadfrequentlyflashedthroughmymind,anddiedawayforwantofutterance.
ThemoralwhichIgainedfromthedialoguewasthepoweroftruthovertheconscienceofevenaslaveholder.
WhatIgotfromSheridanwasabolddenunciationofslavery,andapowerfulvindicationofhumanrights.
Thereadingofthesedocumentsenabledmetouttermythoughts,andtomeettheargumentsbroughtforwardtosustainslavery;butwhiletheyrelievedmeofonedifficulty,theybroughtonanotherevenmorepainfulthantheoneofwhichIwasrelieved.
ThemoreIread,themoreIwasledtoabhoranddetestmyenslavers.
Icouldregardtheminnootherlightthanabandofsuccessfulrobbers,whohadlefttheirhomes,andgonetoAfrica,andstolenusfromourhomes,andinastrangelandreducedustoslavery.
Iloathedthemasbeingthemeanestaswellasthemostwickedofmen.
AsIreadandcontemplatedthesubject,behold!
thatverydiscontentmentwhichMasterHughhadpredictedwouldfollowmylearningtoreadhadalreadycome,totormentandstingmysoultounutterableanguish.
AsIwrithedunderit,Iwouldattimesfeelthatlearningtoreadhadbeenacurseratherthanablessing.
Ithadgivenmeaviewofmywretchedcondition,withouttheremedy.
Itopenedmyeyestothehorriblepit,buttonoladderuponwhichtogetout.
Inmomentsofagony,Ienviedmyfellow-slavesfortheirstupidity.
Ihaveoftenwishedmyselfabeast.
Ipreferredtheconditionofthemeanestreptiletomyown.
Anything,nomatterwhat,togetridofthinking!
Itwasthiseverlastingthinkingofmyconditionthattormentedme.
Therewasnogettingridofit.
Itwaspresseduponmebyeveryobjectwithinsightorhearing,animateorinanimate.
Thesilvertrumpoffreedomhadrousedmysoultoeternalwakefulness.
Freedomnowappeared,todisappearnomoreforever.
Itwasheardineverysound,andseenineverything.
Itwaseverpresenttotormentmewithasenseofmywretchedcondition.
IsawNARRATIVEOFTHE36nothingwithoutseeingit,Iheardnothingwithouthearingit,andfeltnothingwithoutfeelingit.
Itlookedfromeverystar,itsmiledineverycalm,breathedineverywind,andmovedineverystorm.
Ioftenfoundmyselfregrettingmyownexistence,andwishingmyselfdead;andbutforthehopeofbeingfree,IhavenodoubtbutthatIshouldhavekilledmyself,ordonesomethingforwhichIshouldhavebeenkilled.
Whileinthisstateofmind,Iwaseagertohearanyonespeakofslavery.
Iwasareadylistener.
Everylittlewhile,Icouldhearsomethingabouttheabolitionists.
ItwassometimebeforeIfoundwhatthewordmeant.
Itwasalwaysusedinsuchconnectionsastomakeitaninterestingwordtome.
Ifaslaveranawayandsucceededingettingclear,orifaslavekilledhismaster,setfiretoabarn,ordidanythingverywronginthemindofaslaveholder,itwasspokenofasthefruitofabolition.
Hearingthewordinthisconnectionveryoften,Isetaboutlearningwhatitmeant.
Thedictionaryaffordedmelittleornohelp.
Ifounditwas"theactofabolishing;"butthenIdidnotknowwhatwastobeabolished.
HereIwasperplexed.
Ididnotdaretoaskanyoneaboutitsmeaning,forIwassatisfiedthatitwassomethingtheywantedmetoknowverylittleabout.
Afterapatientwaiting,Igotoneofourcitypapers,containinganaccountofthenumberofpetitionsfromthenorth,prayingfortheabolitionofslaveryintheDistrictofColumbia,andoftheslavetradebetweentheStates.
FromthistimeIunderstoodthewordsabolitionandabolitionist,andalwaysdrewnearwhenthatwordwasspoken,expectingtohearsomethingofimportancetomyselfandfellow-slaves.
Thelightbrokeinuponmebydegrees.
IwentonedaydownonthewharfofMr.
Waters;andseeingtwoIrishmenunloadingascowofstone,Iwent,unasked,andhelpedthem.
Whenwehadfinished,oneofthemcametomeandaskedmeifIwereaslave.
ItoldhimIwas.
Heasked,"AreLIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS37yeaslaveforlife"ItoldhimthatIwas.
ThegoodIrishmanseemedtobedeeplyaffectedbythestatement.
Hesaidtotheotherthatitwasapitysofinealittlefellowasmyselfshouldbeaslaveforlife.
Hesaiditwasashametoholdme.
Theybothadvisedmetorunawaytothenorth;thatIshouldfindfriendsthere,andthatIshouldbefree.
Ipretendednottobeinterestedinwhattheysaid,andtreatedthemasifIdidnotunderstandthem;forIfearedtheymightbetreacherous.
Whitemenhavebeenknowntoencourageslavestoescape,andthen,togetthereward,catchthemandreturnthemtotheirmasters.
Iwasafraidthattheseseeminglygoodmenmightusemeso;butIneverthelessrememberedtheiradvice,andfromthattimeIresolvedtorunaway.
Ilookedforwardtoatimeatwhichitwouldbesafeformetoescape.
Iwastooyoungtothinkofdoingsoimmediately;besides,Iwishedtolearnhowtowrite,asImighthaveoccasiontowritemyownpass.
IconsoledmyselfwiththehopethatIshouldonedayfindagoodchance.
Meanwhile,Iwouldlearntowrite.
TheideaastohowImightlearntowritewassuggestedtomebybeinginDurginandBailey'sship-yard,andfrequentlyseeingtheshipcarpenters,afterhewing,andgettingapieceoftimberreadyforuse,writeonthetimberthenameofthatpartoftheshipforwhichitwasintended.
Whenapieceoftimberwasintendedforthelarboardside,itwouldbemarkedthus—"L.
"Whenapiecewasforthestarboardside,itwouldbemarkedthus—"S.
"Apieceforthelarboardsideforward,wouldbemarkedthus—"L.
F.
"Whenapiecewasforstarboardsideforward,itwouldbemarkedthus—"S.
F.
"Forlarboardaft,itwouldbemarkedthus—"L.
A.
"Forstarboardaft,itwouldbemarkedthus—"S.
A.
"Isoonlearnedthenamesoftheseletters,andforwhattheywereintendedwhenplaceduponapieceoftimberintheship-yard.
Iimmediatelycommencedcopyingthem,andinashorttimewasabletomakethefourlettersNARRATIVEOFTHE38named.
Afterthat,whenImetwithanyboywhoIknewcouldwrite,IwouldtellhimIcouldwriteaswellashe.
Thenextwordwouldbe,"Idon'tbelieveyou.
Letmeseeyoutryit.
"IwouldthenmaketheletterswhichIhadbeensofortunateastolearn,andaskhimtobeatthat.
InthiswayIgotagoodmanylessonsinwriting,whichitisquitepossibleIshouldneverhavegotteninanyotherway.
Duringthistime,mycopy-bookwastheboardfence,brickwall,andpavement;mypenandinkwasalumpofchalk.
Withthese,Ilearnedmainlyhowtowrite.
IthencommencedandcontinuedcopyingtheItalicsinWebster'sSpellingBook,untilIcouldmakethemallwithoutlookingonthebook.
Bythistime,mylittleMasterThomashadgonetoschool,andlearnedhowtowrite,andhadwrittenoveranumberofcopy-books.
Thesehadbeenbroughthome,andshowntosomeofournearneighbors,andthenlaidaside.
MymistressusedtogotoclassmeetingattheWilkStreetmeetinghouseeveryMondayafternoon,andleavemetotakecareofthehouse.
Whenleftthus,IusedtospendthetimeinwritinginthespacesleftinMasterThomas'scopy-book,copyingwhathehadwritten.
IcontinuedtodothisuntilIcouldwriteahandverysimilartothatofMasterThomas.
Thus,afteralong,tediouseffortforyears,Ifinallysucceededinlearninghowtowrite.
LIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS39CHAPTERVIII.
INaveryshorttimeafterIwenttoliveatBaltimore,myoldmaster'syoungestsonRicharddied;andinaboutthreeyearsandsixmonthsafterhisdeath,myoldmaster,CaptainAnthony,died,leavingonlyhisson,Andrew,anddaughter,Lucretia,tosharehisestate.
HediedwhileonavisittoseehisdaughteratHillsborough.
Cutoffthusunexpectedly,heleftnowillastothedisposalofhisproperty.
Itwasthereforenecessarytohaveavaluationoftheproperty,thatitmightbeequallydividedbetweenMrs.
LucretiaandMasterAndrew.
Iwasimmediatelysentfor,tobevaluedwiththeotherproperty.
Hereagainmyfeelingsroseupindetestationofslavery.
Ihadnowanewconceptionofmydegradedcondition.
Priortothis,Ihadbecome,ifnotinsensibletomylot,atleastpartlyso.
IleftBaltimorewithayoungheartoverbornewithsadness,andasoulfullofapprehension.
ItookpassagewithCaptainRowe,intheschoonerWildCat,and,afterasailofabouttwenty-fourhours,Ifoundmyselfneartheplaceofmybirth.
Ihadnowbeenabsentfromitalmost,ifnotquite,fiveyears.
I,however,rememberedtheplaceverywell.
IwasonlyaboutfiveyearsoldwhenIleftit,togoandlivewithmyoldmasteronColonelLloyd'splantation;sothatIwasnowbetweentenandelevenyearsold.
Wewereallrankedtogetheratthevaluation.
Menandwomen,oldandyoung,marriedandsingle,wererankedwithhorses,sheep,andswine.
Therewerehorsesandmen,cattleandwomen,pigsandchildren,allholdingthesamerankinthescaleofbeing,andwereallsubjectedtothesamenarrowexamination.
Silvery-headedageandsprightlyyouth,maidsandNARRATIVEOFTHE40matrons,hadtoundergothesameindelicateinspection.
Atthismoment,Isawmoreclearlythaneverthebrutalizingeffectsofslaveryuponbothslaveandslaveholder.
Afterthevaluation,thencamethedivision.
Ihavenolanguagetoexpressthehighexcitementanddeepanxietywhichwerefeltamonguspoorslavesduringthistime.
Ourfateforlifewasnowtobedecided.
Wehadnomorevoiceinthatdecisionthanthebrutesamongwhomwewereranked.
Asinglewordfromthewhitemenwasenough—againstallourwishes,prayers,andentreaties—tosunderforeverthedearestfriends,dearestkindred,andstrongesttiesknowntohumanbeings.
Inadditiontothepainofseparation,therewasthehorriddreadoffallingintothehandsofMasterAndrew.
Hewasknowntousallasbeingamostcruelwretch,—acommondrunkard,whohad,byhisrecklessmismanagementandprofligatedissipation,alreadywastedalargeportionofhisfather'sproperty.
WeallfeltthatwemightaswellbesoldatoncetotheGeorgiatraders,astopassintohishands;forweknewthatthatwouldbeourinevitablecondition,—aconditionheldbyusallintheutmosthorroranddread.
Isufferedmoreanxietythanmostofmyfellow-slaves.
Ihadknownwhatitwastobekindlytreated;theyhadknownnothingofthekind.
Theyhadseenlittleornothingoftheworld.
Theywereinverydeedmenandwomenofsorrow,andacquaintedwithgrief.
Theirbackshadbeenmadefamiliarwiththebloodylash,sothattheyhadbecomecallous;minewasyettender;forwhileatBaltimoreIgotfewwhippings,andfewslavescouldboastofakindermasterandmistressthanmyself;andthethoughtofpassingoutoftheirhandsintothoseofMasterAndrew—amanwho,butafewdaysbefore,togivemeasampleofhisbloodydisposition,tookmylittlebrotherbythethroat,threwhimontheground,andwiththeheelofhisbootstampeduponhisheadtillthebloodgushedfromhisnoseandLIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS41ears—waswellcalculatedtomakemeanxiousastomyfate.
Afterhehadcommittedthissavageoutrageuponmybrother,heturnedtome,andsaidthatwasthewayhemeanttoservemeoneofthesedays,—meaning,Isuppose,whenIcameintohispossession.
ThankstoakindProvidence,IfelltotheportionofMrs.
Lucretia,andwassentimmediatelybacktoBaltimore,toliveagaininthefamilyofMasterHugh.
Theirjoyatmyreturnequalledtheirsorrowatmydeparture.
Itwasagladdaytome.
Ihadescapedaworsethanlion'sjaws.
IwasabsentfromBaltimore,forthepurposeofvaluationanddivision,justaboutonemonth,anditseemedtohavebeensix.
VerysoonaftermyreturntoBaltimore,mymistress,Lucretia,died,leavingherhusbandandonechild,Amanda;andinaveryshorttimeafterherdeath,MasterAndrewdied.
Nowallthepropertyofmyoldmaster,slavesincluded,wasinthehandsofstrangers,—strangerswhohadhadnothingtodowithaccumulatingit.
Notaslavewasleftfree.
Allremainedslaves,fromtheyoungesttotheoldest.
Ifanyonethinginmyexperience,morethananother,servedtodeepenmyconvictionoftheinfernalcharacterofslavery,andtofillmewithunutterableloathingofslaveholders,itwastheirbaseingratitudetomypooroldgrandmother.
Shehadservedmyoldmasterfaithfullyfromyouthtooldage.
Shehadbeenthesourceofallhiswealth;shehadpeopledhisplantationwithslaves;shehadbecomeagreatgrandmotherinhisservice.
Shehadrockedhimininfancy,attendedhiminchildhood,servedhimthroughlife,andathisdeathwipedfromhisicybrowthecolddeath-sweat,andclosedhiseyesforever.
Shewasneverthelessleftaslave—aslaveforlife—aslaveinthehandsofstrangers;andintheirhandsshesawherchildren,hergrandchildren,andhergreat-grandchildren,divided,likesomanysheep,withoutbeinggratifiedwiththesmallprivilegeofasingleword,astotheirorNARRATIVEOFTHE42herowndestiny.
And,tocaptheclimaxoftheirbaseingratitudeandfiendishbarbarity,mygrandmother,whowasnowveryold,havingoutlivedmyoldmasterandallhischildren,havingseenthebeginningandendofallofthem,andherpresentownersfindingshewasofbutlittlevalue,herframealreadyrackedwiththepainsofoldage,andcompletehelplessnessfaststealingoverheronceactivelimbs,theytookhertothewoods,builtheralittlehut,putupalittlemud-chimney,andthenmadeherwelcometotheprivilegeofsupportingherselfthereinperfectloneliness;thusvirtuallyturningherouttodie!
Ifmypooroldgrandmothernowlives,shelivestosufferinutterloneliness;shelivestorememberandmournoverthelossofchildren,thelossofgrandchildren,andthelossofgreat-grandchildren.
Theyare,inthelanguageoftheslave'spoet,Whittier,—"Gone,gone,soldandgoneTothericeswampdankandlone,Wheretheslave-whipceaselessswings,Wherethenoisomeinsectstings,Wherethefever-demonstrewsPoisonwiththefallingdews,WherethesicklysunbeamsglareThroughthehotandmistyair:—Gone,gone,soldandgoneTothericeswampdankandlone,FromVirginiahillsandwaters—Woeisme,mystolendaughters!
"Thehearthisdesolate.
Thechildren,theunconsciouschildren,whooncesanganddancedinherpresence,aregone.
Shegropesherway,inthedarknessofage,foradrinkofwater.
Insteadofthevoicesofherchildren,shehearsbydaytheLIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS43moansofthedove,andbynightthescreamsofthehideousowl.
Allisgloom.
Thegraveisatthedoor.
Andnow,whenweigheddownbythepainsandachesofoldage,whentheheadinclinestothefeet,whenthebeginningandendingofhumanexistencemeet,andhelplessinfancyandpainfuloldagecombinetogether—atthistime,thismostneedfultime,thetimefortheexerciseofthattendernessandaffectionwhichchildrenonlycanexercisetowardsadecliningparent—mypooroldgrandmother,thedevotedmotheroftwelvechildren,isleftallalone,inyonderlittlehut,beforeafewdimembers.
Shestands—shesits—shestaggers—shefalls—shegroans—shedies—andtherearenoneofherchildrenorgrandchildrenpresent,towipefromherwrinkledbrowthecoldsweatofdeath,ortoplacebeneaththesodherfallenremains.
WillnotarighteousGodvisitforthesethingsInabouttwoyearsafterthedeathofMrs.
Lucretia,MasterThomasmarriedhissecondwife.
HernamewasRowenaHamilton.
ShewastheeldestdaughterofMr.
WilliamHamilton.
MasternowlivedinSt.
Michael's.
Notlongafterhismarriage,amisunderstandingtookplacebetweenhimselfandMasterHugh;andasameansofpunishinghisbrother,hetookmefromhimtolivewithhimselfatSt.
Michael's.
HereIunderwentanothermostpainfulseparation.
It,however,wasnotsosevereastheoneIdreadedatthedivisionofproperty;for,duringthisinterval,agreatchangehadtakenplaceinMasterHughandhisoncekindandaffectionatewife.
Theinfluenceofbrandyuponhim,andofslaveryuponher,hadeffectedadisastrouschangeinthecharactersofboth;sothat,asfarastheywereconcerned,IthoughtIhadlittletolosebythechange.
ButitwasnottothemthatIwasattached.
ItwastothoselittleBaltimoreboysthatIfeltthestrongestattachment.
Ihadreceivedmanygoodlessonsfromthem,andwasstillreceivingthem,andthethoughtofleavingthemwaspainfulindeed.
IwasNARRATIVEOFTHE44leaving,too,withoutthehopeofeverbeingallowedtoreturn.
MasterThomashadsaidhewouldneverletmereturnagain.
Thebarrierbetwixthimselfandbrotherheconsideredimpassable.
IthenhadtoregretthatIdidnotatleastmaketheattempttocarryoutmyresolutiontorunaway;forthechancesofsuccessaretenfoldgreaterfromthecitythanfromthecountry.
IsailedfromBaltimoreforSt.
Michael'sinthesloopAmanda,CaptainEdwardDodson.
Onmypassage,IpaidparticularattentiontothedirectionwhichthesteamboatstooktogotoPhiladelphia.
Ifound,insteadofgoingdown,onreachingNorthPointtheywentupthebay,inanorth-easterlydirection.
Ideemedthisknowledgeoftheutmostimportance.
Mydeterminationtorunawaywasagainrevived.
Iresolvedtowaitonlysolongastheofferingofafavorableopportunity.
Whenthatcame,Iwasdeterminedtobeoff.
LIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS45CHAPTERIX.
IHAVEnowreachedaperiodofmylifewhenIcangivedates.
IleftBaltimore,andwenttolivewithMasterThomasAuld,atSt.
Michael's,inMarch,1832.
ItwasnowmorethansevenyearssinceIlivedwithhiminthefamilyofmyoldmaster,onColonelLloyd'splantation.
Weofcoursewerenowalmostentirestrangerstoeachother.
Hewastomeanewmaster,andItohimanewslave.
Iwasignorantofhistemperanddisposition;hewasequallysoofmine.
Averyshorttime,however,broughtusintofullacquaintancewitheachother.
Iwasmadeacquaintedwithhiswifenotlessthanwithhimself.
Theywerewellmatched,beingequallymeanandcruel.
Iwasnow,forthefirsttimeduringaspaceofmorethansevenyears,madetofeelthepainfulgnawingsofhunger—asomethingwhichIhadnotexperiencedbeforesinceIleftColonelLloyd'splantation.
Itwenthardenoughwithmethen,whenIcouldlookbacktonoperiodatwhichIhadenjoyedasufficiency.
ItwastenfoldharderafterlivinginMasterHugh'sfamily,whereIhadalwayshadenoughtoeat,andofthatwhichwasgood.
IhavesaidMasterThomaswasameanman.
Hewasso.
Nottogiveaslaveenoughtoeat,isregardedasthemostaggravateddevelopmentofmeannessevenamongslaveholders.
Theruleis,nomatterhowcoarsethefood,onlylettherebeenoughofit.
Thisisthetheory;andinthepartofMarylandfromwhichIcame,itisthegeneralpractice,—thoughtherearemanyexceptions.
MasterThomasgaveusenoughofneithercoarsenorfinefood.
Therewerefourslavesofusinthekitchen—mysisterEliza,myauntPriscilla,Henny,andmyself;andwewereallowedlessthanahalfofabushelofcorn-mealperweek,andNARRATIVEOFTHE46verylittleelse,eitherintheshapeofmeatorvegetables.
Itwasnotenoughforustosubsistupon.
Wewerethereforereducedtothewretchednecessityoflivingattheexpenseofourneighbors.
Thiswedidbybeggingandstealing,whichevercamehandyinthetimeofneed,theonebeingconsideredaslegitimateastheother.
Agreatmanytimeshavewepoorcreaturesbeennearlyperishingwithhunger,whenfoodinabundancelaymoulderinginthesafeandsmoke-house,andourpiousmistresswasawareofthefact;andyetthatmistressandherhusbandwouldkneeleverymorning,andpraythatGodwouldblesstheminbasketandstore!
Badasallslaveholdersare,weseldommeetonedestituteofeveryelementofcharactercommandingrespect.
Mymasterwasoneofthisraresort.
Idonotknowofonesinglenobleacteverperformedbyhim.
Theleadingtraitinhischaracterwasmeanness;andiftherewereanyotherelementinhisnature,itwasmadesubjecttothis.
Hewasmean;and,likemostothermeanmen,helackedtheabilitytoconcealhismeanness.
CaptainAuldwasnotbornaslaveholder.
Hehadbeenapoorman,masteronlyofaBaycraft.
Hecameintopossessionofallhisslavesbymarriage;andofallmen,adoptedslaveholdersaretheworst.
Hewascruel,butcowardly.
Hecommandedwithoutfirmness.
Intheenforcementofhisrules,hewasattimesrigid,andattimeslax.
Attimes,hespoketohisslaveswiththefirmnessofNapoleonandthefuryofademon;atothertimes,hemightwellbemistakenforaninquirerwhohadlosthisway.
Hedidnothingofhimself.
Hemighthavepassedforalion,butforhisears.
Inallthingsnoblewhichheattempted,hisownmeannessshonemostconspicuous.
Hisairs,words,andactions,weretheairs,words,andactionsofbornslaveholders,and,beingassumed,wereawkwardenough.
Hewasnotevenagoodimitator.
Hepossessedallthedispositiontodeceive,butwantedthepower.
Havingnoresourceswithinhimself,hewasLIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS47compelledtobethecopyistofmany,andbeingsuch,hewasforeverthevictimofinconsistency;andofconsequencehewasanobjectofcontempt,andwasheldassuchevenbyhisslaves.
Theluxuryofhavingslavesofhisowntowaituponhimwassomethingnewandunpreparedfor.
Hewasaslaveholderwithouttheabilitytoholdslaves.
Hefoundhimselfincapableofmanaginghisslaveseitherbyforce,fear,orfraud.
Weseldomcalledhim"master;"wegenerallycalledhim"CaptainAuld,"andwerehardlydisposedtotitlehimatall.
Idoubtnotthatourconducthadmuchtodowithmakinghimappearawkward,andofconsequencefretful.
Ourwantofreverenceforhimmusthaveperplexedhimgreatly.
Hewishedtohaveuscallhimmaster,butlackedthefirmnessnecessarytocommandustodoso.
Hiswifeusedtoinsistuponourcallinghimso,buttonopurpose.
InAugust,1832,mymasterattendedaMethodistcamp-meetingheldintheBay-side,Talbotcounty,andthereexperiencedreligion.
Iindulgedafainthopethathisconversionwouldleadhimtoemancipatehisslaves,andthat,ifhedidnotdothis,itwould,atanyrate,makehimmorekindandhumane.
Iwasdisappointedinboththeserespects.
Itneithermadehimtobehumanetohisslaves,nortoemancipatethem.
Ifithadanyeffectonhischaracter,itmadehimmorecruelandhatefulinallhisways;forIbelievehimtohavebeenamuchworsemanafterhisconversionthanbefore.
Priortohisconversion,herelieduponhisowndepravitytoshieldandsustainhiminhissavagebarbarity;butafterhisconversion,hefoundreligioussanctionandsupportforhisslaveholdingcruelty.
Hemadethegreatestpretensionstopiety.
Hishousewasthehouseofprayer.
Heprayedmorning,noon,andnight.
Heverysoondistinguishedhimselfamonghisbrethren,andwassoonmadeaclass-leaderandexhorter.
Hisactivityinrevivalswasgreat,andheprovedhimselfaninstrumentinthehandsofthechurchinconvertingmanysouls.
Hishousewasthepreachers'home.
NARRATIVEOFTHE48Theyusedtotakegreatpleasureincomingtheretoputup;forwhilehestarvedus,hestuffedthem.
Wehavehadthreeorfourpreachersthereatatime.
ThenamesofthosewhousedtocomemostfrequentlywhileIlivedthere,wereMr.
Storks,Mr.
Ewery,Mr.
Humphry,andMr.
Hickey.
IhavealsoseenMr.
GeorgeCookmanatourhouse.
WeslaveslovedMr.
Cookman.
Webelievedhimtobeagoodman.
WethoughthiminstrumentalingettingMr.
SamuelHarrison,averyrichslaveholder,toemancipatehisslaves;andbysomemeansgottheimpressionthathewaslaboringtoeffecttheemancipationofalltheslaves.
Whenhewasatourhouse,weweresuretobecalledintoprayers.
Whentheotherswerethere,weweresometimescalledinandsometimesnot.
Mr.
Cookmantookmorenoticeofusthaneitheroftheotherministers.
Hecouldnotcomeamonguswithoutbetrayinghissympathyforus,and,stupidaswewere,wehadthesagacitytoseeit.
WhileIlivedwithmymasterinSt.
Michael's,therewasawhiteyoungman,aMr.
Wilson,whoproposedtokeepaSabbathschoolfortheinstructionofsuchslavesasmightbedisposedtolearntoreadtheNewTestament.
Wemetbutthreetimes,whenMr.
WestandMr.
Fairbanks,bothclass-leaders,withmanyothers,cameuponuswithsticksandothermissiles,droveusoff,andforbadeustomeetagain.
ThusendedourlittleSabbathschoolinthepioustownofSt.
Michael's.
Ihavesaidmymasterfoundreligioussanctionforhiscruelty.
Asanexample,Iwillstateoneofmanyfactsgoingtoprovethecharge.
Ihaveseenhimtieupalameyoungwoman,andwhipherwithaheavycowskinuponhernakedshoulders,causingthewarmredbloodtodrip;and,injustificationofthebloodydeed,hewouldquotethispassageofScripture—"Hethatknowethhismaster'swill,anddoethitnot,shallbebeatenwithmanystripes.
"LIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS49Masterwouldkeepthislaceratedyoungwomantiedupinthishorridsituationfourorfivehoursatatime.
Ihaveknownhimtotieherupearlyinthemorning,andwhipherbeforebreakfast;leaveher,gotohisstore,returnatdinner,andwhipheragain,cuttingherintheplacesalreadymaderawwithhiscruellash.
Thesecretofmaster'scrueltytoward"Henny"isfoundinthefactofherbeingalmosthelpless.
Whenquiteachild,shefellintothefire,andburnedherselfhorribly.
Herhandsweresoburntthatshenevergottheuseofthem.
Shecoulddoverylittlebutbearheavyburdens.
Shewastomasterabillofexpense;andashewasameanman,shewasaconstantoffencetohim.
Heseemeddesirousofgettingthepoorgirloutofexistence.
Hegaveherawayoncetohissister;but,beingapoorgift,shewasnotdisposedtokeepher.
Finally,mybenevolentmaster,tousehisownwords,"setheradrifttotakecareofherself.
"Herewasarecently-convertedman,holdingonuponthemother,andatthesametimeturningoutherhelplesschild,tostarveanddie!
MasterThomaswasoneofthemanypiousslaveholderswhoholdslavesfortheverycharitablepurposeoftakingcareofthem.
Mymasterandmyselfhadquiteanumberofdifferences.
Hefoundmeunsuitabletohispurpose.
Mycitylife,hesaid,hadhadaveryperniciouseffectuponme.
Ithadalmostruinedmeforeverygoodpurpose,andfittedmeforeverythingwhichwasbad.
Oneofmygreatestfaultswasthatoflettinghishorserunaway,andgodowntohisfather-in-law'sfarm,whichwasaboutfivemilesfromSt.
Michael's.
Iwouldthenhavetogoafterit.
Myreasonforthiskindofcarelessness,orcarefulness,was,thatIcouldalwaysgetsomethingtoeatwhenIwentthere.
MasterWilliamHamilton,mymaster'sfather-in-law,alwaysgavehisslavesenoughtoeat.
Ineverlefttherehungry,nomatterhowgreattheneedofmyspeedyreturn.
MasterThomasatlengthsaidhewouldstanditnolonger.
IhadlivedwithhimNARRATIVEOFTHE50ninemonths,duringwhichtimehehadgivenmeanumberofseverewhippings,alltonogoodpurpose.
Heresolvedtoputmeout,ashesaid,tobebroken;and,forthispurpose,heletmeforoneyeartoamannamedEdwardCovey.
Mr.
Coveywasapoorman,afarm-renter.
Herentedtheplaceuponwhichhelived,asalsothehandswithwhichhetilledit.
Mr.
Coveyhadacquiredaveryhighreputationforbreakingyoungslaves,andthisreputationwasofimmensevaluetohim.
Itenabledhimtogethisfarmtilledwithmuchlessexpensetohimselfthanhecouldhavehaditdonewithoutsuchareputation.
SomeslaveholdersthoughtitnotmuchlosstoallowMr.
Coveytohavetheirslavesoneyear,forthesakeofthetrainingtowhichtheyweresubjected,withoutanyothercompensation.
Hecouldhireyounghelpwithgreatease,inconsequenceofthisreputation.
AddedtothenaturalgoodqualitiesofMr.
Covey,hewasaprofessorofreligion—apioussoul—amemberandaclass-leaderintheMethodistchurch.
Allofthisaddedweighttohisreputationasa"nigger-breaker.
"Iwasawareofallthefacts,havingbeenmadeacquaintedwiththembyayoungmanwhohadlivedthere.
Ineverthelessmadethechangegladly;forIwassureofgettingenoughtoeat,whichisnotthesmallestconsiderationtoahungryman.
LIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS51CHAPTERX.
ILEFTMasterThomas'shouse,andwenttolivewithMr.
Covey,onthe1stofJanuary,1833.
Iwasnow,forthefirsttimeinmylife,afieldhand.
Inmynewemployment,Ifoundmyselfevenmoreawkwardthanacountryboyappearedtobeinalargecity.
IhadbeenatmynewhomebutoneweekbeforeMr.
Coveygavemeaveryseverewhipping,cuttingmyback,causingthebloodtorun,andraisingridgesonmyfleshaslargeasmylittlefinger.
Thedetailsofthisaffairareasfollows:Mr.
Coveysentme,veryearlyinthemorningofoneofourcoldestdaysinthemonthofJanuary,tothewoods,togetaloadofwood.
Hegavemeateamofunbrokenoxen.
Hetoldmewhichwasthein-handox,andwhichtheoff-handone.
Hethentiedtheendofalargeropearoundthehornsofthein-handox,andgavemetheotherendofit,andtoldme,iftheoxenstartedtorun,thatImustholdonupontherope.
Ihadneverdrivenoxenbefore,andofcourseIwasveryawkward.
I,however,succeededingettingtotheedgeofthewoodswithlittledifficulty;butIhadgotaveryfewrodsintothewoods,whentheoxentookfright,andstartedfulltilt,carryingthecartagainsttrees,andoverstumps,inthemostfrightfulmanner.
Iexpectedeverymomentthatmybrainswouldbedashedoutagainstthetrees.
Afterrunningthusforaconsiderabledistance,theyfinallyupsetthecart,dashingitwithgreatforceagainstatree,andthrewthemselvesintoadensethicket.
HowIescapeddeath,Idonotknow.
ThereIwas,entirelyalone,inathickwood,inaplacenewtome.
Mycartwasupsetandshattered,myoxenwereentangledamongtheyoungtrees,andtherewasnonetohelpme.
Afteralongspellofeffort,IsucceededinNARRATIVEOFTHE52gettingmycartrighted,myoxendisentangled,andagainyokedtothecart.
InowproceededwithmyteamtotheplacewhereIhad,thedaybefore,beenchoppingwood,andloadedmycartprettyheavily,thinkinginthiswaytotamemyoxen.
Ithenproceededonmywayhome.
Ihadnowconsumedonehalfoftheday.
Igotoutofthewoodssafely,andnowfeltoutofdanger.
Istoppedmyoxentoopenthewoodsgate;andjustasIdidso,beforeIcouldgetholdofmyox-rope,theoxenagainstarted,rushedthroughthegate,catchingitbetweenthewheelandthebodyofthecart,tearingittopieces,andcomingwithinafewinchesofcrushingmeagainstthegate-post.
Thustwice,inoneshortday,Iescapeddeathbythemerestchance.
Onmyreturn,ItoldMr.
Coveywhathadhappened,andhowithappened.
Heorderedmetoreturntothewoodsagainimmediately.
Ididso,andhefollowedonafterme.
JustasIgotintothewoods,hecameupandtoldmetostopmycart,andthathewouldteachmehowtotrifleawaymytime,andbreakgates.
Hethenwenttoalargegum-tree,andwithhisaxecutthreelargeswitches,and,aftertrimmingthemupneatlywithhispocket-knife,heorderedmetotakeoffmyclothes.
Imadehimnoanswer,butstoodwithmyclotheson.
Herepeatedhisorder.
Istillmadehimnoanswer,nordidImovetostripmyself.
Uponthisherushedatmewiththefiercenessofatiger,toreoffmyclothes,andlashedmetillhehadwornouthisswitches,cuttingmesosavagelyastoleavethemarksvisibleforalongtimeafter.
Thiswhippingwasthefirstofanumberjustlikeit,andforsimilaroffences.
IlivedwithMr.
Coveyoneyear.
Duringthefirstsixmonths,ofthatyear,scarceaweekpassedwithouthiswhippingme.
Iwasseldomfreefromasoreback.
Myawkwardnesswasalmostalwayshisexcuseforwhippingme.
Wewereworkedfullyuptothepointofendurance.
Longbeforedaywewereup,ourhorsesfed,andbythefirstapproachofdaywewereofftoLIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS53thefieldwithourhoesandploughingteams.
Mr.
Coveygaveusenoughtoeat,butscarcetimetoeatit.
Wewereoftenlessthanfiveminutestakingourmeals.
Wewereofteninthefieldfromthefirstapproachofdaytillitslastlingeringrayhadleftus;andatsaving-foddertime,midnightoftencaughtusinthefieldbindingblades.
Coveywouldbeoutwithus.
Thewayheusedtostandit,wasthis.
Hewouldspendthemostofhisafternoonsinbed.
Hewouldthencomeoutfreshintheevening,readytourgeusonwithhiswords,example,andfrequentlywiththewhip.
Mr.
Coveywasoneofthefewslaveholderswhocouldanddidworkwithhishands.
Hewasahard-workingman.
Heknewbyhimselfjustwhatamanoraboycoulddo.
Therewasnodeceivinghim.
Hisworkwentoninhisabsencealmostaswellasinhispresence;andhehadthefacultyofmakingusfeelthathewaseverpresentwithus.
Thishedidbysurprisingus.
Heseldomapproachedthespotwherewewereatworkopenly,ifhecoulddoitsecretly.
Healwaysaimedattakingusbysurprise.
Suchwashiscunning,thatweusedtocallhim,amongourselves,"thesnake.
"Whenwewereatworkinthecornfield,hewouldsometimescrawlonhishandsandkneestoavoiddetection,andallatoncehewouldrisenearlyinourmidst,andscreamout,"Ha,ha!
Come,come!
Dashon,dashon!
"Thisbeinghismodeofattack,itwasneversafetostopasingleminute.
Hiscomingswerelikeathiefinthenight.
Heappearedtousasbeingeverathand.
Hewasundereverytree,behindeverystump,ineverybush,andateverywindow,ontheplantation.
Hewouldsometimesmounthishorse,asifboundtoSt.
Michael's,adistanceofsevenmiles,andinhalfanhourafterwardsyouwouldseehimcoiledupinthecornerofthewood-fence,watchingeverymotionoftheslaves.
Hewould,forthispurpose,leavehishorsetiedupinthewoods.
Again,hewouldsometimeswalkuptous,andgiveusordersasthoughheNARRATIVEOFTHE54wasuponthepointofstartingonalongjourney,turnhisbackuponus,andmakeasthoughhewasgoingtothehousetogetready;and,beforehewouldgethalfwaythither,hewouldturnshortandcrawlintoafence-corner,orbehindsometree,andtherewatchustillthegoingdownofthesun.
Mr.
Covey'sforteconsistedinhispowertodeceive.
Hislifewasdevotedtoplanningandperpetratingthegrossestdeceptions.
Everythinghepossessedintheshapeoflearningorreligion,hemadeconformtohisdispositiontodeceive.
HeseemedtothinkhimselfequaltodeceivingtheAlmighty.
Hewouldmakeashortprayerinthemorning,andalongprayeratnight;and,strangeasitmayseem,fewmenwouldattimesappearmoredevotionalthanhe.
Theexercisesofhisfamilydevotionswerealwayscommencedwithsinging;and,ashewasaverypoorsingerhimself,thedutyofraisingthehymngenerallycameuponme.
Hewouldreadhishymn,andnodatmetocommence.
Iwouldattimesdoso;atothers,Iwouldnot.
Mynon-compliancewouldalmostalwaysproducemuchconfusion.
Toshowhimselfindependentofme,hewouldstartandstaggerthroughwithhishymninthemostdiscordantmanner.
Inthisstateofmind,heprayedwithmorethanordinaryspirit.
Poorman!
suchwashisdisposition,andsuccessatdeceiving,Idoverilybelievethathesometimesdeceivedhimselfintothesolemnbelief,thathewasasincereworshipperofthemosthighGod;andthis,too,atatimewhenhemaybesaidtohavebeenguiltyofcompellinghiswomanslavetocommitthesinofadultery.
Thefactsinthecasearethese:Mr.
Coveywasapoorman;hewasjustcommencinginlife;hewasonlyabletobuyoneslave;and,shockingasisthefact,heboughther,ashesaid,forabreeder.
ThiswomanwasnamedCaroline.
Mr.
CoveyboughtherfromMr.
ThomasLowe,aboutsixmilesfromSt.
Michael's.
Shewasalarge,able-bodiedwoman,abouttwentyyearsold.
ShehadalreadygivenbirthtoLIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS55onechild,whichprovedhertobejustwhathewanted.
Afterbuyingher,hehiredamarriedmanofMr.
SamuelHarrison,tolivewithhimoneyear;andhimheusedtofastenupwithhereverynight!
Theresultwas,that,attheendoftheyear,themiserablewomangavebirthtotwins.
AtthisresultMr.
Coveyseemedtobehighlypleased,bothwiththemanandthewretchedwoman.
Suchwashisjoy,andthatofhiswife,thatnothingtheycoulddoforCarolineduringherconfinementwastoogood,ortoohard,tobedone.
Thechildrenwereregardedasbeingquiteanadditiontohiswealth.
Ifatanyonetimeofmylifemorethananother,Iwasmadetodrinkthebitterestdregsofslavery,thattimewasduringthefirstsixmonthsofmystaywithMr.
Covey.
Wewereworkedinallweathers.
Itwasnevertoohotortoocold;itcouldneverrain,blow,hail,orsnow,toohardforustoworkinthefield.
Work,work,work,wasscarcelymoretheorderofthedaythanofthenight.
Thelongestdaysweretooshortforhim,andtheshortestnightstoolongforhim.
IwassomewhatunmanageablewhenIfirstwentthere,butafewmonthsofthisdisciplinetamedme.
Mr.
Coveysucceededinbreakingme.
Iwasbrokeninbody,soul,andspirit.
Mynaturalelasticitywascrushed,myintellectlanguished,thedispositiontoreaddeparted,thecheerfulsparkthatlingeredaboutmyeyedied;thedarknightofslaveryclosedinuponme;andbeholdamantransformedintoabrute!
Sundaywasmyonlyleisuretime.
Ispentthisinasortofbeast-likestupor,betweensleepandwake,undersomelargetree.
AttimesIwouldriseup,aflashofenergeticfreedomwoulddartthroughmysoul,accompaniedwithafaintbeamofhope,thatflickeredforamoment,andthenvanished.
Isankdownagain,mourningovermywretchedcondition.
Iwassometimespromptedtotakemylife,andthatofCovey,butwasNARRATIVEOFTHE56preventedbyacombinationofhopeandfear.
Mysufferingsonthisplantationseemnowlikeadreamratherthanasternreality.
OurhousestoodwithinafewrodsoftheChesapeakeBay,whosebroadbosomwaseverwhitewithsailsfromeveryquarterofthehabitableglobe.
Thosebeautifulvessels,robedinpurestwhite,sodelightfultotheeyeoffreemen,weretomesomanyshroudedghosts,toterrifyandtormentmewiththoughtsofmywretchedcondition.
Ihaveoften,inthedeepstillnessofasummer'sSabbath,stoodallaloneupontheloftybanksofthatnoblebay,andtraced,withsaddenedheartandtearfuleye,thecountlessnumberofsailsmovingofftothemightyocean.
Thesightofthesealwaysaffectedmepowerfully.
Mythoughtswouldcompelutterance;andthere,withnoaudiencebuttheAlmighty,Iwouldpouroutmysoul'scomplaint,inmyrudeway,withanapostrophetothemovingmultitudeofships:—"Youareloosedfromyourmoorings,andarefree;Iamfastinmychains,andamaslave!
Youmovemerrilybeforethegentlegale,andIsadlybeforethebloodywhip!
Youarefreedom'sswift-wingedangels,thatflyroundtheworld;Iamconfinedinbandsofiron!
OthatIwerefree!
O,thatIwereononeofyourgallantdecks,andunderyourprotectingwing!
Alas!
betwixtmeandyou,theturbidwatersroll.
Goon,goon.
OthatIcouldalsogo!
CouldIbutswim!
IfIcouldfly!
O,whywasIbornaman,ofwhomtomakeabrute!
Thegladshipisgone;shehidesinthedimdistance.
Iamleftinthehottesthellofunendingslavery.
OGod,saveme!
God,deliverme!
Letmebefree!
IsthereanyGodWhyamIaslaveIwillrunaway.
Iwillnotstandit.
Getcaught,orgetclear,I'lltryit.
Ihadaswelldiewithagueasthefever.
Ihaveonlyonelifetolose.
Ihadaswellbekilledrunningasdiestanding.
Onlythinkofit;onehundredmilesstraightnorth,andIamfree!
TryitYes!
Godhelpingme,Iwill.
ItcannotbethatIshallliveanddieaslave.
Iwilltaketothewater.
ThisverybayshallyetbearmeintoLIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS57freedom.
Thesteamboatssteeredinanorth-eastcoursefromNorthPoint.
Iwilldothesame;andwhenIgettotheheadofthebay,Iwillturnmycanoeadrift,andwalkstraightthroughDelawareintoPennsylvania.
WhenIgetthere,Ishallnotberequiredtohaveapass;Icantravelwithoutbeingdisturbed.
Letbutthefirstopportunityoffer,and,comewhatwill,Iamoff.
Meanwhile,Iwilltrytobearupundertheyoke.
Iamnottheonlyslaveintheworld.
WhyshouldIfretIcanbearasmuchasanyofthem.
Besides,Iambutaboy,andallboysareboundtosomeone.
ItmaybethatmymiseryinslaverywillonlyincreasemyhappinesswhenIgetfree.
Thereisabetterdaycoming.
"ThusIusedtothink,andthusIusedtospeaktomyself;goadedalmosttomadnessatonemoment,andatthenextreconcilingmyselftomywretchedlot.
Ihavealreadyintimatedthatmyconditionwasmuchworse,duringthefirstsixmonthsofmystayatMr.
Covey's,thaninthelastsix.
ThecircumstancesleadingtothechangeinMr.
Covey'scoursetowardmeformanepochinmyhumblehistory.
Youhaveseenhowamanwasmadeaslave;youshallseehowaslavewasmadeaman.
OnoneofthehottestdaysofthemonthofAugust,1833,BillSmith,WilliamHughes,aslavenamedEli,andmyself,wereengagedinfanningwheat.
Hugheswasclearingthefannedwheatfrombeforethefan.
Eliwasturning,Smithwasfeeding,andIwascarryingwheattothefan.
Theworkwassimple,requiringstrengthratherthanintellect;yet,tooneentirelyunusedtosuchwork,itcameveryhard.
Aboutthreeo'clockofthatday,Ibrokedown;mystrengthfailedme;Iwasseizedwithaviolentachingofthehead,attendedwithextremedizziness;Itrembledineverylimb.
Findingwhatwascoming,Inervedmyselfup,feelingitwouldneverdotostopwork.
IstoodaslongasIcouldstaggertothehopperwithgrain.
WhenIcouldstandnolonger,Ifell,andfeltNARRATIVEOFTHE58asifhelddownbyanimmenseweight.
Thefanofcoursestopped;everyonehadhisownworktodo;andnoonecoulddotheworkoftheother,andhavehisowngoonatthesametime.
Mr.
Coveywasatthehouse,aboutonehundredyardsfromthetreading-yardwherewewerefanning.
Onhearingthefanstop,heleftimmediately,andcametothespotwherewewere.
Hehastilyinquiredwhatthematterwas.
BillansweredthatIwassick,andtherewasnoonetobringwheattothefan.
Ihadbythistimecrawledawayunderthesideofthepostandrail-fencebywhichtheyardwasenclosed,hopingtofindreliefbygettingoutofthesun.
HethenaskedwhereIwas.
Hewastoldbyoneofthehands.
Hecametothespot,and,afterlookingatmeawhile,askedmewhatwasthematter.
ItoldhimaswellasIcould,forIscarcehadstrengthtospeak.
Hethengavemeasavagekickintheside,andtoldmetogetup.
Itriedtodoso,butfellbackintheattempt.
Hegavemeanotherkick,andagaintoldmetorise.
Iagaintried,andsucceededingainingmyfeet;but,stoopingtogetthetubwithwhichIwasfeedingthefan,Iagainstaggeredandfell.
Whiledowninthissituation,Mr.
CoveytookupthehickoryslatwithwhichHugheshadbeenstrikingoffthehalf-bushelmeasure,andwithitgavemeaheavyblowuponthehead,makingalargewound,andthebloodranfreely;andwiththisagaintoldmetogetup.
Imadenoefforttocomply,havingnowmadeupmymindtolethimdohisworst.
Inashorttimeafterreceivingthisblow,myheadgrewbetter.
Mr.
Coveyhadnowleftmetomyfate.
AtthismomentIresolved,forthefirsttime,togotomymaster,enteracomplaint,andaskhisprotection.
Inordertodothis,Imustthatafternoonwalksevenmiles;andthis,underthecircumstances,wastrulyasevereundertaking.
Iwasexceedinglyfeeble;madesoasmuchbythekicksandblowswhichIreceived,asbytheseverefitofsicknesstowhichIhadbeensubjected.
I,however,LIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS59watchedmychance,whileCoveywaslookinginanoppositedirection,andstartedforSt.
Michael's.
Isucceededingettingaconsiderabledistanceonmywaytothewoods,whenCoveydiscoveredme,andcalledaftermetocomeback,threateningwhathewoulddoifIdidnotcome.
Idisregardedbothhiscallsandhisthreats,andmademywaytothewoodsasfastasmyfeeblestatewouldallow;andthinkingImightbeoverhauledbyhimifIkepttheroad,Iwalkedthroughthewoods,keepingfarenoughfromtheroadtoavoiddetection,andnearenoughtopreventlosingmyway.
Ihadnotgonefarbeforemylittlestrengthagainfailedme.
Icouldgonofarther.
Ifelldown,andlayforaconsiderabletime.
Thebloodwasyetoozingfromthewoundonmyhead.
ForatimeIthoughtIshouldbleedtodeath;andthinknowthatIshouldhavedoneso,butthatthebloodsomattedmyhairastostopthewound.
Afterlyingthereaboutthreequartersofanhour,Inervedmyselfupagain,andstartedonmyway,throughbogsandbriers,barefootedandbareheaded,tearingmyfeetsometimesatnearlyeverystep;andafterajourneyofaboutsevenmiles,occupyingsomefivehourstoperformit,Iarrivedatmaster'sstore.
Ithenpresentedanappearanceenoughtoaffectanybutaheartofiron.
Fromthecrownofmyheadtomyfeet,Iwascoveredwithblood.
Myhairwasallclottedwithdustandblood;myshirtwasstiffwithblood.
IsupposeIlookedlikeamanwhohadescapedadenofwildbeasts,andbarelyescapedthem.
InthisstateIappearedbeforemymaster,humblyentreatinghimtointerposehisauthorityformyprotection.
ItoldhimallthecircumstancesaswellasIcould,anditseemed,asIspoke,attimestoaffecthim.
Hewouldthenwalkthefloor,andseektojustifyCoveybysayingheexpectedIdeservedit.
HeaskedmewhatIwanted.
Itoldhim,toletmegetanewhome;thatassureasIlivedwithMr.
Coveyagain,Ishouldlivewithbuttodiewithhim;thatCoveywouldsurelykillme;hewasinafairwayforit.
MasterNARRATIVEOFTHE60ThomasridiculedtheideathattherewasanydangerofMr.
Covey'skillingme,andsaidthatheknewMr.
Covey;thathewasagoodman,andthathecouldnotthinkoftakingmefromhim;that,shouldhedoso,hewouldlosethewholeyear'swages;thatIbelongedtoMr.
Coveyforoneyear,andthatImustgobacktohim,comewhatmight;andthatImustnottroublehimwithanymorestories,orthathewouldhimselfgetholdofme.
Afterthreateningmethus,hegavemeaverylargedoseofsalts,tellingmethatImightremaininSt.
Michael'sthatnight,(itbeingquitelate,)butthatImustbeoffbacktoMr.
Covey'searlyinthemorning;andthatifIdidnot,hewouldgetholdofme,whichmeantthathewouldwhipme.
Iremainedallnight,and,accordingtohisorders,IstartedofftoCovey'sinthemorning,(Saturdaymorning,)weariedinbodyandbrokeninspirit.
Igotnosupperthatnight,orbreakfastthatmorning.
IreachedCovey'saboutnineo'clock;andjustasIwasgettingoverthefencethatdividedMrs.
Kemp'sfieldsfromours,outranCoveywithhiscowskin,togivemeanotherwhipping.
Beforehecouldreachme,Isucceededingettingtothecornfield;andasthecornwasveryhigh,itaffordedmethemeansofhiding.
Heseemedveryangry,andsearchedformealongtime.
Mybehaviorwasaltogetherunaccountable.
Hefinallygaveupthechase,thinking,Isuppose,thatImustcomehomeforsomethingtoeat;hewouldgivehimselfnofurthertroubleinlookingforme.
Ispentthatdaymostlyinthewoods,havingthealternativebeforeme,—togohomeandbewhippedtodeath,orstayinthewoodsandbestarvedtodeath.
Thatnight,IfellinwithSandyJenkins,aslavewithwhomIwassomewhatacquainted.
SandyhadafreewifewholivedaboutfourmilesfromMr.
Covey's;anditbeingSaturday,hewasonhiswaytoseeher.
Itoldhimmycircumstances,andheverykindlyinvitedmetogohomewithhim.
Iwenthomewithhim,andtalkedthiswholematterover,andgothisadviceastowhatLIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS61courseitwasbestformetopursue.
IfoundSandyanoldadviser.
Hetoldme,withgreatsolemnity,ImustgobacktoCovey;butthatbeforeIwent,Imustgowithhimintoanotherpartofthewoods,wheretherewasacertainroot,which,ifIwouldtakesomeofitwithme,carryingitalwaysonmyrightside,wouldrenderitimpossibleforMr.
Covey,oranyotherwhiteman,towhipme.
Hesaidhehadcarrieditforyears;andsincehehaddoneso,hehadneverreceivedablow,andneverexpectedtowhilehecarriedit.
Iatfirstrejectedtheidea,thatthesimplecarryingofarootinmypocketwouldhaveanysucheffectashehadsaid,andwasnotdisposedtotakeit;butSandyimpressedthenecessitywithmuchearnestness,tellingmeitcoulddonoharm,ifitdidnogood.
Topleasehim,Iatlengthtooktheroot,and,accordingtohisdirection,carriedituponmyrightside.
ThiswasSundaymorning.
Iimmediatelystartedforhome;anduponenteringtheyardgate,outcameMr.
Coveyonhiswaytomeeting.
Hespoketomeverykindly,bademedrivethepigsfromalotnearby,andpassedontowardsthechurch.
Now,thissingularconductofMr.
CoveyreallymademebegintothinkthattherewassomethingintherootwhichSandyhadgivenme;andhaditbeenonanyotherdaythanSunday,Icouldhaveattributedtheconducttonoothercausethantheinfluenceofthatroot;andasitwas,IwashalfinclinedtothinktheroottobesomethingmorethanIatfirsthadtakenittobe.
AllwentwelltillMondaymorning.
Onthismorning,thevirtueoftherootwasfullytested.
Longbeforedaylight,Iwascalledtogoandrub,curry,andfeed,thehorses.
Iobeyed,andwasgladtoobey.
Butwhilstthusengaged,whilstintheactofthrowingdownsomebladesfromtheloft,Mr.
Coveyenteredthestablewithalongrope;andjustasIwashalfoutoftheloft,hecaughtholdofmylegs,andwasabouttyingme.
AssoonasIfoundwhathewasupto,Igaveasuddenspring,andasIdidso,heholdingtomylegs,Iwasbroughtsprawlingonthestablefloor.
NARRATIVEOFTHE62Mr.
Coveyseemednowtothinkhehadme,andcoulddowhathepleased;butatthismoment—fromwhencecamethespiritIdon'tknow—Iresolvedtofight;and,suitingmyactiontotheresolution,IseizedCoveyhardbythethroat;andasIdidso,Irose.
Heheldontome,andItohim.
MyresistancewassoentirelyunexpectedthatCoveyseemedtakenallaback.
Hetrembledlikealeaf.
Thisgavemeassurance,andIheldhimuneasy,causingthebloodtorunwhereItouchedhimwiththeendsofmyfingers.
Mr.
CoveysooncalledouttoHughesforhelp.
Hughescame,and,whileCoveyheldme,attemptedtotiemyrighthand.
Whilehewasintheactofdoingso,Iwatchedmychance,andgavehimaheavykickcloseundertheribs.
ThiskickfairlysickenedHughes,sothatheleftmeinthehandsofMr.
Covey.
ThiskickhadtheeffectofnotonlyweakeningHughes,butCoveyalso.
WhenhesawHughesbendingoverwithpain,hiscouragequailed.
HeaskedmeifImeanttopersistinmyresistance.
ItoldhimIdid,comewhatmight;thathehadusedmelikeabruteforsixmonths,andthatIwasdeterminedtobeusedsonolonger.
Withthat,hestrovetodragmetoastickthatwaslyingjustoutofthestabledoor.
Hemeanttoknockmedown.
Butjustashewasleaningovertogetthestick,Iseizedhimwithbothhandsbyhiscollar,andbroughthimbyasuddensnatchtotheground.
Bythistime,Billcame.
Coveycalleduponhimforassistance.
Billwantedtoknowwhathecoulddo.
Coveysaid,"Takeholdofhim,takeholdofhim!
"Billsaidhismasterhiredhimouttowork,andnottohelptowhipme;soheleftCoveyandmyselftofightourownbattleout.
Wewereatitfornearlytwohours.
Coveyatlengthletmego,puffingandblowingatagreatrate,sayingthatifIhadnotresisted,hewouldnothavewhippedmehalfsomuch.
Thetruthwas,thathehadnotwhippedmeatall.
Iconsideredhimasgettingentirelytheworstendofthebargain;forhehaddrawnnobloodfromme,butIhadfromhim.
ThewholesixmonthsLIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS63afterwards,thatIspentwithMr.
Covey,heneverlaidtheweightofhisfingeruponmeinanger.
Hewouldoccasionallysay,hedidn'twanttogetholdofmeagain.
"No,"thoughtI,"youneednot;foryouwillcomeoffworsethanyoudidbefore.
"ThisbattlewithMr.
Coveywastheturning-pointinmycareerasaslave.
Itrekindledthefewexpiringembersoffreedom,andrevivedwithinmeasenseofmyownmanhood.
Itrecalledthedepartedself-confidence,andinspiredmeagainwithadeterminationtobefree.
Thegratificationaffordedbythetriumphwasafullcompensationforwhateverelsemightfollow,evendeathitself.
HeonlycanunderstandthedeepsatisfactionwhichIexperienced,whohashimselfrepelledbyforcethebloodyarmofslavery.
IfeltasIneverfeltbefore.
Itwasagloriousresurrection,fromthetombofslavery,totheheavenoffreedom.
Mylong-crushedspiritrose,cowardicedeparted,bolddefiancetookitsplace;andInowresolvedthat,howeverlongImightremainaslaveinform,thedayhadpassedforeverwhenIcouldbeaslaveinfact.
Ididnothesitatetoletitbeknownofme,thatthewhitemanwhoexpectedtosucceedinwhipping,mustalsosucceedinkillingme.
FromthistimeIwasneveragainwhatmightbecalledfairlywhipped,thoughIremainedaslavefouryearsafterwards.
Ihadseveralfights,butwasneverwhipped.
ItwasforalongtimeamatterofsurprisetomewhyMr.
Coveydidnotimmediatelyhavemetakenbytheconstabletothewhipping-post,andthereregularlywhippedforthecrimeofraisingmyhandagainstawhitemanindefenceofmyself.
AndtheonlyexplanationIcannowthinkofdoesnotentirelysatisfyme;butsuchasitis,Iwillgiveit.
Mr.
Coveyenjoyedthemostunboundedreputationforbeingafirst-rateoverseerandnegro-breaker.
Itwasofconsiderableimportancetohim.
Thatreputationwasatstake;andhadhesentme—aboyaboutNARRATIVEOFTHE64sixteenyearsold—tothepublicwhipping-post,hisreputationwouldhavebeenlost;so,tosavehisreputation,hesufferedmetogounpunished.
MytermofactualservicetoMr.
EdwardCoveyendedonChristmasday,1833.
ThedaysbetweenChristmasandNewYear'sdayareallowedasholidays;and,accordingly,wewerenotrequiredtoperformanylabor,morethantofeedandtakecareofthestock.
Thistimeweregardedasourown,bythegraceofourmasters;andwethereforeusedorabuseditnearlyaswepleased.
Thoseofuswhohadfamiliesatadistance,weregenerallyallowedtospendthewholesixdaysintheirsociety.
Thistime,however,wasspentinvariousways.
Thestaid,sober,thinkingandindustriousonesofournumberwouldemploythemselvesinmakingcorn-brooms,mats,horse-collars,andbaskets;andanotherclassofuswouldspendthetimeinhuntingopossums,hares,andcoons.
Butbyfarthelargerpartengagedinsuchsportsandmerrimentsasplayingball,wrestling,runningfoot-races,fiddling,dancing,anddrinkingwhisky;andthislattermodeofspendingthetimewasbyfarthemostagreeabletothefeelingsofourmasters.
Aslavewhowouldworkduringtheholidayswasconsideredbyourmastersasscarcelydeservingthem.
Hewasregardedasonewhorejectedthefavorofhismaster.
ItwasdeemedadisgracenottogetdrunkatChristmas;andhewasregardedaslazyindeed,whohadnotprovidedhimselfwiththenecessarymeans,duringtheyear,togetwhiskyenoughtolasthimthroughChristmas.
FromwhatIknowoftheeffectoftheseholidaysupontheslave,Ibelievethemtobeamongthemosteffectivemeansinthehandsoftheslaveholderinkeepingdownthespiritofinsurrection.
Weretheslaveholdersatoncetoabandonthispractice,Ihavenottheslightestdoubtitwouldleadtoanimmediateinsurrectionamongtheslaves.
Theseholidaysserveasconductors,orsafety-valves,tocarryofftherebelliousspiritLIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS65ofenslavedhumanity.
Butforthese,theslavewouldbeforceduptothewildestdesperation;andwoebetidetheslaveholder,thedayheventurestoremoveorhindertheoperationofthoseconductors!
Iwarnhimthat,insuchanevent,aspiritwillgoforthintheirmidst,moretobedreadedthanthemostappallingearthquake.
Theholidaysarepartandparcelofthegrossfraud,wrong,andinhumanityofslavery.
Theyareprofessedlyacustomestablishedbythebenevolenceoftheslaveholders;butIundertaketosay,itistheresultofselfishness,andoneofthegrossestfraudscommitteduponthedown-troddenslave.
Theydonotgivetheslavesthistimebecausetheywouldnotliketohavetheirworkduringitscontinuance,butbecausetheyknowitwouldbeunsafetodeprivethemofit.
Thiswillbeseenbythefact,thattheslaveholdersliketohavetheirslavesspendthosedaysjustinsuchamannerastomakethemasgladoftheirendingasoftheirbeginning.
Theirobjectseemstobe,todisgusttheirslaveswithfreedom,byplungingthemintothelowestdepthsofdissipation.
Forinstance,theslaveholdersnotonlyliketoseetheslavedrinkofhisownaccord,butwilladoptvariousplanstomakehimdrunk.
Oneplanis,tomakebetsontheirslaves,astowhocandrinkthemostwhiskywithoutgettingdrunk;andinthiswaytheysucceedingettingwholemultitudestodrinktoexcess.
Thus,whentheslaveasksforvirtuousfreedom,thecunningslaveholder,knowinghisignorance,cheatshimwithadoseofviciousdissipation,artfullylabelledwiththenameofliberty.
Themostofususedtodrinkitdown,andtheresultwasjustwhatmightbesupposed:manyofuswereledtothinkthattherewaslittletochoosebetweenlibertyandslavery.
Wefelt,andveryproperlytoo,thatwehadalmostaswellbeslavestomanastorum.
So,whentheholidaysended,westaggeredupfromthefilthofourwallowing,tookalongbreath,andmarchedtothefield,—NARRATIVEOFTHE66feeling,uponthewhole,rathergladtogo,fromwhatourmasterhaddeceivedusintoabeliefwasfreedom,backtothearmsofslavery.
Ihavesaidthatthismodeoftreatmentisapartofthewholesystemoffraudandinhumanityofslavery.
Itisso.
Themodehereadoptedtodisgusttheslavewithfreedom,byallowinghimtoseeonlytheabuseofit,iscarriedoutinotherthings.
Forinstance,aslavelovesmolasses;hestealssome.
Hismaster,inmanycases,goesofftotown,andbuysalargequantity;hereturns,takeshiswhip,andcommandstheslavetoeatthemolasses,untilthepoorfellowismadesickattheverymentionofit.
Thesamemodeissometimesadoptedtomaketheslavesrefrainfromaskingformorefoodthantheirregularallowance.
Aslaverunsthroughhisallowance,andappliesformore.
Hismasterisenragedathim;but,notwillingtosendhimoffwithoutfood,giveshimmorethanisnecessary,andcompelshimtoeatitwithinagiventime.
Then,ifhecomplainsthathecannoteatit,heissaidtobesatisfiedneitherfullnorfasting,andiswhippedforbeinghardtoplease!
Ihaveanabundanceofsuchillustrationsofthesameprinciple,drawnfrommyownobservation,butthinkthecasesIhavecitedsufficient.
Thepracticeisaverycommonone.
OnthefirstofJanuary,1834,IleftMr.
Covey,andwenttolivewithMr.
WilliamFreeland,wholivedaboutthreemilesfromSt.
Michael's.
IsoonfoundMr.
FreelandaverydifferentmanfromMr.
Covey.
Thoughnotrich,hewaswhatwouldbecalledaneducatedsoutherngentleman.
Mr.
Covey,asIhaveshown,wasawell-trainednegro-breakerandslave-driver.
Theformer(slaveholderthoughhewas)seemedtopossesssomeregardforhonor,somereverenceforjustice,andsomerespectforhumanity.
Thelatterseemedtotallyinsensibletoallsuchsentiments.
Mr.
Freelandhadmanyofthefaultspeculiartoslaveholders,suchasbeingverypassionateandfretful;butILIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS67mustdohimthejusticetosay,thathewasexceedinglyfreefromthosedegradingvicestowhichMr.
Coveywasconstantlyaddicted.
Theonewasopenandfrank,andwealwaysknewwheretofindhim.
Theotherwasamostartfuldeceiver,andcouldbeunderstoodonlybysuchaswereskilfulenoughtodetecthiscunningly-devisedfrauds.
AnotheradvantageIgainedinmynewmasterwas,hemadenopretensionsto,orprofessionof,religion;andthis,inmyopinion,wastrulyagreatadvantage.
Iassertmostunhesitatingly,thatthereligionofthesouthisamerecoveringforthemosthorridcrimes,—ajustifierofthemostappallingbarbarity,—asanctifierofthemosthatefulfrauds,—andadarkshelterunder,whichthedarkest,foulest,grossest,andmostinfernaldeedsofslaveholdersfindthestrongestprotection.
WereItobeagainreducedtothechainsofslavery,nexttothatenslavement,Ishouldregardbeingtheslaveofareligiousmasterthegreatestcalamitythatcouldbefallme.
ForofallslaveholderswithwhomIhaveevermet,religiousslaveholdersaretheworst.
Ihaveeverfoundthemthemeanestandbasest,themostcruelandcowardly,ofallothers.
Itwasmyunhappylotnotonlytobelongtoareligiousslaveholder,buttoliveinacommunityofsuchreligionists.
VerynearMr.
FreelandlivedtheRev.
DanielWeeden,andinthesameneighborhoodlivedtheRev.
RigbyHopkins.
TheseweremembersandministersintheReformedMethodistChurch.
Mr.
Weedenowned,amongothers,awomanslave,whosenameIhaveforgotten.
Thiswoman'sback,forweeks,waskeptliterallyraw,madesobythelashofthismerciless,religiouswretch.
Heusedtohirehands.
Hismaximwas,Behavewellorbehaveill,itisthedutyofamasteroccasionallytowhipaslave,toremindhimofhismaster'sauthority.
Suchwashistheory,andsuchhispractice.
Mr.
HopkinswasevenworsethanMr.
Weeden.
Hischiefboastwashisabilitytomanageslaves.
ThepeculiarfeatureofNARRATIVEOFTHE68hisgovernmentwasthatofwhippingslavesinadvanceofdeservingit.
HealwaysmanagedtohaveoneormoreofhisslavestowhipeveryMondaymorning.
Hedidthistoalarmtheirfears,andstriketerrorintothosewhoescaped.
Hisplanwastowhipforthesmallestoffences,topreventthecommissionoflargeones.
Mr.
Hopkinscouldalwaysfindsomeexcuseforwhippingaslave.
Itwouldastonishone,unaccustomedtoaslaveholdinglife,toseewithwhatwonderfuleaseaslaveholdercanfindthings,ofwhichtomakeoccasiontowhipaslave.
Amerelook,word,ormotion,—amistake,accident,orwantofpower,—areallmattersforwhichaslavemaybewhippedatanytime.
DoesaslavelookdissatisfiedItissaid,hehasthedevilinhim,anditmustbewhippedout.
DoeshespeakloudlywhenspokentobyhismasterThenheisgettinghigh-minded,andshouldbetakendownabutton-holelower.
DoesheforgettopulloffhishatattheapproachofawhitepersonThenheiswantinginreverence,andshouldbewhippedforit.
Doesheeverventuretovindicatehisconduct,whencensuredforitThenheisguiltyofimpudence,—oneofthegreatestcrimesofwhichaslavecanbeguilty.
DoesheeverventuretosuggestadifferentmodeofdoingthingsfromthatpointedoutbyhismasterHeisindeedpresumptuous,andgettingabovehimself;andnothinglessthanafloggingwilldoforhim.
Doeshe,whileploughing,breakaplough,—or,whilehoeing,breakahoeItisowingtohiscarelessness,andforitaslavemustalwaysbewhipped.
Mr.
Hopkinscouldalwaysfindsomethingofthissorttojustifytheuseofthelash,andheseldomfailedtoembracesuchopportunities.
Therewasnotamaninthewholecounty,withwhomtheslaveswhohadthegettingtheirownhome,wouldnotprefertolive,ratherthanwiththisRev.
Mr.
Hopkins.
Andyettherewasnotamananywhereround,whomadehigherprofessionsofreligion,orwasmoreactiveinrevivals,—moreattentivetotheclass,love-feast,LIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS69prayerandpreachingmeetings,ormoredevotionalinhisfamily,—thatprayedearlier,later,louder,andlonger,—thanthissamereverendslave-driver,RigbyHopkins.
ButtoreturntoMr.
Freeland,andtomyexperiencewhileinhisemployment.
He,likeMr.
Covey,gaveusenoughtoeat;but,unlikeMr.
Covey,healsogaveussufficienttimetotakeourmeals.
Heworkedushard,butalwaysbetweensunriseandsunset.
Herequiredagooddealofworktobedone,butgaveusgoodtoolswithwhichtowork.
Hisfarmwaslarge,butheemployedhandsenoughtoworkit,andwithease,comparedwithmanyofhisneighbors.
Mytreatment,whileinhisemployment,washeavenly,comparedwithwhatIexperiencedatthehandsofMr.
EdwardCovey.
Mr.
Freelandwashimselftheownerofbuttwoslaves.
TheirnameswereHenryHarrisandJohnHarris.
Therestofhishandshehired.
Theseconsistedofmyself,SandyJenkins,*andHandyCaldwell.
HenryandJohnwerequiteintelligent,andinaverylittlewhileafterIwentthere,Isucceededincreatinginthemastrongdesiretolearnhowtoread.
Thisdesiresoonsprangupintheothersalso.
Theyverysoonmusteredupsomeoldspelling-books,andnothingwoulddobutthatImustkeepaSabbathschool.
Iagreedtodoso,andaccordinglydevotedmySundaystoteachingthesemylovedfellow-slaveshowtoread.
NeitherofthemknewhisletterswhenIwentthere.
Someoftheslavesoftheneighboringfarmsfoundwhatwasgoingon,andalsoavailedthemselvesofthislittleopportunitytolearntoread.
Itwasunderstood,amongallwhocame,thattheremustbeas*ThisisthesamemanwhogavemetherootstopreventmybeingwhippedbyMr.
Covey.
Hewas"acleversoul.
"WeusedfrequentlytotalkaboutthefightwithCovey,andasoftenaswedidso,hewouldclaimmysuccessastheresultoftherootswhichhegaveme.
Thissuperstitionisverycommonamongthemoreignorantslaves.
Aslaveseldomdiesbutthathisdeathisattributedtotrickery.
NARRATIVEOFTHE70littledisplayaboutitaspossible.
ItwasnecessarytokeepourreligiousmastersatSt.
Michael'sunacquaintedwiththefact,that,insteadofspendingtheSabbathinwrestling,boxing,anddrinkingwhisky,weweretryingtolearnhowtoreadthewillofGod;fortheyhadmuchratherseeusengagedinthosedegradingsports,thantoseeusbehavinglikeintellectual,moral,andaccountablebeings.
MybloodboilsasIthinkofthebloodymannerinwhichMessrs.
WrightFairbanksandGarrisonWest,bothclass-leaders,inconnectionwithmanyothers,rushedinuponuswithsticksandstones,andbrokeupourvirtuouslittleSabbathschool,atSt.
Michael's—allcallingthemselvesChristians!
humblefollowersoftheLordJesusChrist!
ButIamagaindigressing.
IheldmySabbathschoolatthehouseofafreecoloredman,whosenameIdeemitimprudenttomention;forshoulditbeknown,itmightembarrasshimgreatly,thoughthecrimeofholdingtheschoolwascommittedtenyearsago.
Ihadatonetimeoverfortyscholars,andthoseoftherightsort,ardentlydesiringtolearn.
Theywereofallages,thoughmostlymenandwomen.
IlookbacktothoseSundayswithanamountofpleasurenottobeexpressed.
Theyweregreatdaystomysoul.
Theworkofinstructingmydearfellow-slaveswasthesweetestengagementwithwhichIwaseverblessed.
Welovedeachother,andtoleavethematthecloseoftheSabbathwasaseverecrossindeed.
WhenIthinkthattheseprecioussoulsareto-dayshutupintheprison-houseofslavery,myfeelingsovercomeme,andIamalmostreadytoask,"DoesarighteousGodgoverntheuniverseandforwhatdoesheholdthethundersinhisrighthand,ifnottosmitetheoppressor,anddeliverthespoiledoutofthehandofthespoiler"ThesedearsoulscamenottoSabbathschoolbecauseitwaspopulartodoso,nordidIteachthembecauseitwasreputabletobethusengaged.
Everymomenttheyspentinthatschool,theywereliabletobetakenLIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS71up,andgiventhirty-ninelashes.
Theycamebecausetheywishedtolearn.
Theirmindshadbeenstarvedbytheircruelmasters.
Theyhadbeenshutupinmentaldarkness.
Itaughtthem,becauseitwasthedelightofmysoultobedoingsomethingthatlookedlikebetteringtheconditionofmyrace.
IkeptupmyschoolnearlythewholeyearIlivedwithMr.
Freeland;and,besidemySabbathschool,Idevotedthreeeveningsintheweek,duringthewinter,toteachingtheslavesathome.
AndIhavethehappinesstoknow,thatseveralofthosewhocametoSabbathschoollearnedhowtoread;andthatone,atleast,isnowfreethroughmyagency.
Theyearpassedoffsmoothly.
Itseemedonlyabouthalfaslongastheyearwhichprecededit.
Iwentthroughitwithoutreceivingasingleblow.
IwillgiveMr.
FreelandthecreditofbeingthebestmasterIeverhad,tillIbecamemyownmaster.
FortheeasewithwhichIpassedtheyear,Iwas,however,somewhatindebtedtothesocietyofmyfellow-slaves.
Theywerenoblesouls;theynotonlypossessedlovinghearts,butbraveones.
Wewerelinkedandinterlinkedwitheachother.
IlovedthemwithalovestrongerthananythingIhaveexperiencedsince.
Itissometimessaidthatweslavesdonotloveandconfideineachother.
Inanswertothisassertion,Icansay,Ineverlovedanyorconfidedinanypeoplemorethanmyfellow-slaves,andespeciallythosewithwhomIlivedatMr.
Freeland's.
Ibelievewewouldhavediedforeachother.
Weneverundertooktodoanything,ofanyimportance,withoutamutualconsultation.
Wenevermovedseparately.
Wewereone;andasmuchsobyourtempersanddispositions,asbythemutualhardshipstowhichwewerenecessarilysubjectedbyourconditionasslaves.
Atthecloseoftheyear1834,Mr.
Freelandagainhiredmeofmymaster,fortheyear1835.
But,bythistime,IbegantowanttoliveuponfreelandaswellaswithFreeland;andIwasNARRATIVEOFTHE72nolongercontent,therefore,tolivewithhimoranyotherslaveholder.
Ibegan,withthecommencementoftheyear,topreparemyselfforafinalstruggle,whichshoulddecidemyfateonewayortheother.
Mytendencywasupward.
Iwasfastapproachingmanhood,andyearafteryearhadpassed,andIwasstillaslave.
Thesethoughtsrousedme—Imustdosomething.
Ithereforeresolvedthat1835shouldnotpasswithoutwitnessinganattempt,onmypart,tosecuremyliberty.
ButIwasnotwillingtocherishthisdeterminationalone.
Myfellow-slavesweredeartome.
Iwasanxioustohavethemparticipatewithmeinthis,mylife-givingdetermination.
Itherefore,thoughwithgreatprudence,commencedearlytoascertaintheirviewsandfeelingsinregardtotheircondition,andtoimbuetheirmindswiththoughtsoffreedom.
Ibentmyselftodevisingwaysandmeansforourescape,andmeanwhilestrove,onallfittingoccasions,toimpressthemwiththegrossfraudandinhumanityofslavery.
IwentfirsttoHenry,nexttoJohn,thentotheothers.
Ifound,inthemall,warmheartsandnoblespirits.
Theywerereadytohear,andreadytoactwhenafeasibleplanshouldbeproposed.
ThiswaswhatIwanted.
Italkedtothemofourwantofmanhood,ifwesubmittedtoourenslavementwithoutatleastonenobleefforttobefree.
Wemetoften,andconsultedfrequently,andtoldourhopesandfears,recountedthedifficulties,realandimagined,whichweshouldbecalledontomeet.
Attimeswewerealmostdisposedtogiveup,andtrytocontentourselveswithourwretchedlot;atothers,wewerefirmandunbendinginourdeterminationtogo.
Wheneverwesuggestedanyplan,therewasshrinking—theoddswerefearful.
Ourpathwasbesetwiththegreatestobstacles;andifwesucceededingainingtheendofit,ourrighttobefreewasyetquestionable—wewereyetliabletobereturnedtobondage.
Wecouldseenospot,thissideoftheocean,wherewecouldbefree.
WeknewnothingaboutCanada.
LIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS73OurknowledgeofthenorthdidnotextendfartherthanNewYork;andtogothere,andbeforeverharassedwiththefrightfulliabilityofbeingreturnedtoslavery—withthecertaintyofbeingtreatedtenfoldworsethanbefore—thethoughtwastrulyahorribleone,andonewhichitwasnoteasytoovercome.
Thecasesometimesstoodthus:Ateverygatethroughwhichweweretopass,wesawawatchman—ateveryferryaguard—oneverybridgeasentinel—andineverywoodapatrol.
Wewerehemmedinuponeveryside.
Herewerethedifficulties,realorimagined—thegoodtobesought,andtheeviltobeshunned.
Ontheonehand,therestoodslavery,asternreality,glaringfrightfullyuponus,—itsrobesalreadycrimsonedwiththebloodofmillions,andevennowfeastingitselfgreedilyuponourownflesh.
Ontheotherhand,awaybackinthedimdistance,undertheflickeringlightofthenorthstar,behindsomecraggyhillorsnow-coveredmountain,stoodadoubtfulfreedom—halffrozen—beckoningustocomeandshareitshospitality.
Thisinitselfwassometimesenoughtostaggerus;butwhenwepermittedourselvestosurveytheroad,wewerefrequentlyappalled.
Uponeithersidewesawgrimdeath,assumingthemosthorridshapes.
Nowitwasstarvation,causingustoeatourownflesh;—nowwewerecontendingwiththewaves,andweredrowned;—nowwewereovertaken,andtorntopiecesbythefangsoftheterriblebloodhound.
Wewerestungbyscorpions,chasedbywildbeasts,bittenbysnakes,andfinally,afterhavingnearlyreachedthedesiredspot,—afterswimmingrivers,encounteringwildbeasts,sleepinginthewoods,sufferinghungerandnakedness,—wewereovertakenbyourpursuers,and,inourresistance,wewereshotdeaduponthespot!
Isay,thispicturesometimesappalledus,andmadeus"ratherbearthoseillswehad,Thanflytoothers,thatweknewnotof.
"NARRATIVEOFTHE74Incomingtoafixeddeterminationtorunaway,wedidmorethanPatrickHenry,whenheresolveduponlibertyordeath.
Withusitwasadoubtfullibertyatmost,andalmostcertaindeathifwefailed.
Formypart,Ishouldpreferdeathtohopelessbondage.
Sandy,oneofournumber,gaveupthenotion,butstillencouragedus.
OurcompanythenconsistedofHenryHarris,JohnHarris,HenryBailey,CharlesRoberts,andmyself.
HenryBaileywasmyuncle,andbelongedtomymaster.
Charlesmarriedmyaunt:hebelongedtomymaster'sfather-in-law,Mr.
WilliamHamilton.
Theplanwefinallyconcludeduponwas,togetalargecanoebelongingtoMr.
Hamilton,andupontheSaturdaynightprevioustoEasterholidays,paddledirectlyuptheChesapeakeBay.
Onourarrivalattheheadofthebay,adistanceofseventyoreightymilesfromwherewelived,itwasourpurposetoturnourcanoeadrift,andfollowtheguidanceofthenorthstartillwegotbeyondthelimitsofMaryland.
Ourreasonfortakingthewaterroutewas,thatwewerelessliabletobesuspectedasrunaways;wehopedtoberegardedasfishermen;whereas,ifweshouldtakethelandroute,weshouldbesubjectedtointerruptionsofalmosteverykind.
Anyonehavingawhiteface,andbeingsodisposed,couldstopus,andsubjectustoexamination.
Theweekbeforeourintendedstart,Iwroteseveralprotections,oneforeachofus.
AswellasIcanremember,theywereinthefollowingwords,towit:—"THISistocertifythatI,theundersigned,havegiventhebearer,myservant,fulllibertytogotoBaltimore,andspendtheEasterholidays.
Writtenwithmineownhand,&c.
,1835.
"WILLIAMHAMILTON,"NearSt.
Michael's,inTalbotcounty,Maryland.
"LIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS75WewerenotgoingtoBaltimore;but,ingoingupthebay,wewenttowardBaltimore,andtheseprotectionswereonlyintendedtoprotectuswhileonthebay.
Asthetimedrewnearforourdeparture,ouranxietybecamemoreandmoreintense.
Itwastrulyamatteroflifeanddeathwithus.
Thestrengthofourdeterminationwasabouttobefullytested.
Atthistime,Iwasveryactiveinexplainingeverydifficulty,removingeverydoubt,dispellingeveryfear,andinspiringallwiththefirmnessindispensabletosuccessinourundertaking;assuringthemthathalfwasgainedtheinstantwemadethemove;wehadtalkedlongenough;wewerenowreadytomove;ifnotnow,wenevershouldbe;andifwedidnotintendtomovenow,wehadaswellfoldourarms,sitdown,andacknowledgeourselvesfitonlytobeslaves.
This,noneofuswerepreparedtoacknowledge.
Everymanstoodfirm;andatourlastmeeting,wepledgedourselvesafresh,inthemostsolemnmanner,that,atthetimeappointed,wewouldcertainlystartinpursuitoffreedom.
Thiswasinthemiddleoftheweek,attheendofwhichweweretobeoff.
Wewent,asusual,toourseveralfieldsoflabor,butwithbosomshighlyagitatedwiththoughtsofourtrulyhazardousundertaking.
Wetriedtoconcealourfeelingsasmuchaspossible;andIthinkwesucceededverywell.
Afterapainfulwaiting,theSaturdaymorning,whosenightwastowitnessourdeparture,came.
Ihaileditwithjoy,bringwhatofsadnessitmight.
Fridaynightwasasleeplessoneforme.
Iprobablyfeltmoreanxiousthantherest,becauseIwas,bycommonconsent,attheheadofthewholeaffair.
Theresponsibilityofsuccessorfailurelayheavilyuponme.
Thegloryoftheone,andtheconfusionoftheother,werealikemine.
ThefirsttwohoursofthatmorningweresuchasIneverexperiencedbefore,andhopenevertoagain.
Earlyinthemorning,wewent,asusual,tothefield.
WewerespreadingNARRATIVEOFTHE76manure;andallatonce,whilethusengaged,Iwasoverwhelmedwithanindescribablefeeling,inthefulnessofwhichIturnedtoSandy,whowasnearby,andsaid,"Wearebetrayed!
""Well,"saidhe,"thatthoughthasthismomentstruckme.
"Wesaidnomore.
Iwasnevermorecertainofanything.
Thehornwasblownasusual,andwewentupfromthefieldtothehouseforbreakfast.
Iwentfortheform,morethanforwantofanythingtoeatthatmorning.
JustasIgottothehouse,inlookingoutatthelanegate,Isawfourwhitemen,withtwocoloredmen.
Thewhitemenwereonhorseback,andthecoloredoneswerewalkingbehind,asiftied.
Iwatchedthemafewmomentstilltheygotuptoourlanegate.
Heretheyhalted,andtiedthecoloredmentothegate-post.
Iwasnotyetcertainastowhatthematterwas.
Inafewmoments,inrodeMr.
Hamilton,withaspeedbetokeninggreatexcitement.
Hecametothedoor,andinquiredifMasterWilliamwasin.
Hewastoldhewasatthebarn.
Mr.
Hamilton,withoutdismounting,rodeuptothebarnwithextraordinaryspeed.
Inafewmoments,heandMr.
Freelandreturnedtothehouse.
Bythistime,thethreeconstablesrodeup,andingreathastedismounted,tiedtheirhorses,andmetMasterWilliamandMr.
Hamiltonreturningfromthebarn;andaftertalkingawhile,theyallwalkeduptothekitchendoor.
TherewasnooneinthekitchenbutmyselfandJohn.
HenryandSandywereupatthebarn.
Mr.
Freelandputhisheadinatthedoor,andcalledmebyname,saying,thereweresomegentlemenatthedoorwhowishedtoseeme.
Isteppedtothedoor,andinquiredwhattheywanted.
Theyatonceseizedme,and,withoutgivingmeanysatisfaction,tiedme—lashingmyhandscloselytogether.
Iinsisteduponknowingwhatthematterwas.
Theyatlengthsaid,thattheyhadlearnedIhadbeenina"scrape,"andthatIwastoLIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS77beexaminedbeforemymaster;andiftheirinformationprovedfalse,Ishouldnotbehurt.
Inafewmoments,theysucceededintyingJohn.
TheythenturnedtoHenry,whohadbythistimereturned,andcommandedhimtocrosshishands.
"Iwon't!
"saidHenry,inafirmtone,indicatinghisreadinesstomeettheconsequencesofhisrefusal.
"Won'tyou"saidTomGraham,theconstable.
"No,Iwon't!
"saidHenry,inastillstrongertone.
Withthis,twooftheconstablespulledouttheirshiningpistols,andswore,bytheirCreator,thattheywouldmakehimcrosshishandsorkillhim.
Eachcockedhispistol,and,withfingersonthetrigger,walkeduptoHenry,saying,atthesametime,ifhedidnotcrosshishands,theywouldblowhisdamnedheartout.
"Shootme,shootme!
"saidHenry;"youcan'tkillmebutonce.
Shoot,shoot,—andbedamned!
Iwon'tbetied!
"Thishesaidinatoneoflouddefiance;andatthesametime,withamotionasquickaslightning,hewithonesinglestrokedashedthepistolsfromthehandofeachconstable.
Ashedidthis,allhandsfelluponhim,and,afterbeatinghimsometime,theyfinallyoverpoweredhim,andgothimtied.
Duringthescuffle,Imanaged,Iknownothow,togetmypassout,and,withoutbeingdiscovered,putitintothefire.
Wewereallnowtied;andjustasweweretoleaveforEastonjail,BetsyFreeland,motherofWilliamFreeland,cametothedoorwithherhandsfullofbiscuits,anddividedthembetweenHenryandJohn.
Shethendeliveredherselfofaspeech,tothefollowingeffect:—addressingherselftome,shesaid,"Youdevil!
Youyellowdevil!
itwasyouthatputitintotheheadsofHenryandJohntorunaway.
Butforyou,youlong-leggedmulattodevil!
HenrynorJohnwouldneverhavethoughtofsuchathing.
"Imadenoreply,andwasimmediatelyhurriedofftowardsSt.
Michael's.
JustamomentprevioustothescufflewithHenry,Mr.
HamiltonsuggestedtheproprietyofmakingaNARRATIVEOFTHE78searchfortheprotectionswhichhehadunderstoodFrederickhadwrittenforhimselfandtherest.
But,justatthemomenthewasaboutcarryinghisproposalintoeffect,hisaidwasneededinhelpingtotieHenry;andtheexcitementattendingthescufflecausedthemeithertoforget,ortodeemitunsafe,underthecircumstances,tosearch.
Sowewerenotyetconvictedoftheintentiontorunaway.
WhenwegotabouthalfwaytoSt.
Michael's,whiletheconstableshavingusinchargewerelookingahead,Henryinquiredofmewhatheshoulddowithhispass.
Itoldhimtoeatitwithhisbiscuit,andownnothing;andwepassedthewordaround,"Ownnothing;"and"Ownnothing!
"saidweall.
Ourconfidenceineachotherwasunshaken.
Wewereresolvedtosucceedorfailtogether,afterthecalamityhadbefallenusasmuchasbefore.
Wewerenowpreparedforanything.
Weweretobedraggedthatmorningfifteenmilesbehindhorses,andthentobeplacedintheEastonjail.
WhenwereachedSt.
Michael's,weunderwentasortofexamination.
Wealldeniedthatweeverintendedtorunaway.
Wedidthismoretobringouttheevidenceagainstus,thanfromanyhopeofgettingclearofbeingsold;for,asIhavesaid,wewerereadyforthat.
Thefactwas,wecaredbutlittlewherewewent,sowewenttogether.
Ourgreatestconcernwasaboutseparation.
Wedreadedthatmorethananythingthissideofdeath.
Wefoundtheevidenceagainstustobethetestimonyofoneperson;ourmasterwouldnottellwhoitwas;butwecametoaunanimousdecisionamongourselvesastowhotheirinformantwas.
WeweresentofftothejailatEaston.
Whenwegotthere,weweredelivereduptothesheriff,Mr.
JosephGraham,andbyhimplacedinjail.
Henry,John,andmyself,wereplacedinoneroomtogether—Charles,andHenryBailey,inanother.
Theirobjectinseparatinguswastohinderconcert.
LIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS79Wehadbeeninjailscarcelytwentyminutes,whenaswarmofslavetraders,andagentsforslavetraders,flockedintojailtolookatus,andtoascertainifwewereforsale.
SuchasetofbeingsIneversawbefore!
Ifeltmyselfsurroundedbysomanyfiendsfromperdition.
Abandofpiratesneverlookedmoreliketheirfather,thedevil.
Theylaughedandgrinnedoverus,saying,"Ah,myboys!
wehavegotyou,haven'twe"Andaftertauntingusinvariousways,theyonebyonewentintoanexaminationofus,withintenttoascertainourvalue.
Theywouldimpudentlyaskusifwewouldnotliketohavethemforourmasters.
Wewouldmakethemnoanswer,andleavethemtofindoutasbesttheycould.
Thentheywouldcurseandswearatus,tellingusthattheycouldtakethedeviloutofusinaverylittlewhile,ifwewereonlyintheirhands.
Whileinjail,wefoundourselvesinmuchmorecomfortablequartersthanweexpectedwhenwewentthere.
Wedidnotgetmuchtoeat,northatwhichwasverygood;butwehadagoodcleanroom,fromthewindowsofwhichwecouldseewhatwasgoingoninthestreet,whichwasverymuchbetterthanthoughwehadbeenplacedinoneofthedark,dampcells.
Uponthewhole,wegotalongverywell,sofarasthejailanditskeeperwereconcerned.
Immediatelyaftertheholidayswereover,contrarytoallourexpectations,Mr.
HamiltonandMr.
FreelandcameuptoEaston,andtookCharles,thetwoHenrys,andJohn,outofjail,andcarriedthemhome,leavingmealone.
Iregardedthisseparationasafinalone.
Itcausedmemorepainthananythingelseinthewholetransaction.
Iwasreadyforanythingratherthanseparation.
Isupposedthattheyhadconsultedtogether,andhaddecidedthat,asIwasthewholecauseoftheintentionoftheotherstorunaway,itwashardtomaketheinnocentsufferwiththeguilty;andthattheyhad,therefore,concludedtotaketheothershome,andsellme,asawarningtotheothersthatremained.
ItisduetothenobleHenrytosay,heNARRATIVEOFTHE80seemedalmostasreluctantatleavingtheprisonasatleavinghometocometotheprison.
Butweknewweshould,inallprobability,beseparated,ifweweresold;andsincehewasintheirhands,heconcludedtogopeaceablyhome.
Iwasnowlefttomyfate.
Iwasallalone,andwithinthewallsofastoneprison.
Butafewdaysbefore,andIwasfullofhope.
Iexpectedtohavebeensafeinalandoffreedom;butnowIwascoveredwithgloom,sunkdowntotheutmostdespair.
Ithoughtthepossibilityoffreedomwasgone.
Iwaskeptinthiswayaboutoneweek,attheendofwhich,CaptainAuld,mymaster,tomysurpriseandutterastonishment,cameup,andtookmeout,withtheintentionofsendingme,withagentlemanofhisacquaintance,intoAlabama.
But,fromsomecauseorother,hedidnotsendmetoAlabama,butconcludedtosendmebacktoBaltimore,toliveagainwithhisbrotherHugh,andtolearnatrade.
Thus,afteranabsenceofthreeyearsandonemonth,IwasoncemorepermittedtoreturntomyoldhomeatBaltimore.
Mymastersentmeaway,becausethereexistedagainstmeaverygreatprejudiceinthecommunity,andhefearedImightbekilled.
InafewweeksafterIwenttoBaltimore,MasterHughhiredmetoMr.
WilliamGardner,anextensiveship-builder,onFell'sPoint.
Iwasputtheretolearnhowtocalk.
It,however,provedaveryunfavorableplacefortheaccomplishmentofthisobject.
Mr.
Gardnerwasengagedthatspringinbuildingtwolargeman-of-warbrigs,professedlyfortheMexicangovernment.
ThevesselsweretobelaunchedintheJulyofthatyear,andinfailurethereof,Mr.
Gardnerwastoloseaconsiderablesum;sothatwhenIentered,allwashurry.
Therewasnotimetolearnanything.
Everymanhadtodothatwhichheknewhowtodo.
Inenteringtheshipyard,myordersfromMr.
Gardnerwere,todowhateverthecarpenterscommandedLIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS81metodo.
Thiswasplacingmeatthebeckandcallofaboutseventy-fivemen.
Iwastoregardalltheseasmasters.
Theirwordwastobemylaw.
Mysituationwasamosttryingone.
AttimesIneededadozenpairofhands.
Iwascalledadozenwaysinthespaceofasingleminute.
Threeorfourvoiceswouldstrikemyearatthesamemoment.
Itwas—"Fred.
,comehelpmetocantthistimberhere.
"—"Fred.
,comecarrythistimberyonder.
"—"Fred.
,bringthatrollerhere.
"—"Fred.
,gogetafreshcanofwater.
"—"Fred.
,comehelpsawofftheendofthistimber.
"—"Fred.
,goquick,andgetthecrowbar.
"—"Fred.
,holdontheendofthisfall.
"—"Fred.
,gototheblacksmith'sshop,andgetanewpunch.
"—"Hurra,Fred.
!
runandbringmeacoldchisel.
"—"Isay,Fred.
,bearahand,andgetupafireasquickaslightningunderthatsteam-box.
"—"Halloo,nigger!
come,turnthisgrindstone.
"—"Come,come!
move,move!
andbowsethistimberforward.
"—"Isay,darky,blastyoureyes,whydon'tyouheatupsomepitch"—"Halloo!
halloo!
halloo!
"(Threevoicesatthesametime.
)"Comehere!
—Gothere!
—Holdonwhereyouare!
Damnyou,ifyoumove,I'llknockyourbrainsout!
"Thiswasmyschoolforeightmonths;andImighthaveremainedtherelonger,butforamosthorridfightIhadwithfourofthewhiteapprentices,inwhichmylefteyewasnearlyknockedout,andIwashorriblymangledinotherrespects.
Thefactsinthecasewerethese:UntilaverylittlewhileafterIwentthere,whiteandblackship-carpentersworkedsidebyside,andnooneseemedtoseeanyimproprietyinit.
Allhandsseemedtobeverywellsatisfied.
Manyoftheblackcarpenterswerefreemen.
Thingsseemedtobegoingonverywell.
Allatonce,thewhitecarpentersknockedoff,andsaidtheywouldnotworkwithfreecoloredworkmen.
Theirreasonforthis,asalleged,was,thatiffreecoloredcarpenterswereencouraged,theywouldsoontakethetradeintotheirownhands,andpoorwhiteNARRATIVEOFTHE82menwouldbethrownoutofemployment.
Theythereforefeltcalleduponatoncetoputastoptoit.
And,takingadvantageofMr.
Gardner'snecessities,theybrokeoff,swearingtheywouldworknolonger,unlesshewoulddischargehisblackcarpenters.
Now,thoughthisdidnotextendtomeinform,itdidreachmeinfact.
Myfellow-apprenticesverysoonbegantofeelitdegradingtothemtoworkwithme.
Theybegantoputonairs,andtalkaboutthe"niggers"takingthecountry,sayingwealloughttobekilled;and,beingencouragedbythejourneymen,theycommencedmakingmyconditionashardastheycould,byhectoringmearound,andsometimesstrikingme.
I,ofcourse,keptthevowImadeafterthefightwithMr.
Covey,andstruckbackagain,regardlessofconsequences;andwhileIkeptthemfromcombining,Isucceededverywell;forIcouldwhipthewholeofthem,takingthemseparately.
They,however,atlengthcombined,andcameuponme,armedwithsticks,stones,andheavyhandspikes.
Onecameinfrontwithahalfbrick.
Therewasoneateachsideofme,andonebehindme.
WhileIwasattendingtothoseinfront,andoneitherside,theonebehindranupwiththehandspike,andstruckmeaheavyblowuponthehead.
Itstunnedme.
Ifell,andwiththistheyallranuponme,andfelltobeatingmewiththeirfists.
Iletthemlayonforawhile,gatheringstrength.
Inaninstant,Igaveasuddensurge,androsetomyhandsandknees.
JustasIdidthat,oneoftheirnumbergaveme,withhisheavyboot,apowerfulkickinthelefteye.
Myeyeballseemedtohaveburst.
Whentheysawmyeyeclosed,andbadlyswollen,theyleftme.
WiththisIseizedthehandspike,andforatimepursuedthem.
Butherethecarpentersinterfered,andIthoughtImightaswellgiveitup.
Itwasimpossibletostandmyhandagainstsomany.
Allthistookplaceinsightofnotlessthanfiftywhiteship-carpenters,andnotoneinterposedafriendlyword;butsomecried,"Killthedamnednigger!
Killhim!
killhim!
Hestruckawhiteperson.
"ILIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS83foundmyonlychanceforlifewasinflight.
Isucceededingettingawaywithoutanadditionalblow,andbarelyso;fortostrikeawhitemanisdeathbyLynchlaw,—andthatwasthelawinMr.
Gardner'sship-yard;noristheremuchofanyotheroutofMr.
Gardner'sship-yard.
Iwentdirectlyhome,andtoldthestoryofmywrongstoMasterHugh;andIamhappytosayofhim,irreligiousashewas,hisconductwasheavenly,comparedwiththatofhisbrotherThomasundersimilarcircumstances.
Helistenedattentivelytomynarrationofthecircumstancesleadingtothesavageoutrage,andgavemanyproofsofhisstrongindignationatit.
Theheartofmyonceoverkindmistresswasagainmeltedintopity.
Mypuffed-outeyeandblood-coveredfacemovedhertotears.
Shetookachairbyme,washedthebloodfrommyface,and,withamother'stenderness,boundupmyhead,coveringthewoundedeyewithaleanpieceoffreshbeef.
Itwasalmostcompensationformysufferingtowitness,oncemore,amanifestationofkindnessfromthis,myonceaffectionateoldmistress.
MasterHughwasverymuchenraged.
Hegaveexpressiontohisfeelingsbypouringoutcursesupontheheadsofthosewhodidthedeed.
AssoonasIgotalittlethebetterofmybruises,hetookmewithhimtoEsquireWatson's,onBondStreet,toseewhatcouldbedoneaboutthematter.
Mr.
Watsoninquiredwhosawtheassaultcommitted.
MasterHughtoldhimitwasdoneinMr.
Gardner'sship-yardatmidday,wheretherewerealargecompanyofmenatwork.
"Astothat,"hesaid,"thedeedwasdone,andtherewasnoquestionastowhodidit.
"Hisanswerwas,hecoulddonothinginthecase,unlesssomewhitemanwouldcomeforwardandtestify.
Hecouldissuenowarrantonmyword.
IfIhadbeenkilledinthepresenceofathousandcoloredpeople,theirtestimonycombinedwouldhavebeeninsufficienttohavearrestedoneofthemurderers.
MasterHugh,foronce,wascompelledtosayNARRATIVEOFTHE84thisstateofthingswastoobad.
Ofcourse,itwasimpossibletogetanywhitemantovolunteerhistestimonyinmybehalf,andagainstthewhiteyoungmen.
Eventhosewhomayhavesympathizedwithmewerenotpreparedtodothis.
Itrequiredadegreeofcourageunknowntothemtodoso;forjustatthattime,theslightestmanifestationofhumanitytowardacoloredpersonwasdenouncedasabolitionism,andthatnamesubjecteditsbearertofrightfulliabilities.
Thewatchwordsofthebloody-mindedinthatregion,andinthosedays,were,"Damntheabolitionists!
"and"Damntheniggers!
"Therewasnothingdone,andprobablynothingwouldhavebeendoneifIhadbeenkilled.
Suchwas,andsuchremains,thestateofthingsintheChristiancityofBaltimore.
MasterHugh,findinghecouldgetnoredress,refusedtoletmegobackagaintoMr.
Gardner.
Hekeptmehimself,andhiswifedressedmywoundtillIwasagainrestoredtohealth.
Hethentookmeintotheship-yardofwhichhewasforeman,intheemploymentofMr.
WalterPrice.
ThereIwasimmediatelysettocalking,andverysoonlearnedtheartofusingmymalletandirons.
InthecourseofoneyearfromthetimeIleftMr.
Gardner's,Iwasabletocommandthehighestwagesgiventothemostexperiencedcalkers.
Iwasnowofsomeimportancetomymaster.
Iwasbringinghimfromsixtosevendollarsperweek.
Isometimesbroughthimninedollarsperweek:mywageswereadollarandahalfaday.
Afterlearninghowtocalk,Isoughtmyownemployment,mademyowncontracts,andcollectedthemoneywhichIearned.
Mypathwaybecamemuchmoresmooththanbefore;myconditionwasnowmuchmorecomfortable.
WhenIcouldgetnocalkingtodo,Ididnothing.
Duringtheseleisuretimes,thoseoldnotionsaboutfreedomwouldstealovermeagain.
WheninMr.
Gardner'semployment,Iwaskeptinsuchaperpetualwhirlofexcitement,Icouldthinkofnothing,scarcely,butmylife;andinthinkingLIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS85ofmylife,Ialmostforgotmyliberty.
Ihaveobservedthisinmyexperienceofslavery,—thatwhenevermyconditionwasimproved,insteadofitsincreasingmycontentment,itonlyincreasedmydesiretobefree,andsetmetothinkingofplanstogainmyfreedom.
Ihavefoundthat,tomakeacontentedslave,itisnecessarytomakeathoughtlessone.
Itisnecessarytodarkenhismoralandmentalvision,and,asfaraspossible,toannihilatethepowerofreason.
Hemustbeabletodetectnoinconsistenciesinslavery;hemustbemadetofeelthatslaveryisright;andhecanbebroughttothatonlywhenheceasestobeaman.
Iwasnowgetting,asIhavesaid,onedollarandfiftycentsperday.
Icontractedforit;Iearnedit;itwaspaidtome;itwasrightfullymyown;yet,uponeachreturningSaturdaynight,IwascompelledtodelivereverycentofthatmoneytoMasterHugh.
AndwhyNotbecauseheearnedit,—notbecausehehadanyhandinearningit,—notbecauseIowedittohim,—norbecausehepossessedtheslightestshadowofarighttoit;butsolelybecausehehadthepowertocompelmetogiveitup.
Therightofthegrim-visagedpirateuponthehighseasisexactlythesame.
NARRATIVEOFTHE86CHAPTERXI.
INOWcometothatpartofmylifeduringwhichIplanned,andfinallysucceededinmaking,myescapefromslavery.
Butbeforenarratinganyofthepeculiarcircumstances,Ideemitpropertomakeknownmyintentionnottostateallthefactsconnectedwiththetransaction.
Myreasonsforpursuingthiscoursemaybeunderstoodfromthefollowing:First,wereItogiveaminutestatementofallthefacts,itisnotonlypossible,butquiteprobable,thatotherswouldtherebybeinvolvedinthemostembarrassingdifficulties.
Secondly,suchastatementwouldmostundoubtedlyinducegreatervigilanceonthepartofslaveholdersthanhasexistedheretoforeamongthem;whichwould,ofcourse,bethemeansofguardingadoorwherebysomedearbrotherbondmanmightescapehisgallingchains.
Ideeplyregretthenecessitythatimpelsmetosuppressanythingofimportanceconnectedwithmyexperienceinslavery.
Itwouldaffordmegreatpleasureindeed,aswellasmateriallyaddtotheinterestofmynarrative,wereIatlibertytogratifyacuriosity,whichIknowexistsinthemindsofmany,byanaccuratestatementofallthefactspertainingtomymostfortunateescape.
ButImustdeprivemyselfofthispleasure,andthecuriousofthegratificationwhichsuchastatementwouldafford.
Iwouldallowmyselftosufferunderthegreatestimputationswhichevil-mindedmenmightsuggest,ratherthanexculpatemyself,andtherebyrunthehazardofclosingtheslightestavenuebywhichabrotherslavemightclearhimselfofthechainsandfettersofslavery.
IhaveneverapprovedoftheverypublicmannerinwhichsomeofourwesternfriendshaveconductedwhattheycalltheLIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS87undergroundrailroad,butwhichIthink,bytheiropendeclarations,hasbeenmademostemphaticallytheuppergroundrailroad.
Ihonorthosegoodmenandwomenfortheirnobledaring,andapplaudthemforwillinglysubjectingthemselvestobloodypersecution,byopenlyavowingtheirparticipationintheescapeofslaves.
I,however,canseeverylittlegoodresultingfromsuchacourse,eithertothemselvesortheslavesescaping;while,upontheotherhand,Iseeandfeelassuredthatthoseopendeclarationsareapositiveeviltotheslavesremaining,whoareseekingtoescape.
Theydonothingtowardsenlighteningtheslave,whilsttheydomuchtowardsenlighteningthemaster.
Theystimulatehimtogreaterwatchfulness,andenhancehispowertocapturehisslave.
Weowesomethingtotheslavesouthofthelineaswellastothosenorthofit;andinaidingthelatterontheirwaytofreedom,weshouldbecarefultodonothingwhichwouldbelikelytohindertheformerfromescapingfromslavery.
Iwouldkeepthemercilessslaveholderprofoundlyignorantofthemeansofflightadoptedbytheslave.
Iwouldleavehimtoimaginehimselfsurroundedbymyriadsofinvisibletormentors,everreadytosnatchfromhisinfernalgrasphistremblingprey.
Lethimbelefttofeelhiswayinthedark;letdarknesscommensuratewithhiscrimehoveroverhim;andlethimfeelthatateverystephetakes,inpursuitoftheflyingbondman,heisrunningthefrightfulriskofhavinghishotbrainsdashedoutbyaninvisibleagency.
Letusrenderthetyrantnoaid;letusnotholdthelightbywhichhecantracethefootprintsofourflyingbrother.
Butenoughofthis.
Iwillnowproceedtothestatementofthosefacts,connectedwithmyescape,forwhichIamaloneresponsible,andforwhichnoonecanbemadetosufferbutmyself.
Intheearlypartoftheyear1838,Ibecamequiterestless.
IcouldseenoreasonwhyIshould,attheendofeachweek,pourNARRATIVEOFTHE88therewardofmytoilintothepurseofmymaster.
WhenIcarriedtohimmyweeklywages,hewould,aftercountingthemoney,lookmeinthefacewitharobber-likefierceness,andask,"Isthisall"Hewassatisfiedwithnothinglessthanthelastcent.
Hewould,however,whenImadehimsixdollars,sometimesgivemesixcents,toencourageme.
Ithadtheoppositeeffect.
Iregardeditasasortofadmissionofmyrighttothewhole.
Thefactthathegavemeanypartofmywageswasproof,tomymind,thathebelievedmeentitledtothewholeofthem.
Ialwaysfeltworseforhavingreceivedanything;forIfearedthatthegivingmeafewcentswouldeasehisconscience,andmakehimfeelhimselftobeaprettyhonorablesortofrobber.
Mydiscontentgrewuponme.
Iwaseveronthelook-outformeansofescape;and,findingnodirectmeans,Ideterminedtotrytohiremytime,withaviewofgettingmoneywithwhichtomakemyescape.
Inthespringof1838,whenMasterThomascametoBaltimoretopurchasehisspringgoods,Igotanopportunity,andappliedtohimtoallowmetohiremytime.
Heunhesitatinglyrefusedmyrequest,andtoldmethiswasanotherstratagembywhichtoescape.
HetoldmeIcouldgonowherebutthathecouldgetme;andthat,intheeventofmyrunningaway,heshouldsparenopainsinhiseffortstocatchme.
Heexhortedmetocontentmyself,andbeobedient.
Hetoldme,ifIwouldbehappy,Imustlayoutnoplansforthefuture.
Hesaid,ifIbehavedmyselfproperly,hewouldtakecareofme.
Indeed,headvisedmetocompletethoughtlessnessofthefuture,andtaughtmetodependsolelyuponhimforhappiness.
Heseemedtoseefullythepressingnecessityofsettingasidemyintellectualnature,inordertocontentmentinslavery.
Butinspiteofhim,andeveninspiteofmyself,Icontinuedtothink,andtothinkabouttheinjusticeofmyenslavement,andthemeansofescape.
LIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS89Abouttwomonthsafterthis,IappliedtoMasterHughfortheprivilegeofhiringmytime.
HewasnotacquaintedwiththefactthatIhadappliedtoMasterThomas,andhadbeenrefused.
Hetoo,atfirst,seemeddisposedtorefuse;but,aftersomereflection,hegrantedmetheprivilege,andproposedthefollowingterms:Iwastobeallowedallmytime,makeallcontractswiththoseforwhomIworked,andfindmyownemployment;and,inreturnforthisliberty,Iwastopayhimthreedollarsattheendofeachweek;findmyselfincalkingtools,andinboardandclothing.
Myboardwastwodollarsandahalfperweek.
This,withthewearandtearofclothingandcalkingtools,mademyregularexpensesaboutsixdollarsperweek.
ThisamountIwascompelledtomakeup,orrelinquishtheprivilegeofhiringmytime.
Rainorshine,workornowork,attheendofeachweekthemoneymustbeforthcoming,orImustgiveupmyprivilege.
Thisarrangement,itwillbeperceived,wasdecidedlyinmymaster'sfavor.
Itrelievedhimofallneedoflookingafterme.
Hismoneywassure.
Hereceivedallthebenefitsofslaveholdingwithoutitsevils;whileIenduredalltheevilsofaslave,andsufferedallthecareandanxietyofafreeman.
Ifounditahardbargain.
But,hardasitwas,Ithoughtitbetterthantheoldmodeofgettingalong.
Itwasasteptowardsfreedomtobeallowedtobeartheresponsibilitiesofafreeman,andIwasdeterminedtoholdonuponit.
Ibentmyselftotheworkofmakingmoney.
Iwasreadytoworkatnightaswellasday,andbythemostuntiringperseveranceandindustry,Imadeenoughtomeetmyexpenses,andlayupalittlemoneyeveryweek.
IwentonthusfromMaytillAugust.
MasterHughthenrefusedtoallowmetohiremytimelonger.
Thegroundforhisrefusalwasafailureonmypart,oneSaturdaynight,topayhimformyweek'stime.
ThisfailurewasoccasionedbymyattendingacampmeetingabouttenmilesfromBaltimore.
Duringtheweek,IhadenteredintoanNARRATIVEOFTHE90engagementwithanumberofyoungfriendstostartfromBaltimoretothecampgroundearlySaturdayevening;andbeingdetainedbymyemployer,IwasunabletogetdowntoMasterHugh'swithoutdisappointingthecompany.
IknewthatMasterHughwasinnospecialneedofthemoneythatnight.
Ithereforedecidedtogotocampmeeting,anduponmyreturnpayhimthethreedollars.
IstaidatthecampmeetingonedaylongerthanIintendedwhenIleft.
ButassoonasIreturned,Icalleduponhimtopayhimwhatheconsideredhisdue.
Ifoundhimveryangry;hecouldscarcerestrainhiswrath.
Hesaidhehadagreatmindtogivemeaseverewhipping.
HewishedtoknowhowIdaredgooutofthecitywithoutaskinghispermission.
ItoldhimIhiredmytimeandwhileIpaidhimthepricewhichheaskedforit,IdidnotknowthatIwasboundtoaskhimwhenandwhereIshouldgo.
Thisreplytroubledhim;and,afterreflectingafewmoments,heturnedtome,andsaidIshouldhiremytimenolonger;thatthenextthingheshouldknowof,Iwouldberunningaway.
Uponthesameplea,hetoldmetobringmytoolsandclothinghomeforthwith.
Ididso;butinsteadofseekingwork,asIhadbeenaccustomedtodopreviouslytohiringmytime,Ispentthewholeweekwithouttheperformanceofasinglestrokeofwork.
Ididthisinretaliation.
Saturdaynight,hecalleduponmeasusualformyweek'swages.
ItoldhimIhadnowages;Ihaddonenoworkthatweek.
Herewewereuponthepointofcomingtoblows.
Heraved,andsworehisdeterminationtogetholdofme.
Ididnotallowmyselfasingleword;butwasresolved,ifhelaidtheweightofhishanduponme,itshouldbeblowforblow.
Hedidnotstrikeme,buttoldmethathewouldfindmeinconstantemploymentinfuture.
Ithoughtthematteroverduringthenextday,Sunday,andfinallyresolveduponthethirddayofSeptember,asthedayuponwhichIwouldmakeasecondattempttosecuremyfreedom.
InowhadthreeweeksduringLIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS91whichtoprepareformyjourney.
EarlyonMondaymorning,beforeMasterHughhadtimetomakeanyengagementforme,IwentoutandgotemploymentofMr.
Butler,athisship-yardnearthedrawbridge,uponwhatiscalledtheCityBlock,thusmakingitunnecessaryforhimtoseekemploymentforme.
Attheendoftheweek,Ibroughthimbetweeneightandninedollars.
Heseemedverywellpleased,andaskedwhyIdidnotdothesametheweekbefore.
Helittleknewwhatmyplanswere.
Myobjectinworkingsteadilywastoremoveanysuspicionhemightentertainofmyintenttorunaway;andinthisIsucceededadmirably.
IsupposehethoughtIwasneverbettersatisfiedwithmyconditionthanattheverytimeduringwhichIwasplanningmyescape.
Thesecondweekpassed,andagainIcarriedhimmyfullwages;andsowellpleasedwashe,thathegavemetwenty-fivecents,(quitealargesumforaslaveholdertogiveaslave,)andbademetomakeagooduseofit.
ItoldhimIwould.
Thingswentonwithoutverysmoothlyindeed,butwithintherewastrouble.
Itisimpossibleformetodescribemyfeelingsasthetimeofmycontemplatedstartdrewnear.
Ihadanumberofwarm-heartedfriendsinBaltimore,—friendsthatIlovedalmostasIdidmylife,—andthethoughtofbeingseparatedfromthemforeverwaspainfulbeyondexpression.
Itismyopinionthatthousandswouldescapefromslavery,whonowremain,butforthestrongcordsofaffectionthatbindthemtotheirfriends.
ThethoughtofleavingmyfriendswasdecidedlythemostpainfulthoughtwithwhichIhadtocontend.
Theloveofthemwasmytenderpoint,andshookmydecisionmorethanallthingselse.
Besidesthepainofseparation,thedreadandapprehensionofafailureexceededwhatIhadexperiencedatmyfirstattempt.
TheappallingdefeatIthensustainedreturnedtotormentme.
Ifeltassuredthat,ifIfailedinthisattempt,mycasewouldbeahopelessone—itwouldsealNARRATIVEOFTHE92myfateasaslaveforever.
Icouldnothopetogetoffwithanythinglessthantheseverestpunishment,andbeingplacedbeyondthemeansofescape.
ItrequirednoveryvividimaginationtodepictthemostfrightfulscenesthroughwhichIshouldhavetopass,incaseIfailed.
Thewretchednessofslavery,andtheblessednessoffreedom,wereperpetuallybeforeme.
Itwaslifeanddeathwithme.
ButIremainedfirm,and,accordingtomyresolution,onthethirddayofSeptember,1838,Ileftmychains,andsucceededinreachingNewYorkwithouttheslightestinterruptionofanykind.
HowIdidso,—whatmeansIadopted,—whatdirectionItravelled,andbywhatmodeofconveyance,—Imustleaveunexplained,forthereasonsbeforementioned.
IhavebeenfrequentlyaskedhowIfeltwhenIfoundmyselfinafreeState.
Ihaveneverbeenabletoanswerthequestionwithanysatisfactiontomyself.
ItwasamomentofthehighestexcitementIeverexperienced.
IsupposeIfeltasonemayimaginetheunarmedmarinertofeelwhenheisrescuedbyafriendlyman-of-warfromthepursuitofapirate.
Inwritingtoadearfriend,immediatelyaftermyarrivalatNewYork,IsaidIfeltlikeonewhohadescapedadenofhungrylions.
Thisstateofmind,however,verysoonsubsided;andIwasagainseizedwithafeelingofgreatinsecurityandloneliness.
Iwasyetliabletobetakenback,andsubjectedtoallthetorturesofslavery.
Thisinitselfwasenoughtodamptheardorofmyenthusiasm.
Butthelonelinessovercameme.
ThereIwasinthemidstofthousands,andyetaperfectstranger;withouthomeandwithoutfriends,inthemidstofthousandsofmyownbrethren—childrenofacommonFather,andyetIdarednottounfoldtoanyoneofthemmysadcondition.
Iwasafraidtospeaktoanyoneforfearofspeakingtothewrongone,andtherebyfallingintothehandsofmoney-lovingkidnappers,whosebusinessitwastolieinwaitforthepantingfugitive,astheferociousbeastsoftheforestLIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS93lieinwaitfortheirprey.
ThemottowhichIadoptedwhenIstartedfromslaverywasthis—"Trustnoman!
"Isawineverywhitemananenemy,andinalmosteverycoloredmancausefordistrust.
Itwasamostpainfulsituation;and,tounderstandit,onemustneedsexperienceit,orimaginehimselfinsimilarcircumstances.
Lethimbeafugitiveslaveinastrangeland—alandgivenuptobethehunting-groundforslaveholders—whoseinhabitantsarelegalizedkidnappers—whereheiseverymomentsubjectedtotheterribleliabilityofbeingseizeduponbyhisfellow-men,asthehideouscrocodileseizesuponhisprey!
—Isay,lethimplacehimselfinmysituation—withouthomeorfriends—withoutmoneyorcredit—wantingshelter,andnoonetogiveit—wantingbread,andnomoneytobuyit,—andatthesametimelethimfeelthatheispursuedbymercilessmen-hunters,andintotaldarknessastowhattodo,wheretogo,orwheretostay,—perfectlyhelplessbothastothemeansofdefenceandmeansofescape,—inthemidstofplenty,yetsufferingtheterriblegnawingsofhunger,—inthemidstofhouses,yethavingnohome,—amongfellow-men,yetfeelingasifinthemidstofwildbeasts,whosegreedinesstoswallowupthetremblingandhalf-famishedfugitiveisonlyequalledbythatwithwhichthemonstersofthedeepswallowupthehelplessfishuponwhichtheysubsist,—Isay,lethimbeplacedinthismosttryingsituation,—thesituationinwhichIwasplaced,—then,andnottillthen,willhefullyappreciatethehardshipsof,andknowhowtosympathizewith,thetoil-wornandwhip-scarredfugitiveslave.
ThankHeaven,Iremainedbutashorttimeinthisdistressedsituation.
IwasrelievedfromitbythehumanehandofMr.
DAVIDRUGGLES,whosevigilance,kindness,andperseverance,Ishallneverforget.
Iamgladofanopportunitytoexpress,asfaraswordscan,theloveandgratitudeIbearhim.
Mr.
Rugglesisnowafflictedwithblindness,andishimselfinNARRATIVEOFTHE94needofthesamekindofficeswhichhewasoncesoforwardintheperformanceoftowardothers.
IhadbeeninNewYorkbutafewdays,whenMr.
Rugglessoughtmeout,andverykindlytookmetohisboarding-houseatthecornerofChurchandLespenardStreets.
Mr.
RuggleswasthenverydeeplyengagedinthememorableDargcase,aswellasattendingtoanumberofotherfugitiveslaves,devisingwaysandmeansfortheirsuccessfulescape;and,thoughwatchedandhemmedinonalmosteveryside,heseemedtobemorethanamatchforhisenemies.
VerysoonafterIwenttoMr.
Ruggles,hewishedtoknowofmewhereIwantedtogo;ashedeemeditunsafeformetoremaininNewYork.
ItoldhimIwasacalker,andshouldliketogowhereIcouldgetwork.
IthoughtofgoingtoCanada;buthedecidedagainstit,andinfavorofmygoingtoNewBedford,thinkingIshouldbeabletogetworkthereatmytrade.
Atthistime,Anna,*myintendedwife,cameon;forIwrotetoherimmediatelyaftermyarrivalatNewYork,(notwithstandingmyhomeless,houseless,andhelplesscondition,)informingherofmysuccessfulflight,andwishinghertocomeonforthwith.
Inafewdaysafterherarrival,Mr.
RugglescalledintheRev.
J.
W.
C.
Pennington,who,inthepresenceofMr.
Ruggles,Mrs.
Michaels,andtwoorthreeothers,performedthemarriageceremony,andgaveusacertificate,ofwhichthefollowingisanexactcopy:—"THISmaycertify,thatIjoinedtogetherinholymatrimonyFrederickJohnsonandAnnaMurray,asmanandwife,inthepresenceofMr.
DavidRugglesandMrs.
Michaels.
"JAMESW.
C.
PENNINGTON.
"NewYork,Sept.
15,1838.
"*Shewasfree.
IhadchangedmynamefromFrederickBaileytothatofJohnson.
LIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS95Uponreceivingthiscertificate,andafive-dollarbillfromMr.
Ruggles,Ishoulderedonepartofourbaggage,andAnnatookuptheother,andwesetoutforthwithtotakepassageonboardofthesteamboatJohnW.
RichmondforNewport,onourwaytoNewBedford.
Mr.
RugglesgavemealettertoaMr.
ShawinNewport,andtoldme,incasemymoneydidnotservemetoNewBedford,tostopinNewportandobtainfurtherassistance;butuponourarrivalatNewport,weweresoanxioustogettoaplaceofsafety,that,notwithstandingwelackedthenecessarymoneytopayourfare,wedecidedtotakeseatsinthestage,andpromisetopaywhenwegottoNewBedford.
Wewereencouragedtodothisbytwoexcellentgentlemen,residentsofNewBedford,whosenamesIafterwardascertainedtobeJosephRicketsonandWilliamC.
Taber.
Theyseemedatoncetounderstandourcircumstances,andgaveussuchassuranceoftheirfriendlinessasputusfullyateaseintheirpresence.
Itwasgoodindeedtomeetwithsuchfriends,atsuchatime.
UponreachingNewBedford,weweredirectedtothehouseofMr.
NathanJohnson,bywhomwewerekindlyreceived,andhospitablyprovidedfor.
BothMr.
andMrs.
Johnsontookadeepandlivelyinterestinourwelfare.
Theyprovedthemselvesquiteworthyofthenameofabolitionists.
Whenthestage-driverfoundusunabletopayourfare,heheldonuponourbaggageassecurityforthedebt.
IhadbuttomentionthefacttoMr.
Johnson,andheforthwithadvancedthemoney.
Wenowbegantofeeladegreeofsafety,andtoprepareourselvesforthedutiesandresponsibilitiesofalifeoffreedom.
OnthemorningafterourarrivalatNewBedford,whileatthebreakfast-table,thequestionaroseastowhatnameIshouldbecalledby.
Thenamegivenmebymymotherwas,"FrederickAugustusWashingtonBailey.
"I,however,haddispensedwiththetwomiddlenameslongbeforeIleftMarylandsothatIwasNARRATIVEOFTHE96generallyknownbythenameof"FrederickBailey.
"IstartedfromBaltimorebearingthenameof"Stanley.
"WhenIgottoNewYork,Iagainchangedmynameto"FrederickJohnson,"andthoughtthatwouldbethelastchange.
ButwhenIgottoNewBedford,Ifounditnecessaryagaintochangemyname.
Thereasonofthisnecessitywas,thatthereweresomanyJohnsonsinNewBedford,itwasalreadyquitedifficulttodistinguishbetweenthem.
IgaveMr.
Johnsontheprivilegeofchoosingmeaname,buttoldhimhemustnottakefrommethenameof"Frederick.
"Imustholdontothat,topreserveasenseofmyidentity.
Mr.
Johnsonhadjustbeenreadingthe"LadyoftheLake,"andatoncesuggestedthatmynamebe"Douglass.
"FromthattimeuntilnowIhavebeencalled"FrederickDouglass;"andasIammorewidelyknownbythatnamethanbyeitheroftheothers,Ishallcontinuetouseitasmyown.
IwasquitedisappointedatthegeneralappearanceofthingsinNewBedford.
TheimpressionwhichIhadreceivedrespectingthecharacterandconditionofthepeopleofthenorth,Ifoundtobesingularlyerroneous.
Ihadverystrangelysupposed,whileinslavery,thatfewofthecomforts,andscarcelyanyoftheluxuries,oflifewereenjoyedatthenorth,comparedwithwhatwereenjoyedbytheslaveholdersofthesouth.
Iprobablycametothisconclusionfromthefactthatnorthernpeopleownednoslaves.
Isupposedthattheywereaboutuponalevelwiththenon-slaveholdingpopulationofthesouth.
Iknewtheywereexceedinglypoor,andIhadbeenaccustomedtoregardtheirpovertyasthenecessaryconsequenceoftheirbeingnon-slaveholders.
Ihadsomehowimbibedtheopinionthat,intheabsenceofslaves,therecouldbenowealth,andverylittlerefinement.
Anduponcomingtothenorth,Iexpectedtomeetwitharough,hard-handed,anduncultivatedpopulation,livinginthemostSpartan-likesimplicity,knowingnothingoftheease,luxury,pomp,andLIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS97grandeurofsouthernslaveholders.
Suchbeingmyconjectures,anyoneacquaintedwiththeappearanceofNewBedfordmayveryreadilyinferhowpalpablyImusthaveseenmymistake.
IntheafternoonofthedaywhenIreachedNewBedford,Ivisitedthewharves,totakeaviewoftheshipping.
HereIfoundmyselfsurroundedwiththestrongestproofsofwealth.
Lyingatthewharves,andridinginthestream,Isawmanyshipsofthefinestmodel,inthebestorder,andofthelargestsize.
Upontherightandleft,Iwaswalledinbygranitewarehousesofthewidestdimensions,stowedtotheirutmostcapacitywiththenecessariesandcomfortsoflife.
Addedtothis,almosteverybodyseemedtobeatwork,butnoiselesslyso,comparedwithwhatIhadbeenaccustomedtoinBaltimore.
Therewerenoloudsongsheardfromthoseengagedinloadingandunloadingships.
Iheardnodeepoathsorhorridcursesonthelaborer.
Isawnowhippingofmen;butallseemedtogosmoothlyon.
Everymanappearedtounderstandhiswork,andwentatitwithasober,yetcheerfulearnestness,whichbetokenedthedeepinterestwhichhefeltinwhathewasdoing,aswellasasenseofhisowndignityasaman.
Tomethislookedexceedinglystrange.
FromthewharvesIstrolledaroundandoverthetown,gazingwithwonderandadmirationatthesplendidchurches,beautifuldwellings,andfinely-cultivatedgardens;evincinganamountofwealth,comfort,taste,andrefinement,suchasIhadneverseeninanypartofslaveholdingMaryland.
Everythinglookedclean,new,andbeautiful.
Isawfewornodilapidatedhouses,withpoverty-strickeninmates;nohalf-nakedchildrenandbarefootedwomen,suchasIhadbeenaccustomedtoseeinHillsborough,Easton,St.
Michael's,andBaltimore.
Thepeoplelookedmoreable,stronger,healthier,andhappier,thanthoseofMaryland.
Iwasforoncemadegladbyaviewofextremewealth,withoutbeingsaddenedbyseeingextremepoverty.
ButthemostastonishingaswellasthemostNARRATIVEOFTHE98interestingthingtomewastheconditionofthecoloredpeople,agreatmanyofwhom,likemyself,hadescapedthitherasarefugefromthehuntersofmen.
Ifoundmany,whohadnotbeensevenyearsoutoftheirchains,livinginfinerhouses,andevidentlyenjoyingmoreofthecomfortsoflife,thantheaverageofslaveholdersinMaryland.
Iwillventuretoassert,thatmyfriendMr.
NathanJohnson(ofwhomIcansaywithagratefulheart,"Iwashungry,andhegavememeat;Iwasthirsty,andhegavemedrink;Iwasastranger,andhetookmein")livedinaneaterhouse;dinedatabettertable;took,paidfor,andread,morenewspapers;betterunderstoodthemoral,religious,andpoliticalcharacterofthenation,—thanninetenthsoftheslaveholdersinTalbotcountyMaryland.
YetMr.
Johnsonwasaworkingman.
Hishandswerehardenedbytoil,andnothisalone,butthosealsoofMrs.
Johnson.
IfoundthecoloredpeoplemuchmorespiritedthanIhadsupposedtheywouldbe.
Ifoundamongthemadeterminationtoprotecteachotherfromtheblood-thirstykidnapper,atallhazards.
Soonaftermyarrival,Iwastoldofacircumstancewhichillustratedtheirspirit.
Acoloredmanandafugitiveslavewereonunfriendlyterms.
Theformerwasheardtothreatenthelatterwithinforminghismasterofhiswhereabouts.
Straightwayameetingwascalledamongthecoloredpeople,underthestereotypednotice,"Businessofimportance!
"Thebetrayerwasinvitedtoattend.
Thepeoplecameattheappointedhour,andorganizedthemeetingbyappointingaveryreligiousoldgentlemanaspresident,who,Ibelieve,madeaprayer,afterwhichheaddressedthemeetingasfollows:"Friends,wehavegothimhere,andIwouldrecommendthatyouyoungmenjusttakehimoutsidethedoor,andkillhim!
"Withthis,anumberofthemboltedathim;buttheywereinterceptedbysomemoretimidthanthemselves,andthebetrayerescapedtheirvengeance,andhasnotbeenseeninNewBedfordsince.
IbelievetherehaveLIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS99beennomoresuchthreats,andshouldtherebehereafter,Idoubtnotthatdeathwouldbetheconsequence.
Ifoundemployment,thethirddayaftermyarrival,instowingasloopwithaloadofoil.
Itwasnew,dirty,andhardworkforme;butIwentatitwithagladheartandawillinghand.
Iwasnowmyownmaster.
Itwasahappymoment,theraptureofwhichcanbeunderstoodonlybythosewhohavebeenslaves.
Itwasthefirstwork,therewardofwhichwastobeentirelymyown.
TherewasnoMasterHughstandingready,themomentIearnedthemoney,torobmeofit.
IworkedthatdaywithapleasureIhadneverbeforeexperienced.
Iwasatworkformyselfandnewly-marriedwife.
Itwastomethestarting-pointofanewexistence.
WhenIgotthroughwiththatjob,Iwentinpursuitofajobofcalking;butsuchwasthestrengthofprejudiceagainstcolor,amongthewhitecalkers,thattheyrefusedtoworkwithme,andofcourseIcouldgetnoemployment.
*Findingmytradeofnoimmediatebenefit,Ithrewoffmycalkinghabiliments,andpreparedmyselftodoanykindofworkIcouldgettodo.
Mr.
Johnsonkindlyletmehavehiswood-horseandsaw,andIverysoonfoundmyselfaplentyofwork.
Therewasnoworktoohard—nonetoodirty.
Iwasreadytosawwood,shovelcoal,carrywood,sweepthechimney,orrolloilcasks,—allofwhichIdidfornearlythreeyearsinNewBedford,beforeIbecameknowntotheanti-slaveryworld.
InaboutfourmonthsafterIwenttoNewBedford,therecameayoungmantome,andinquiredifIdidnotwishtotakethe"Liberator.
"ItoldhimIdid;but,justhavingmademyescapefromslavery,IremarkedthatIwasunabletopayforitthen.
I,however,finallybecameasubscribertoit.
Thepapercame,andIreaditfromweektoweekwithsuchfeelingsasit*IamtoldthatcoloredpersonscannowgetemploymentatcalkinginNewBedford—aresultofanti-slaveryeffort.
NARRATIVEOFTHE100wouldbequiteidleformetoattempttodescribe.
Thepaperbecamemymeatandmydrink.
Mysoulwassetallonfire.
Itssympathyformybrethreninbonds—itsscathingdenunciationsofslaveholders—itsfaithfulexposuresofslavery—anditspowerfulattacksupontheupholdersoftheinstitution—sentathrillofjoythroughmysoul,suchasIhadneverfeltbefore!
Ihadnotlongbeenareaderofthe"Liberator,"beforeIgotaprettycorrectideaoftheprinciples,measuresandspiritoftheanti-slaveryreform.
Itookrightholdofthecause.
Icoulddobutlittle;butwhatIcould,Ididwithajoyfulheart,andneverfelthappierthanwheninananti-slaverymeeting.
Iseldomhadmuchtosayatthemeetings,becausewhatIwantedtosaywassaidsomuchbetterbyothers.
But,whileattendingananti-slaveryconventionatNantucket,onthe11thofAugust,1841,Ifeltstronglymovedtospeak,andwasatthesametimemuchurgedtodosobyMr.
WilliamC.
Coffin,agentlemanwhohadheardmespeakinthecoloredpeople'smeetingatNewBedford.
Itwasaseverecross,andItookitupreluctantly.
Thetruthwas,Ifeltmyselfaslave,andtheideaofspeakingtowhitepeopleweighedmedown.
Ispokebutafewmoments,whenIfeltadegreeoffreedom,andsaidwhatIdesiredwithconsiderableease.
Fromthattimeuntilnow,Ihavebeenengagedinpleadingthecauseofmybrethren—withwhatsuccess,andwithwhatdevotion,Ileavethoseacquaintedwithmylaborstodecide.
APPENDIX.
IFIND,sincereadingovertheforegoingNarrative,thatIhave,inseveralinstances,spokeninsuchatoneandmanner,respectingreligion,asmaypossiblyleadthoseunacquaintedwithmyreligiousviewstosupposemeanopponentofallreligion.
Toremovetheliabilityofsuchmisapprehension,Ideemitpropertoappendthefollowingbriefexplanation.
WhatIhavesaidrespectingandagainstreligion,Imeanstrictlytoapplytotheslaveholdingreligionofthisland,andwithnopossiblereferencetoChristianityproper;for,betweentheChristianityofthisland,andtheChristianityofChrist,Irecognizethewidestpossibledifference—sowide,thattoreceivetheoneasgood,pure,andholy,isofnecessitytorejecttheotherasbad,corrupt,andwicked.
Tobethefriendoftheone,isofnecessitytobetheenemyoftheother.
Ilovethepure,peaceable,andimpartialChristianityofChrist:Ithereforehatethecorrupt,slaveholding,women-whipping,cradle-plundering,partialandhypocriticalChristianityofthisland.
Indeed,Icanseenoreason,butthemostdeceitfulone,forcallingthereligionofthislandChristianity.
Ilookuponitastheclimaxofallmisnomers,theboldestofallfrauds,andthegrossestofalllibels.
Neverwasthereaclearercaseof"stealingtheliveryofthecourtofheaventoservethedevilin.
"IamfilledwithunutterableloathingwhenIcontemplatethereligiouspompandshow,togetherwiththehorribleinconsistencies,whicheverywheresurroundme.
Wehavemen-stealersforministers,women-whippersformissionaries,andcradle-plunderersforAPPENDIXTOTHE102churchmembers.
Themanwhowieldstheblood-clottedcowskinduringtheweekfillsthepulpitonSunday,andclaimstobeaministerofthemeekandlowlyJesus.
Themanwhorobsmeofmyearningsattheendofeachweekmeetsmeasaclass-leaderonSundaymorning,toshowmethewayoflife,andthepathofsalvation.
Hewhosellsmysister,forpurposesofprostitution,standsforthasthepiousadvocateofpurity.
HewhoproclaimsitareligiousdutytoreadtheBibledeniesmetherightoflearningtoreadthenameoftheGodwhomademe.
Hewhoisthereligiousadvocateofmarriagerobswholemillionsofitssacredinfluence,andleavesthemtotheravagesofwholesalepollution.
Thewarmdefenderofthesacrednessofthefamilyrelationisthesamethatscatterswholefamilies,—sunderinghusbandsandwives,parentsandchildren,sistersandbrothers,—leavingthehutvacant,andthehearthdesolate.
Weseethethiefpreachingagainsttheft,andtheadultereragainstadultery.
Wehavemensoldtobuildchurches,womensoldtosupportthegospel,andbabessoldtopurchaseBiblesforthepoorheathen!
allforthegloryofGodandthegoodofsouls!
Theslaveauctioneer'sbellandthechurch-goingbellchimeinwitheachother,andthebittercriesoftheheart-brokenslavearedrownedinthereligiousshoutsofhispiousmaster.
Revivalsofreligionandrevivalsintheslave-tradegohandinhandtogether.
Theslaveprisonandthechurchstandneareachother.
Theclankingoffettersandtherattlingofchainsintheprison,andthepiouspsalmandsolemnprayerinthechurch,maybeheardatthesametime.
Thedealersinthebodiesandsoulsofmenerecttheirstandinthepresenceofthepulpit,andtheymutuallyhelpeachother.
Thedealergiveshisblood-stainedgoldtosupportthepulpit,andthepulpit,inreturn,covershisinfernalbusinesswiththegarbofChristianity.
Herewehavereligionandrobberythealliesofeachother—devilsdressedinangels'robes,andhellpresentingthesemblanceofparadise.
LIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS103"JustGod!
andthesearethey,Whoministeratthinealtar,Godofright!
Menwhotheirhands,withprayerandblessing,layOnIsrael'sarkoflight.
"What!
preach,andkidnapmenGivethanks,androbthyownafflictedpoorTalkofthygloriousliberty,andthenBolthardthecaptive'sdoor"What!
servantsofthyownMercifulSon,whocametoseekandsaveThehomelessandtheoutcast,fetteringdownThetaskedandplunderedslave!
"PilateandHerodfriends!
Chiefpriestsandrulers,asofold,combine!
JustGodandholy!
isthatchurchwhichlendsStrengthtothespoilerthine"TheChristianityofAmericaisaChristianity,ofwhosevotariesitmaybeastrulysaid,asitwasoftheancientscribesandPharisees,"Theybindheavyburdens,andgrievoustobeborne,andlaythemonmen'sshoulders,buttheythemselveswillnotmovethemwithoneoftheirfingers.
Alltheirworkstheydofortobeseenofmen.
—Theylovetheuppermostroomsatfeasts,andthechiefseatsinthesynagogues,andtobecalledofmen,Rabbi,Rabbi.
—Butwoeuntoyou,scribesandPharisees,hypocrites!
foryeshutupthekingdomofheavenagainstmen;foryeneithergoinyourselves,neithersufferyethemthatareenteringtogoin.
Yedevourwidows'houses,andforapretencemakelongprayers;thereforeyeshallreceivethegreaterdamnation.
YecompassseaandlandtomakeoneAPPENDIXTOTHE104proselyte,andwhenheismade,yemakehimtwofoldmorethechildofhellthanyourselves.
—Woeuntoyou,scribesandPharisees,hypocrites!
foryepaytitheofmint,andanise,andcumin,andhaveomittedtheweightiermattersofthelaw,judgment,mercy,andfaith;theseoughtyetohavedone,andnottoleavetheotherundone.
Yeblindguides!
whichstrainatagnat,andswallowacamel.
Woeuntoyou,scribesandPharisees,hypocrites!
foryemakecleantheoutsideofthecupandoftheplatter;butwithin,theyarefullofextortionandexcess.
—Woeuntoyou,scribesandPharisees,hypocrites!
foryearelikeuntowhitedsepulchres,whichindeedappearbeautifuloutward,butarewithinfullofdeadmen'sbones,andofalluncleanness.
Evensoyealsooutwardlyappearrighteousuntomen,butwithinyearefullofhypocrisyandiniquity.
"Darkandterribleasisthispicture,IholdittobestrictlytrueoftheoverwhelmingmassofprofessedChristiansinAmerica.
Theystrainatagnat,andswallowacamel.
CouldanythingbemoretrueofourchurchesTheywouldbeshockedatthepropositionoffellowshippingasheep-stealer;andatthesametimetheyhugtotheircommunionaman-stealer,andbrandmewithbeinganinfidel,ifIfindfaultwiththemforit.
TheyattendwithPharisaicalstrictnesstotheoutwardformsofreligion,andatthesametimeneglecttheweightiermattersofthelaw,judgment,mercy,andfaith.
Theyarealwaysreadytosacrifice,butseldomtoshowmercy.
TheyaretheywhoarerepresentedasprofessingtoloveGodwhomtheyhavenotseen,whilsttheyhatetheirbrotherwhomtheyhaveseen.
Theylovetheheathenontheothersideoftheglobe.
Theycanprayforhim,paymoneytohavetheBibleputintohishand,andmissionariestoinstructhim;whiletheydespiseandtotallyneglecttheheathenattheirowndoors.
Suchis,verybriefly,myviewofthereligionofthisland;andtoavoidanymisunderstanding,growingoutoftheuseofLIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS105generalterms,Imeanbythereligionofthisland,thatwhichisrevealedinthewords,deeds,andactions,ofthosebodies,northandsouth,callingthemselvesChristianchurches,andyetinunionwithslaveholders.
Itisagainstreligion,aspresentedbythesebodies,thatIhavefeltitmydutytotestify.
Iconcludetheseremarksbycopyingthefollowingportraitofthereligionofthesouth,(whichis,bycommunionandfellowship,thereligionofthenorth,)whichIsoberlyaffirmis"truetothelife,"andwithoutcaricatureortheslightestexaggeration.
Itissaidtohavebeendrawn,severalyearsbeforethepresentanti-slaveryagitationbegan,byanorthernMethodistpreacher,who,whileresidingatthesouth,hadanopportunitytoseeslaveholdingmorals,manners,andpiety,withhisowneyes.
"ShallInotvisitforthesethingssaiththeLord.
Shallnotmysoulbeavengedonsuchanationasthis""APARODY"Come,saintsandsinners,hearmetellHowpiouspriestswhipJackandNell,Andwomenbuyandchildrensell,Andpreachallsinnersdowntohell,Andsingofheavenlyunion.
"They'llbleatandbaa,donalikegoats,Gorgedownblacksheep,andstrainatmotes,Arraytheirbacksinfineblackcoats,Thenseizetheirnegroesbytheirthroats,Andchoke,forheavenlyunion.
"They'llchurchyouifyousipadram,Anddamnyouifyoustealalamb;YetroboldTony,Doll,andSam,APPENDIXTOTHE106Ofhumanrights,andbreadandham;Kidnapper'sheavenlyunion.
"They'llloudlytalkofChrist'sreward,Andbindhisimagewithacord,Andscold,andswingthelashabhorred,AndselltheirbrotherintheLordTohandcuffedheavenlyunion.
"They'llreadandsingasacredsong,Andmakeaprayerbothloudandlong,Andteachtherightanddothewrong,Hailingthebrother,sisterthrong,Withwordsofheavenlyunion.
"Wewonderhowsuchsaintscansing,OrpraisetheLorduponthewing,Whoroar,andscold,andwhip,andsting,Andtotheirslavesandmammoncling,Inguiltyconscienceunion.
"They'llraisetobacco,corn,andrye,Anddrive,andthieve,andcheat,andlie,Andlayuptreasuresinthesky,Bymakingswitchandcowskinfly,Inhopeofheavenlyunion.
"They'llcrackoldTonyontheskull,AndpreachandroarlikeBashanbull,Orbrayingass,ofmischieffull,ThenseizeoldJacobbythewool,Andpullforheavenlyunion.
LIFEOFFREDERICKDOUGLASS107"Aroaring,ranting,sleekman-thief,Wholivedonmutton,veal,andbeef,YetneverwouldaffordreliefToneedy,sablesonsofgrief,Wasbigwithheavenlyunion.
"'Lovenottheworld,'thepreachersaid,Andwinkedhiseye,andshookhishead;HeseizedonTom,andDick,andNed,Cutshorttheirmeat,andclothes,andbread,Yetstilllovedheavenlyunion.
"AnotherpreacherwhiningspokeOfOnewhoseheartforsinnersbroke:HetiedoldNannytoanoak,Anddrewthebloodateverystroke,Andprayedforheavenlyunion.
"Twoothersopedtheirironjaws,Andwavedtheirchildren-stealingpaws;Theresattheirchildreningewgaws;Bystintingnegroes'backsandmaws,Theykeptupheavenlyunion.
"AllgoodfromJackanothertakes,Andentertainstheirflirtsandrakes,Whodressassleekasglossysnakes,Andcramtheirmouthswithsweetenedcakes;Andthisgoesdownforunion.
"SincerelyandearnestlyhopingthatthislittlebookmaydosomethingtowardthrowinglightontheAmericanslavesystem,andhasteningthegladdayofdeliverancetothemillionsofmyAPPENDIXTOTHE108brethreninbonds—faithfullyrelyinguponthepoweroftruth,love,andjustice,forsuccessinmyhumbleefforts—andsolemnlypledgingmyselfanewtothesacredcause,—Isubscribemyself,FREDERICKDOUGLASS.
LYNN,Mass.
,April28,1845.
THEEND.